The Placemat for the Veterans Day Luncheon at Roswell Presbyterian Church.
We just returned home from the Veterans Day Luncheon at Roswell Presbyterian Church. The luncheon was hosted by the Wit and Wisdom group and the Military Ministry committee. Wit and Wisdom is a group for adults over 50. The Military Ministry group is made up of Veterans, family members of someone in the service and anyone who would like to support military members, veterans and their families.
As part of the luncheon the members of Prayers and Squares ministry brought 6′ x 6″ prayer squares for us to pray over. The squares will be shipped to the chaplain of the battalion my son is part of. Some of the prayer squares will also be sent to the rear detachment chaplain to be distributed to family members who will find comfort in knowing a church family is holding them in prayer.
Prayer Squares made by Joyce Pettit and the Prayers and Squares Ministry.
The Roswell High School JROTC color guard opened the program by presenting the colors. That was a special treat for me. My oldest son was part of the Hornet Battalion color guard in high school. Then the Rev. Dr. Bill Nisbet moderated a program where the veterans at each table interacted with members of the middle and high school youth at their table. It was a fun afternoon. The students learned quite a bit from the veterans From the level of conversation in the room I know the veterans enjoyed talking to the youth too.
The Roswell High School JROTC Color Guard. photo by Stanley Leary
An added bonus for me was sharing a table with Col. Bill Buckley, U.S. Marines, Retired. Bill and I met a few years ago at a dinner hosted by the Atlanta Citadel Club. Shortly after that dinner Bill and his wife joined our church. He has been a terrific resource for me as I learn the ins and outs of being the mom of an active duty second lieutenant. He is also a faithful member of the Military Ministry, which this month is one year old this month.
Dorie visits with Col Bill Buckley, U.S. Marines, Retired. He is also a graduate of The Citadel. photo by Stanley Leary
Can you believe you have made it this far in the semester? By now your vocabulary should include quite a few new terms specific to The Citadel. You should have a level of comfort with your new normal as parents of a cadet.
In the next week your knob will experience their first Thanksgiving dinner Citadel style. The cadets will gather in the mess hall for a family style Thanksgiving dinner. The highlights of the night are the hats made for upperclass cadets by their mentees. Juniors are given hats made of a sheet of poster board and resemble a stove-pipe decorated with the upperclass cadet in mind. The seniors hats can be very elaborate. My sons senior year his mentee made a hat that looked like a tank in honor of his news of being in the Armor branch of the Army. Knobs wear an Indian style head-dress with one construction paper feather and the sophomores wear a similar head-dress with two feathers. Watch for the photos. Each company has a few other traditions that evening. The stories and photos are a lot of fun to hear when they get home.
The tank hat had a working gun in the front that shot out fireworks.
Speaking of home. . . usually parents of knobs are very anxious to have their son or daughter home for a whole week. The knobs are anxious to be home too. Just remember they will also be looking forward to seeing their friends from home. The experience varies for each cadet. Many enjoy seeing their friends, but begin to see just how different their college experience is from their friends. Some feel very different and can’t relate as well to friends who went right to work or are attending a non-military school.
While they have to keep their rooms at The Citadel in decent order those organizational skills don’t always transfer home with them. Don’t be surprised if their room at home looks like a small bomb exploded.
This can also be a time when they begin to question their choice of school, if they haven’t yet. If this happens with your cadet remind them they are almost done with the first semester and they can make it to the Christmas break. Some cadets decide that after first semester they do not want to continue at a military school for the rest of their college career. Others are more determined than ever to stick it out to prove to themselves they can make it. You know your child better than anyone and will have to decide how to proceed if they bring up the subject of changing schools.
If you need help with transportation post a notice to one of the many parent groups on Facebook. You can also call the Cadet Activities office to see if they can help with ride share requests.
Above all else, enjoy your time together. You’ve all accomplished quite a bit in a few short months.
This past week was a mixed bag of activity and emotions. Each fall I work on a project for a nonprofit education organization, the Georgia Partnership for Excellence in Education. Last week I had to travel to Athens, GA to go over hotel and conference center arrangements for the trip. It was special meeting though.
I wasn’t meeting with just any conference center sales person. My contact there is a friend I have known for most of my life. We grew up in the same small northern New Jersey town, went to school and church together and participated in many of the same activities over the years.
March 1989. Elizabeth and Dorie with baby Nelson.
Years later Elizabeth moved to Atlanta after I had been here  a few years. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, then later died, Elizabeth was there to support and comfort me. I was pregnant with my first baby during this time. Elizabeth and her husband, Ron, were the first visitors to the hospital when my oldest son was born. Later when my husband’s position in a hotel in Texas didn’t work out, Elizabeth flew out and drove my car back to Georgia for me. I was pregnant with our second son at the time.
So last week as I drove to Athens I began to remember all the times this life long friend was there to help me during some of the worst, and some of the happiest, times of my life. As I drove along I found myself choking up. It won’t be long until my first-born son will be deployed to Afghanistan. There I was about to see the one friend who, by the grace of God, has been near by at my most difficult life moments.
You see, Elizabeth is one of the most loyal of friends and compassionate people I know. She is the type of friend you can go months or years not seeing, but pick up right where you left off when you do talk. She is very bright, witty, extremely smart, and creative. And she is a Navy spouse. Her husband, Ron, is a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy. When I am around Elizabeth I feel more energized, I also feel at home.
Our meeting and property tour went as most do, but with a special time to visit over lunch. When I arrived at the conference center the emotions around the pending deployment of my son that had choked me up during the trip just disappeared. The joy of being in the company of a good friend totally overwhelmed the anxiety of sending a child to war.
This next year I think I’ll make more trips to Athens.
June 2011. Dorie and Elizabeth visit in Oconee County, GA.
Dorie and Jerri catch up after the Family Readiness Group meeting.
I attended my first Family Readiness Group (FRG) meeting last week at Fort Stewart. The meeting date was posted to the battalion Facebook group a few days before the meeting. With a deployment on the horizon it was a meeting I really had to attend to help me understand the ins and outs of getting ready.
After making sure the rest of the family would be set if I was gone for two days, I checked to see If I could stay with a good friend and fellow Citadel mom, Jerri. When we found out my son would be at Fort Stewart, Jerri told me that I could stay with her if I came to town. It was time to take her up on her offer.
It is a four-hour drive from our home to Fort Stewart. I arrived at Jerri’s house with just enough time to visit then leave for the meeting. Jerri went out of her way to make me feel at home. She even drove with me onto the base to make sure I found the right building for the meeting.
I knew ahead of time that I probably would not get to see my son since he was busy with his work and may be in the field. On my way to town I had spoken to the executive director of Care For The Troops and found there was a fellow member of the board of directors that lived near the base. When I spoke to him it turned out he wasn’t free, but his wife is the Military Family Life Consultant (MFLC) for my sons battalion and she would be at the meeting.
As I parked the car near the building I saw a number of young couples walking toward the building with their small children in tow. The meeting room was packed when I got there. The only seat left was right next to my new contact with the MFLC!
The lieutenant colonel began the meeting by introducing the various Family Readiness Group leaders, including his wife. He then began to go over the calendar for the next several months using PowerPoint. I have learned during my son’s time at The Citadel that the military loves to use PowerPoint. Each time he would use an abbreviation for a term his wife would ask him to explain the abbreviation. I was grateful for her questions since I had no idea what they meant. While he talked I took notes so I would remember the terms after I walked out. During the meeting I also made friends with two young wives and their toddler age daughters. These young women said they also appreciated the meeting since their husbands tell them very little.
The biggest surprise came when the meeting was over. I checked my phone for messages and learned my son sent a text asking if I’d like to meet him for dinner when he got off work! It would take a while for him to finish up so I spoke to the FRG leaders and the lieutenant colonel after the meeting. I was given some free information and a small doll to give my daughter. The booklet, A Handbook for Family & Friends of Service Members: Before, During and After Deployment, and the file folder with information from USAA Insurance includes lots of reading material. It will keep me busy reading all the information.
A few of the items I was given at the Family Readiness Group meeting.
The highlight of my visit came later that night when I finally caught up with my son. He worked until 8:00 pm so we met at his condo and went out for a late dinner. It was obvious that the was extremely tired. He gets to bed each night by 9:00pm and is up very early to get to work. He is learning that what he went through knob year is nothing compared the schedule and demands on him now. When our dinner arrived at 9:15 it was the first meal he had since early that morning. We caught up on family news and his weekend adventures. Then came THE conversation. The one every family should have before a deployment. He began to tell me his wishes should he not return alive from his mission.
The conversation flowed. he told me his plans and explained he had already reviewed them with his father, my ex. I was impressed by the level of thought he put into his plans. I was also very happy that he brought it up with me during this visit when it was just us there to talk. We have had very few one-on-one talks since he left for college five years ago. The conversation didn’t bother me then, and really doesn’t bother me now either. It is just a little surreal to discuss final plans with your child. It brings home the fact that their chosen career means they are in harm’s way. It just isn’t the type of conversation I ever had with my own parents when I started my first job out of college.
After dinner I saw his condo for the first time. A beautiful place right on the river near Savannah. We didn’t visit long after dinner since he had to get up early the next morning.
My friend Jerri stopped in my room when I got home to talk about my visit. I so appreciated the opportunity to stay at her home and have her counsel as an Army wife. She has years of experience with deployments and other aspects of Army life.
Now it’s time to start reading all the information I was given.
Knobs line the street Friday afternoon. The seniors will process between them on their way to receive their rings in the field house.
Only four weeks until Parents Weekend at The Citadel. I won’t be attending the events, but I am in touch with quite a few parents who are looking forward to October 12. Parents of knobs can’t wait to visit their knob and see the barracks and the other activities on campus. The senior parents, especially the moms, are getting ready to see their cadet receive their hard-earned ring and walk through the giant replica of the ring Friday night.
Bravo Company banner, 2007.
Knob parents:
Parking is hard to find so get to campus early and plan to walk a lot.
If you can, arrive early enough on Friday to see the knobs line the street in front of the barracks. The seniors will walk between the knobs on their way to receive their rings. he knobs cheer them on as they pass by.
Friday afternoon belongs to the seniors. You are encouraged to visit the academic departments with your knob then take them off campus for the afternoon and evening.
Be sure to pay special attention to the company banner Saturday morning. The knobs work very hard to make sure the banner looks great. There are also bulletin boards to take note of as well.
Make lunch plans for Saturday. You can eat in the Coward Mess hall with your cadet and will need a ticket. You can purchase them in advance or on Friday afternoon through the Cadet Activities office. Boxed lunches are also available or you can bring your own lunch.
Bravo Company banner, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
Bulletin board recognizing the one 2011 Summerall Guard member in Bravo Company. photo by Stanley Leary
The promotion ceremony, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
The Ring Presentation ceremony begins. 2010 photo by Stanley Leary
Senior parents:
If you can arrive Thursday evening so you can get to campus early on Friday. The parking as on most big weekends is tight.
Dress for the afternoon should be in keeping with the occasion. The cadets are in their most formal uniform. You will see people in a variety of different types of clothes. a Jacket and tie for the gentlemen and a dress or nice slacks for the ladies is appropriate. Again you’ll see families in a variety of different clothes Friday afternoon.
Friday evening plans will revolve around when your cadets company is scheduled to go through the ring. Cadet Activities posts the schedule.
Dress for the mothers and anyone else going through the ring with the cadet is formal.
Check with your cadet to see what the plans are for dinner that night. Some eat before they go through the ring others go after.
Ladies, be aware that  you may be standing behind the scenes for a while before you go through the ring.
Family members not going through the ring go inside the field house to watch the presentations.
Our family outside 1st Battalion after the ring ceremony.
If you plan on being in Charleston for the weekend I hope you have your hotel reservations. If not, I have some information to share with you regarding availability.
Hotels I’ve checked with have given me the following availability and rate information for Parents Weekend and Homecoming. You can also try hotels.com or another web site to find a hotel at a good rate. Vrbo.com is a good place to start if you’d like a rental property. If you are staying three nights and are looking for a rental property call recent grad, Chip Morrison, of Carolina One Realty, 843-343-3525.
Comfort Inn near campus has availability for both parents Weekend and Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. They also offer a frequent guest program. Be sure to ask about it at the desk at check in.
Hawthorn Suites has some rooms for Oct. 13th  and still has availability for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate.  $74 plus tax.
Homewood Suites Charleston Airport is offering a nightly rate of $137 plus tax for Parents Weekend. Call the front desk, 843-735-5000 and ask for The Citadel rate.
LaQuinta Inn & Suites Charleston Riverview is sold out for Parents Weekend but does have rooms for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. $92 plus tax.
Marriott Charleston has a limited amount of rooms for October 13 for the special rate of $189. For Homecoming they have a few rooms left and selling for a two night minimum for Friday and Saturday. THe rate is $319 per room per night.
Knobs line the street Friday afternoon. The seniors will process between them on their way to receive their rings in the field house.
Only four weeks until Parents Weekend at The Citadel. I won’t be attending the events, but I am in touch with quite a few parents who are looking forward to October 12. Parents of knobs can’t wait to visit their knob and see the barracks and the other activities on campus. The senior parents, especially the moms, are getting ready to see their cadet receive their hard-earned ring and walk through the giant replica of the ring Friday night.
Bravo Company banner, 2007.
Knob parents:
Parking is hard to find so get to campus early and plan to walk a lot.
If you can, arrive early enough on Friday to see the knobs line the street in front of the barracks. The seniors will walk between the knobs on their way to receive their rings. he knobs cheer them on as they pass by.
Friday afternoon belongs to the seniors. You are encouraged to visit the academic departments with your knob then take them off campus for the afternoon and evening.
Be sure to pay special attention to the company banner Saturday morning. The knobs work very hard to make sure the banner looks great. There are also bulletin boards to take note of as well.
Make lunch plans for Saturday. You can eat in the Coward Mess hall with your cadet and will need a ticket. You can purchase them in advance or on Friday afternoon through the Cadet Activities office. Boxed lunches are also available or you can bring your own lunch.
Bravo Company banner, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
Bulletin board recognizing the one 2011 Summerall Guard member in Bravo Company. photo by Stanley Leary
The promotion ceremony, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
The Ring Presentation ceremony begins. 2010 photo by Stanley Leary
Senior parents:
If you can arrive Thursday evening so you can get to campus early on Friday. The parking as on most big weekends is tight.
Dress for the afternoon should be in keeping with the occasion. The cadets are in their most formal uniform. You will see people in a variety of different types of clothes. a Jacket and tie for the gentlemen and a dress or nice slacks for the ladies is appropriate. Again you’ll see families in a variety of different clothes Friday afternoon.
Friday evening plans will revolve around when your cadets company is scheduled to go through the ring. Cadet Activities posts the schedule.
Dress for the mothers and anyone else going through the ring with the cadet is formal.
Check with your cadet to see what the plans are for dinner that night. Some eat before they go through the ring others go after.
Ladies, be aware that  you may be standing behind the scenes for a while before you go through the ring.
Family members not going through the ring go inside the field house to watch the presentations.
Our family outside 1st Battalion after the ring ceremony.
If you plan on being in Charleston for the weekend I hope you have your hotel reservations. If not, I have some information to share with you regarding availability.
Hotels I’ve checked with have given me the following availability and rate information for Parents Weekend and Homecoming. You can also try hotels.com or another web site to find a hotel at a good rate. Vrbo.com is a good place to start if you’d like a rental property. If you are staying three nights and are looking for a rental property call recent grad, Chip Morrison, of Carolina One Realty, 843-343-3525.
Comfort Inn near campus has availability for both parents Weekend and Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. They also offer a frequent guest program. Be sure to ask about it at the desk at check in.
Hawthorn Suites has some rooms for Oct. 13th  and still has availability for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate.  $74 plus tax.
Homewood Suites Charleston Airport is offering a nightly rate of $137 plus tax for Parents Weekend. Call the front desk, 843-735-5000 and ask for The Citadel rate.
LaQuinta Inn & Suites Charleston Riverview is sold out for Parents Weekend but does have rooms for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. $92 plus tax.
Marriott Charleston has a limited amount of rooms for October 13 for the special rate of $189. For Homecoming they have a few rooms left and selling for a two night minimum for Friday and Saturday. THe rate is $319 per room per night.
Dorie performs her comedy routine at The Punchline Comedy Club as part of the graduation show of The Jeff Justice Comedy Workshop. photo by Stanley Leary
The official video from my comedy writing class graduation arrived today. The Jeff Justice Comedy Workshop is a great way to learn to put humor into your every day experiences. Many of the graduates have gone on to become stand up comedians too.
I lecture on traumatic stress so I thought this would be a good way to learn how to lighten up a very important, but heavy topic. We are also preparing for my oldest sons first deployment to Afghanistan. Taking this class was a great way to combat the stress his departure.
The past few weeks have been very busy for me and I haven’t had a chance to update the blog. Many of the readers here are parents with cadets at The Citadel. Today I’ll address these parents.
A week ago the Citadel parent Facebook groups began to light up with concerns over various alleged happenings on campus. This happens in some form each year. A cadet will talk to their parent about a situation then a parent will post a concern to a Facebook group. Then stories are compared, opinions are aired, and before you know it parents are upset. It’s a wild form of the childhood game of post office. The end report sounds nothing like what actually happened.
The groups for the most part were started by parents for parents to connect and share photos of big weekends. Questions about preparations for the weekends, and traditions of the school crop up frequently. It’s been my practice not to engage in dialogue about policies of the school. My son was the cadet, not me. I have on occasion tried to dispel rumors by consulting a primary source on campus, like a contact in the commandants office or a TAC officer.
Now that I am the mother of an Army officer I’ve learned about the OPSEC rules for social media. The Army also has a Facebook group called Army Operations Security (OPSEC). Posting too much identifying information on deployment dates, return dates, locations, etc. can endanger our troops. Anything a person posts to a social media site could be read by the members of that site and anyone those members may know and possibly people who intend to do harm.
There are basic rules of confidentiality between a therapist and client. It is also never a good idea to issue an opinion without having first hand knowledge of a situation. In other words if it didn’t happen to you directly, keep quiet. Be aware of the intent and membership of a group when you join and before you begin to post to it.
I don’t know the inner workings of The Citadel, but I have learned a few rules that I live by and pass along to other parents. Much of what happens knob year is learned one day at a time. First year cadets are kept in the dark and therefore it is easy for rumors to spread. If at any time a parent has a concern about something their cadet has told them, I encourage them to discuss it with the Ombudsperson’s office on campus. The cadets are encouraged to report problems through their chain of command, but they too can contact the Ombudsperson for advice and guidance confidentially.
A few tips: If a parent has a concern and just wants a fellow parent to talk to, the Citadel Family Association  volunteers are a good place to start. If it is a school policy question, call the Ombudsperson’s office. When The Citadel External Affairs office or other school sites post photos, pressing the like button is fine, but don’t raise your knob’s profile by posting gushing comments.
The dock behind the Boathouse on campus. My favorite spot.
Hell week is over at The Citadel and classes begin tomorrow. The knobs and other cadets will begin to fall into their regular routine. Along with the cadets, the parents will also find their new daily rhythm at home.
Brother and sister meet for the first time in months on Parent’s Weekend, 2007
For parents of the Class of 2016 that will most likely include checking the school photos each day to try to catch a glimpse of their knob. The parents of the Class of 2013 will be finalizing their travel plans for Parent’s Weekend which is also referred to as Ring Weekend since the qualified seniors receive their rings Friday afternoon then are presented at the Ring Ceremony Friday evening. Each day until Ring Weekend the knobs may be asked by seniors to tell them how many days until they receive their rings. There is a certain comfort in knowing the annual routine at The Citadel remains basically the same over the years. The timing of an event may change from one year to the next, but the basic flow remains the same.
Now that I am an Army mom I miss that routine and general flow of events. We are learning that life as an Army family doesn’t include predictable events. It is more like hurry up and wait then learn to adjust when orders change without warning. Dates are suggestions. Once you feel fairly certain of a date, like deployment or their return, you can’t share that with anyone.
I miss the routine and predictability of the school year at The Citadel. The anxiety I felt over Hell Week doesn’t compare to the fuzzy feeling in my stomach now that we are preparing for a deployment. Even though I know my son was prepared well for his new job as an Army officer, the emotions of sending a child to a dangerous area still catches up with me. I’ve learned not to fight the emotions. It is normal to feel emotional when a loved one will go into harms way. I just try not to let it over ride all the other feelings of pride, love, and joy over the person he has become.
One way I am dealing with this uncertainty is to help new families of Citadel cadets learn the ropes of what I know can seem like a foreign culture. I am also taking the Level II comedy writing class taught by Jeff Justice. Laughing is a great way to help deal with worry and anxiety. Our graduation show is August 27 at The Punchline Comedy Club in Sandy Springs. My routine from the Level I class was well received, hopefully I’ll control the butterflies and have a decent showing next week too.
Knobs and cadre members outside of Jenkins Hall Sunday afternoon.
I made it to another Matriculation Day at The Citadel, my 6th, 5th as a volunteer. Like most visits to the school it was a busy weekend. My tradition is to stop by Mark Clark Hall when I arrive in Charleston. I began to meet incoming families right away. The Gift Shop tends to be a place where all the new families visit when they come to campus.
One thing I didn’t realize before going to campus was the impact posting this blog would have on a broader audience. After my son’s graduation I decided to post the basic information I gave to the Georgia families each year during our orientation for new families. What I discovered this weekend is that I should never underestimate the research prowess of anxious parents! The advice I’ve been sharing with Georgia families is now online and available for anyone who searches the web for information on The Citadel. The end result was that this past weekend people I had never met called me by name to say hello.
The whole experience was a bit surreal. I’m an extrovert so meeting all the new families was really fun, but it just felt a bit strange and rewarding to know that my little blog actually reached the intended audience and helped a few people.
Volunteering during Matriculation Day and being the administrator of the Facebook group for parents of the class of 2016 is a good distraction for me right now too. My son will be deployed sometime later this year. Helping others is a great way to forget about your own anxieties.
I purchased a “Big Red” flag for my son and had his graduation year added. The alumni like to get their photo taken with the flag where ever they are stationed. Once I had the flag, a friend of my son held it by the company letter so I could send the photo to him as well.
“Big Red” in front of the Bravo Company letter in 1st Battalion. the day before Matriculation Day.
This first week for new knobs is tough on them, but judging by the posts of new parents I know it is hard on them too. In 2011 I wrote a blog entry for the blog site Off the Base titled, The Citadel: Year One A No Fly Zone for Hovering Parents. Most of what I wrote in 2011 still applies today.
There are a few other tips I’ll pass along to the new parents about this first year:
Each Cadet is different: Remember, each knob and each cadet will have their own a unique experience. During the first year the knobs learn to work together. BUT if you are friends with the family of an upperclassman, take their advice with a grain of salt no two cadets have the same experience. Each year the cadre change the companies each have their own traditions so no two years are the same and no two cadets have identical experiences.
That goes for my suggestions as well. I don’t have all the right answers. Much of this whole process is up to the individual cadet. Each family has to make their own decisions on how to proceed with mail, visits, etc.
Learn the citadel.edu web site: I posted a page called Helpful Web Links to this blog to help make it easier to find the sites viewed most by parents. It includes links to: the photo site that is updated just about daily this week; the Office the Commandant page, where you can find the Training schedules for each and every week and the PowerPoint Presentations the cadets will sit through; and many others. The A-Z  Site map and the regular search window on the upper right side of the home page are great tools to find the information you are looking for about the school.
Regarding Facebook: I know you miss your child. I was one of the parents trolling the photo website during Hell Week hoping for a glimpse of my knob too. Now that Facebook is such a big part of the social media scene, new parents should use restraint when posting to public sites like The Citadel External Affairs page and other Citadel related Facebook groups. They post great photos and information. You should join the page and keep an eye on it, but if you see your knob, don’t post comments. A knob wants to fly under the radar. If a parent starts gushing about their child on the public page it invites unwanted attention to the knob. The cadets and alumni are also part of the public pages. When you see a photo you like download it and repost it to your own Facebook page so your friends can see the photo and comment. Do join the page just for 2016 parents, Only new parents and a few parents of graduates are on the page.
Facebook friends from the Class of 2016 meet in person in Mark Clark Hall.
Questions/Concerns: Email and call your CFA company or battalion rep. If you are part of the Facebook group for new parents you can private message one of the parents of a graduate on the site. If it is a questions about policy of the school, call the Ombudsperson’s office they are available 24/7. They are a great first stop and will keep your call confidential if you’d like.
Phone calls/Email/Texts: The knobs will get their phones and computer access early next week. It can vary by company when they get the privileges back so don’t panic if you hear someone has heard from their cadet and you haven’t. They will not be able to answer the phone/email or text at will. If they do call and the call drops suddenly it is not a bad connection, don’t call them back. It most likely means a member of the cadre walked in the room and they had to hang up. Keep your calls encouraging. You may end up being the one person they complain to. Realize that most knobs will dump their frustrations to their family members leaving them to worry. They rarely let you know a situation has resolved. You are left to worry and they are dealing with whatever it was they complained about.
Mail/Food: They will get to go to their mail boxes when classes begin. Send positive, fun cards and letters. Small boxes of a food are always appreciated. The school has the US Postal Service send small flat rate boxes and labels to you. You can also get them for free at your local post office. TIP: The Priority Mail box #1096L is larger and still fits in their mail box. stuff it with protein snacks or whatever, THEN put it in a flat rate mailing envelope to save on postage.
Visits after Hell Week:Â The first time knobs can go off campus is most likely August 26. They may have up to 7 hours I say may because the leave is a privilege that can be revoked. This first day off campus is a terrific time for the knobs to bond off campus with their classmates. Most walk to town for a decent meal without the cadre present. Future weekends you can make plans to visit if that is what your family decides they want to do. As with everything else this year allow your knob to call the shots. They will let you know if a visit would help or if they want to spend time with their new classmates. You can send a gift card to the fast food places around campus, like Burger King, McDonald’s, and Hardee’s, or to the restaurants in town like Sticky Fingers, Moe’s and other casual restaurants.
Girlfriends: There is a Facebook group for girl friends of cadets. Request to join the closed group to meet other girlfriends by clicking this link. I haven’t found one for boyfriends.
Looking forward to Parents Weekend:Â The schedule is usually posted to the main website a few weeks prior to the weekend. It hasn’t changed much over the years, but do check it to see if they decided to change ties of the events from previous year. If you can, try to get to campus before 12 noon on Friday. The knobs have lunch with their senior mentors then they line to road in front of the barracks to cheer the graduating class as they march to the field house to receive their rings. It is fun to watch as the knobs chant the graduating class on. There is an academic open house and the knobs can usually leave with their families in the afternoon. The seniors get their rings then dash out of the field house and into their barracks to celebrate. They usually want the knobs to be out of the barracks before the seniors come in.
My son stares at a knob during the promotion ceremony. photo by Stanley Leary
The knobs of the Class of 2011 line the street to cheer on the seniors.
The Friday of Parents Weekend is HUGE deal for the seniors. They have waited three years to earn the right to wear THE ring. They receive them Friday afternoon and Friday night is the Ring presentation and Ring Hop. Knobs don’t attend the dance, but if you are on campus in the evening it is fun to see everyone dressed up. It is something to do sophomore and junior year when your cadet might be out with their buddies. My daughter and I picked up some ice cream and sat near the field house watching the mother’s and girlfriends walk by in their beautiful gowns.
Ring ceremony, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary.
See the few photo albums I have from my weekend at The Citadel here:
