cadetparentadvice - Dorie L. Griggs, M.Div.

April 25, 2012

The Citadel: Most Common Search Terms

I reviewed the statistics of this blog site today. In my early career I worked in sports information at the college level. The sports information director’s office, or commonly known as the SID office, keeps track of all the statistics for all the varsity sports at a college or university. Looking at stats and trying to interpret them holds a deep rooted fascination for me.

2011SG 2012BVA — The 2011 Summerall Guards run with the 2012 BVA's the Friday of Corps Day Weekend. photo by Stanley Leary.

When I looked at the search terms used to find the blog I found out of 389 known terms 104 of them related to the Summerall Guards or Bond Volunteer Aspirants. 94 terms had to do with knob year, matriculation day and/or recognition day. The other roughly 50% had to do with ROTC, general cadet life, and active duty military terms.

The fact that so many people searched for Summerall Guard information and knob year information isn’t too surprising. Both knob year and the Summerall Guards are activities at The Citadel surrounded with mystic and intrigue, mostly by design.

The 4th Class System is designed to make first year cadets learn to follow orders. The knobs are kept dependent on the upperclass cadets for information. Their first year is tough, but they learn to support their classmates and pull together as a team. The system has been in place for years with minor changes. While the knobs are going through their most challenging year their parents are often in the dark as well and end up turning to search engines and the collective knowledge of other parents to help them through.

By junior year some cadets decide to try out to be part of the elite silent drill squad, the Summerall Guards. The cadets who decide to do this are called Bond Volunteer Aspirants (BVA). They aspire to be Summerall Guards and voluntarily go through a very demanding training regiment. By junior year many of the BVA’s hold a high rank in the cadet chain of command which is like having a full-time job on top of a full-time course load. The BVA training is demanding both physically and mentally. It is not unusual for normally communicative cadets to have little communication with their families during this demanding year. All types of rules surround what knobs can and can’t know about the BVA’s and Summerall Guards which builds the mystic and fascination with the entire process.

Class of 2015 knobs and Cadre — Class of 2015 knobs head to lunch on Matriculation Day.

While quite different in their dynamics, knob year and BVA year are very similar. They are both bound by years of tradition and time-honored secrecy about the process. So it is not surprising that parents and friends turn to search engines to gain knowledge about both processes.

I’ve written about both knob year and the BVA/Summerall Guard process. Links to the most viewed blog entries and pages follow.

The Citadel: Preparing for Knob Year, Class of 2016

BVA’s and Summerall Guards: Cuts Day, Mardi Gras and Corps Day

Recognition Day the Best Day of the Year for Knobs

Information for Parents about the BVA’s and Summerall Guards

For Parents of BVA’s as you wait for Cuts Day

Special Weekends: Parents Weekend, Homecoming, Corps Day, Recognition Day

Matriculation Day: Getting Ready

April 10, 2012

The Citadel: Recognition Day and Graduation Gift ideas

4th Class cadets stroll down the sidewalk — Two very happy members of the Class of 2011 at the end of Recognition Day, 2008.

Four years ago after Recognition day for the Class of 2011, I was in the Gift Shop in Mark Clark Hall trying to decide on a gift for my son before we left town. While I was in front of the company t-shirt section several of his Bravo Company classmates walked in. They were there to buy themselves a company shirt. My hunch was right. After a year of being a knob buying items with your company logo on it is a right of passage for 4th Class Cadets. I threw in a company decal for good measure.

One privilege the 4th Class cadets can take advantage of is ordering food to be delivered. A gift card to their favorite would be appreciated.

You can’t really make a mistake when giving a cadet a present. They never really expect one in the first place. A few months ago I posted links to various places to find gifts for cadets in the post Finding Gifts for your Citadel Cadet.

Items from the gift shop with their company logo are great gifts for 4th Class Cadets, but any Citadel logo item is appreciated throughout their 4 years at the school.

For graduation a lasting gift is the Lifetime Membership to the Citadel Alumni Association(CAA). It is $400 for Junior and Senior cadets. The price increases to $500 the first year after graduation then it is $700 after that. The CAA also has a number of gift items for sale.

New Lifetime Member of the CAA — A new Lifetime member of the Citadel Alumni Association. The CAA hosts a nice luncheon and presentation ceremony the day before graduation. photo by Stanley Leary

A diploma frame is a great gift. The diploma frames at the gift shop range in price from $180 – 205 and includes the school name and/or seal. That may sound expensive, it really is the going price to have something mounted and framed.

Some parents have given a case for their seniors sword. You can find them at the gift shop or a variety of online military supply outlets.

The Citadel Gift Shop carries a nice variety of gifts and jewelry.

The online store of Carolina Cadets offers cadet themed ornaments and nutcrackers. (She is offline now but will be back in 2015)

If your cadet will be serving in a branch of the military a gift appropriate to that branch is also a good idea.

Please share your gift ideas and web links in the comment section.

Summerall Guard Nutcracker from Carolina Cadets.

Carolina Cadet Ornament — Carolina Cadet Christmas ornament.

April 9, 2012

Social Media for Military Families

Army Comissioning — Army ROTC cadets at The Citadel take their oath at the commissioning ceremony the day before graduation, May 2011. photo by Stanley Leary

I am still learning about being the mom of a new second lieutenant in the U.S. Army. Since my son is so busy in his new role, and because he has never been one to provide a lot of details, much of what I learn comes from web searches. The past few years I have also cultivated friends who are veterans of various branches of the U.S. Army.

One friend who is a fellow Citadel parent and a retired Army officer suggested I subscribe to a news source called Stand-To!: A daily compendium of news, information, and context for Army leaders. This site is helpful for getting a glimpse into the latest updates from the U.S. Army.

For general information and support several web sites are helpful. Goarmyparents. com was started as a personal blog of an Army mom. The site features forums, articles, pay charts, military lingo and a weekly chat.

The closed Facebook group, Army Moms, is a terrific place to connect with other Army moms to receive support and learn from the members there. You need to send a request to join the group.

Army Officers Friends and Family Support is a group that formed after LDAC 2010 (Leader Development Assessment Course). Each year the Public Affairs Office at Joint Base Lewis McCord do a great job of keeping friends and family updated about what happens at LDAC, including the address to send letters, scheduling of the exercises, etc. The LDAC 2012 Facebook page is here. Check the About page for links to their blog, photos and Twitter account.

I found the Airborne School Facebook page very helpful while our son was there. They post updates on the jumps and graduation information. Maps area available on their photo page.

Air Force Commissioning — Dorie and her daughter congratulate Citadel cadet, soon to be Air Force officer, Justin Wilson, right before his commissioning ceremony. May 2011 photo by Stanley Leary

Milblogging.com is an internet database for organizing military blogs. a great place to spend time to learn from the contributors about their experiences.

An extensive list of Facebook groups for the U.S. military can be found on their official pages:

U.S. Air Force Social Media

U.S. Army on Social Media

U.S. Coast Guard Media Outlets

U.S. Marine Corps Social Media

U.S. Navy Social Media Directory

You can also go to the Topics section of WordPress and enter the military topic you are interested in to find blog posts. I’ve contributed to the military blog site, Off the Base for over a year. The site is maintained by Bobbie O’Brien of WUSF Public Media in Tampa, FL.

Armor BOLC graduation at the Maneuver Center of Excellence Building at Ft. Benning. photo by Stanley Leary.

Please take a minute and post links to the military social media groups you find helpful.

Airborne Graduation — Airborne School graduation. November 2011. photo by Stanley Leary

April 1, 2012

Atlanta Citadel Club: 2012 Annual Muster

For the past three years I served as the chair of the Georgia Citadel Parents Group. As the chair, I was the liaison with the local alumni club and attended several of their gatherings. The Atlanta Citadel Club is a great group of alumni who are very dedicated to the school and interested in nurturing current cadets as they progress through the school. The alumni members always make me feel welcome to the gatherings.

This past week’s annual Muster was no different. The event was held at a local restaurant. According to the alumni association website, “The first annual Citadel Alumni Muster was held in 1998. It was an Alumni Association initiative designed to facilitate an annual coming together of all alumni of the institution, with the purpose of recognizing those in the long gray line of the South Carolina Corps of Cadetswho have passed away during the preceding year.”

MichaelEscoeandFlags — Michael Escoe, '73, leads the Annual Muster of the Atlanta Citadel Club, March 29, 2012.

I arrived on the early side to register and say hello before the formal program began. At the designated time the club president, Andy Frey, announced it was time to go outside for the Muster, led by David Robertson, ’90 playing the bagpipes. The gathering was held on a green in the center of a restaurant complex where they had a nice gazebo surrounded by a grassy area. Restaurants with outdoor seating surrounds the gazebo area. I can only guess that their patrons wondered what was going on as 30+ alumni and guests gathered in the space.

Michael Escoe, ’73, club Vice President, led the program. After he read the names of Deceased Alumni from Georgia from the past year, David Robertson played Amazing Grace on his bagpipes as the attendees observed a time of silent remembrance. I was struck by the contrast of the restaurant and traffic noises in the background and the beautiful sound of the bagpipes. The list of 15 names included graduates from the Class of 1941 to the Class of 2007. I read over their names again praying for their families and friends. Once the song was finished we recited the Cadet Prayer followed by The Alma Mater.

MichaelEscoeBagpipes — Michael Escoe reads the names of the Georgia alumni who passed in the last year. David Robertson, '90 waits to play Amazing Grace on the bagpipes.

The rest of the evening was a good-natured gathering of friends new and old. I ran into some recent graduates who know my son, and met many new friends. I am grateful for this group of graduates who helped me greatly the past several years in my quest to understand cadets who take “the road less traveled.” It is not the choice I made for my college experience, but I’ve gained a deep appreciation for the students who take on the challenge.

March 28, 2012

The Citadel: An odd place to find my calling

When my oldest son decided he wanted to attend The Citadel, little did I know I’d find my calling too.

During Corps Day weekend, March 16 – 18, I had the opportunity to meet parents that I’ve only corresponded with on Facebook or through this blog. A few wondered how I came to write the blog. The simple answer is, I learned a lot the past 4 years and if I can help someone else through the process I’m happy to do so.

I don’t pretend for a minute to have all the answers. Any number of parents of a current cadets and graduates can answer most of the questions that I’m asked.

Sometimes in life you find yourself in a unique position to help others. I believe God is using my background in public relations, chaplaincy and interfaith dialogue, to be a caring presence for the parents of cadets.

March 21, 2012

2012 Corps Day Weekend, Part 2: Paying it forward

Corps Day Weekend 2012 for me was about visiting friends and paying forward the kindness that was extended to my son during his four years at The Citadel. So many families hosted him for meals and visits. They helped in ways I’m sure I am not even aware of. Since my friends couldn’t join me for the weekend for a reunion I decided I go anyway and try to pass along a few kindnesses.

After a full morning of visiting the barracks, the band concert, watching the 2013 Summerall Guards then the parade, I was ready to go to lunch. I had made plans to meet a Georgia cadet at 5th Battalion. After four years of waiting outside 1st Battalion for our cadet this was a whole new experience. 5th Battalion, or Stevens Barracks, is home to Palmetto Battery, Papa Company and Sierra Company. Several Georgia cadets are in each company so I could visit with their parents and meet new friends. At one point the knobs of Palmetto Battery were marched into the barracks. Several minutes later they ran out in the PT (physical training uniform) to return later pulling the canons used for the parades. It is a ritual that happens every day after a parade, but one I had never seen before. I recognized a few of the knobs as the ones I met earlier at the band concert dressed in the various uniforms from previous conflicts. I hope their parents will see the photos I took of their cadets in those uniforms.

My young cadet friend, Cadet Lee, emerged from the barracks in his dress white uniform. It is a favorite uniform among parents. The cadets tell me they prefer it over the wool ones as well. After touching base with my friend, Jerri, we headed to The Marina Variety Store for lunch. I’ve mentioned this restaurant before. It sits right on the Ashley River off of Lockwood Blvd. I like it there because you can park for free, the food is great the staff is nice and the view is great. Our time over lunch flew by as we heard stories from Cadet Lee and Jerri’s son, Cadet Rodgers, two very sharp young men.

One of the highlights of my weekend came after dropping off Cadet Lee. On the way off of campus I saw two knobs looking like they might need a ride. I introduced myself as the mom of a graduate and asked if I could help. They were very polite but said they had to go a distance to their home and a cab was on the way. The real fun began when i asked what company they are in. They replied. “Bravo Ma’am.” I then told them my son, Nelson Lalli was in Bravo Company. They looked at each other than looked at me in disbelief. They said they knew of “Mr. Lalli” and that he is a legend in Bravo Company. With that I told them to cancel the cab, I would take them to their home. The 20 minute ride was filled with knob stories and them telling me what they had heard about my son. They also spoke about the current cadet command of Bravo Company most of whom I have known since their knob year. I smiled as they referred to each one as Mr. The two knobs seemed to be making the best of their first year. We laughed as we exchanged stories. I made a note to myself to try and keep up with these two young cadets as they progress in their time at The Citadel.

I spent a little time walking along the beach on Isle of Palms that afternoon. My next stop was the Boating Center on the campus. It is one of my favorite spots on campus to visit. The contrast of the tranquility of the dock and marsh compared to the intense environment of the rest of the campus is striking.

My next fun pay it forward moment came as I was leaving campus. I saw a group of cadets outside 2nd Battalion. It looked like they were arranging for a ride off campus. When I stopped and go tout of the car I realized I knew one of them. I ended up driving 5 cadets to downtown Charleston in my little Toyota Corolla. The ride was fun as I met the 4 cadets who were with my friend Wei-Ming. All five of them are from Taiwan and will go back into service with a branch of the Taiwanese military after graduation.

My last morning was spent sharing brunch with another Georgia cadet. The same cadet I brought a care package to Saturday morning. We had corresponded via Facebook last summer as he prepared to report, but had not really spent any time talking. It was fun to hear of his plans for the future and to learn about how his first year was progressing. Spring break is coming up and shortly after that will be Recognition Day. I could hear the excitement in his voice as he talked about Recognition Day.

The weekend ended with my traditional last stop at Mark Clark Hall and a spin through the Gift shop. I was stopped by two families in town to look at the school for their high school student. They had a few questions for a parent. As I spoke to each family I was reminded of our first visit to campus the summer of 2006.

Each cadet has their own path at The Citadel. Each family will develop their own rituals when they visit. I am grateful for the many families who hosted our son during his time there. I hope on future visits I’ll be able to continue to pay the kindness our son received during his time at the school forward to current cadets.

March 21, 2012

2012 Corps Day Weekend, Part 2: Paying it forward

March 19, 2012

2012 Corps Day Weekend, Part 1

I traveled to Charleston for what was originally going to be a little reunion with a couple of the Citadel Ya Ya friends. Due to work responsibilities both mom’s had to cancel, but I went anyway. I am so glad I did! I had a fun weekend of catching up with current parents and cadets. Plus it was a gorgeous weekend.

My tradition the past four years when we had a cadet in school at The Citadel continued this weekend. The first stop is Mark Clark Hall for a rest break and a trip through the Gift Shop. Unlike the past four years I didn’t call my cadet to let him know we arrived safely. I began my visits with staff on campus with a trip to the Army ROTC office then the commandants office just to say hello and catch them up on how our new second lieutenant is doing.

Visiting with Susie Maghakian in Deas Hall. — Visiting with Susie Maghakian in Deas Hall

The next stop was to Deas Hall to see Susie Maghakian the staff person who handles donations to The Citadel Heroes Project. Along the way I ran into two Citadel Family Association volunteers and friends. The next mailing to deployed cadets and graduates is coming up and I wanted to make a financial donation to help with the cost of the mailing. If you’d like to send in a donation see this link.

I wasn’t sure what it would be like to visit the campus on my own with no particular schedule. It turned out to be a really fun weekend with a few pleasant surprises along the way. Before the Friday parade I stopped by 1st Battalion to see who I might run into from Bravo Company. It was so fun to catch up with the parents of current seniors and other families I’ve some to know.

I shared dinner with two senior cadets from Delta Company. It was such a treat to go into two with these two bright young women. The dinner conversation was very different, in a good way, with women cadets rather than a group of guys. After parking along Church Street we walked to the Charleston Crab House for a delicious dinner and a few fun photos.

Saturday of Corps Day the barracks are open to families and friends. Before the trip I arranged to meet a first year knob from Georgia to deliver a care package to the barracks. During Open Barracks family and friends can bring in food and supplies without any problem of raising the awareness of the cadre.

The next stop was the parade field to secure a good spot to watch the Summerall Guards exchange rifles. My son, a member of the 2011 Summerall Guards, passed his rifle to a fellow cadet in Bravo Company. This year that senior cadet passed the same rifle to another Bravo cadet. It is a very moving ceremony. I wanted to be sure to take photos so my son could see his friends with the rifle they each can now claim. I also took a lot of photos of another Bravo cadet from Texas. His parents couldn’t be there so I stood in and took photos for them.

I checked YouTube this morning to see if the videos have started to appear. As of this writing I found two videos of the 2013 Summerall Guards. One is very short of the 2012 and 2013 Summerall Guards starting out on their battalion run. The second is a little shaky of the first performance of the 2013 Summerall Guards. As I met parents of the 2013 Summerall Guards I encouraged them to exchange email addresses with each other to make sharing information, photos and videos easier throughout the next year. Throughout the performance I took lots of photos.

Between the ceremony and the Saturday parade I caught up with a dear friend , fellow Georgia Citadel parent and Army wife, Jerri Rodgers. Her son is in the Regimental Band and Pipes. The Corps Day performance is a tribute to soldiers from throughout our history. As a selection is played a cadet dressed in a period uniform steps forward. All was going just fine until they reached the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. The music was beautiful, but when the cadet stepped forward wearing uniforms my son is wearing now. A lump formed in my throat. Jerri must have sensed my emotions because she reached over and took my hand. The tears started rolling down my cheeks before I could pull myself together. In a few short month my second lieutenant will be in Afghanistan. While I can talk about his deployment and not become emotional, the sound of the band playing a solemn song coupled with two cadets in Army uniforms brought on emotions I must be keeping deep inside.

I pulled myself together and prepared to watch the second parade of the weekend. I took even more photos and caught up with more friends, including graduates who were in town to visit too.

The afternoon and evening were also a lot of fun, but I’ll save those stories for the next entry.

March 7, 2012

Where we dine when visiting The Citadel

A year or so ago I posted this question on Facebook,”What is your favorite Charleston restaurant.” A wide variety of friends chimed in with their favorites.

Like everything else, if you ask 5 different people this question you will get 5 different answers. To get the conversation started here I’ll list some of our favorite places to visit when we are in town.

Marina Variety Store Restaurant This restaurant is near the campus, right on Lockwood Blvd. They serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They have a terrific menu, and is right on the river at the Charleston Marina. Great food at a good price and it is a casual restaurant. We eat here for Sunday brunch before driving home.

The Wreck Right on the river off of Shem creek. Extremely casual, with paper table clothes and plastic utensils. The food is off the boat fresh. Check their operating hours and get there right when they open.

Virginia’s On King – Not far from Marion Square, Very good Southern cooking.

Jestine”s Kitchen – a traditional spot for tourists to visit. The food is good, but expect a wait.

Charleston Crab House on James Island – Great location with none of the parking hassles of downtown Charleston. The food is consistently good. We went here with 30 people on Ring Weekend.

Vendue Rooftop – a great view, live entertainment.

Tommy Condon’s– A Irish pub with good food and atmosphere.

Sticky Fingers – A great place for barbecue and wings. Several locations.

Melvin’s – Not too far from campus terrific barbecue.

West Ashley Crab Shack – across the river from The Citadel campus. We’ve never had to wait for a table and have enjoyed all the meals we’ve eaten here. A good place to go for seafood without the parking hassle and crowds of in town.

Hominy Grill – An award-winning restaurant. We ate brunch here the Friday of Ring Weekend. The restaurant is close to campus.

Ye Old Fashioned Ice Cream & Sandwich Cafe – We stop at the location just over the bridge from The Citadel once each visit. The ice cream is great, but the sandwiches and salads are too.

Poe’s Tavern On Sullivan’s Island. A great pub with terrific burgers and sandwiches.

My friends favorites:

SNOB (Slightly North of Broad)

82 Queen

Rita’s

Poogan’s Porch

For a good listing of Charleston area restaurants visit the Charleston Area Convention and Visitors Bureau “Where to Dine” web site. A number of websites give reviews on area restaurant’s. Fodor’s is just one I check.

Please leave your tips in the comment section of this entry.

March 2, 2012

Finding a place to stay in Charleston

My son’s knob year I looked at hotels.com to find an affordable hotel in the Charleston area for Matriculation Day and Parents Weekend. I had never been to Charleston and didn’t know the area. We were budget conscious, but at the same time we didn’t want to stay in a bad area of town. The first few visits we stayed at properties that were a little higher in price, but were also well-known chains.

BravoCadreParentsWeekend2009 — The Cadre of Bravo Company lead push ups during the promotions ceremony Parents Weekend, 2009.

After talking with other parents on our visits I picked up a few tips. If I had this information earlier we could have saved a good bit of money. Learning this one tip took me from the decent AAA discounts to the DEEP discounts I enjoyed for the final 3 years.

BestWesternDowntownCharleston — Sunset over the Ashley River as seen from the Best Western Downtown Charleston balcony.

So here is The Tip: when making hotel reservations, call the hotel directly and ask if they offer a special rate for Citadel families. The following hotels are all near campus and may offer discounted rates for Citadel families, but they fill up quickly and you need to call them directly and ask if they have rooms available at the discounted rate for Citadel families. Charleston Marriott, Best Western Charleston Downtown, Courtyard Charleston Marriott, SpringHill Suites Charleston, LaQuinta Inn & Suites Charleston Riverview, Comfort Inn

A very industrious hotel general manager found our Facebook group for Georgia Parents several years ago and offered us a special rate at the Hawthorn Suites, a great property about 7 miles from campus that offers a 2 room suite with kitchen facilities, an indoor pool, and a full breakfast in the lobby each morning. They still offer discounts to all Citadel families if you call the hotel directly in advance and rooms are available.

Every hotel I’ve stayed in: the Embassy Suites in North Charleston, Best Western Charleston Downtown, SpringHill Suites Charleston, LaQuinta Inn & Suites Charleston Riverview, and the Courtyard Charleston Marriott, and the Hampton Inn & Suites Charleston/West Ashley, have laundry facilities for your cadet to use while off campus visiting with you. Be sure to have plenty of quarters and your own detergent.

Charleston is known for its wonderful restaurants, historic inns and beautiful luxury hotels. For an overview of all that Charleston has to offer, you can visit the Charleston Area Convention and Visitors Bureau (CACVB) website. The CACVB website is also a great place to visit if you are looking for help in booking function space for a graduation party, Ring Weekend celebration or other big event.

EmbassySuitesHistoricCharleston — Recognition Day, April 2008. Embassy Suites-Historic Charleston in the background.

A few families with RV’s have found camp grounds in the area they like to frequent. A number of families like to rent homes or condos by the beach when they visit. VRBO.com is a good place to start to find a rental property.

If you have tips, or a favorite hotel or rental company you like to through, please leave a note in the comments section of this entry.

(unless of course you want to keep your special place a secret)