The Citadel cadets are making their way back to campus today for the final push toward their winter furlough. I went through some old emails today and found one I had sent to the parents in Georgia when my son was a senior. A couple of paragraphs from that letter about the furlough and returning second semester still apply today. . .
“It will be hard for them to leave home to report back to school after a week at home, but Christmas Furlough will only be a few weeks off. In the few weeks leading up to the Christmas Furlough the cadets have other traditions like decorating the Barracks, “borrowing” the trees from other companies (cadets don’t steal) and singing Christmas Carols. See this link for a Christmas Carol video.
And just a heads up about second semester. . . After a month at home it is very hard, even for the most dedicated knob, to return to The Citadel. It is cold, dark, and they just had several weeks of comforts at home. If your cadet calls home and seems particularly down and questions their choice of school, this is totally normal. Encourage them to remember why they decided to attend this school and encourage them to do their best. It won’t be long before the weather gets better and they are that much closer to the biggest day in the life of a cadet, Recognition Day.”
Bonnie Ashley has received over 30 boxes this week of clothing and other donations for children of her school district and the areas surrounding the district. Some of their families lost everything. The call went out on Facebook and through this blog and The Citadel family went into action.
The latest word from Bonnie is that gifts of Home Depot gift cards are now needed. They will be used by families who are entering the long recovery process. If you’d like to send donations of Home Depot gift cards, please send them to:
Bonnie Ashley
2629 Ricky Street
Bellmore, NY 11710
Bonnie’s son, Jordan is a senior in Charlie Company at The Citadel, is spearheading an effort to raise funds on campus for the recovery effort. The money raised will go toward providing Home Depot gift cards to families in Breezy Point who are rebuilding. You can make donations through the PayPal account: [email protected]
In the midst of her efforts to aid the victims of super storm Sandy, Bonnie has reached out to me by baking cookies for my Citadel grad son who recently deployed to the Middle East.
Can you believe you have made it this far in the semester? By now your vocabulary should include quite a few new terms specific to The Citadel. You should have a level of comfort with your new normal as parents of a cadet.
In the next week your knob will experience their first Thanksgiving dinner Citadel style. The cadets will gather in the mess hall for a family style Thanksgiving dinner. The highlights of the night are the hats made for upperclass cadets by their mentees. Juniors are given hats made of a sheet of poster board and resemble a stove-pipe decorated with the upperclass cadet in mind. The seniors hats can be very elaborate. My sons senior year his mentee made a hat that looked like a tank in honor of his news of being in the Armor branch of the Army. Knobs wear an Indian style head-dress with one construction paper feather and the sophomores wear a similar head-dress with two feathers. Watch for the photos. Each company has a few other traditions that evening. The stories and photos are a lot of fun to hear when they get home.
The tank hat had a working gun in the front that shot out fireworks.
Speaking of home. . . usually parents of knobs are very anxious to have their son or daughter home for a whole week. The knobs are anxious to be home too. Just remember they will also be looking forward to seeing their friends from home. The experience varies for each cadet. Many enjoy seeing their friends, but begin to see just how different their college experience is from their friends. Some feel very different and can’t relate as well to friends who went right to work or are attending a non-military school.
While they have to keep their rooms at The Citadel in decent order those organizational skills don’t always transfer home with them. Don’t be surprised if their room at home looks like a small bomb exploded.
This can also be a time when they begin to question their choice of school, if they haven’t yet. If this happens with your cadet remind them they are almost done with the first semester and they can make it to the Christmas break. Some cadets decide that after first semester they do not want to continue at a military school for the rest of their college career. Others are more determined than ever to stick it out to prove to themselves they can make it. You know your child better than anyone and will have to decide how to proceed if they bring up the subject of changing schools.
If you need help with transportation post a notice to one of the many parent groups on Facebook. You can also call the Cadet Activities office to see if they can help with ride share requests.
Above all else, enjoy your time together. You’ve all accomplished quite a bit in a few short months.
Can you believe you have made it this far in the semester? By now your vocabulary should include quite a few new terms specific to The Citadel. You should have a level of comfort with your new normal as parents of a cadet.
In the next week your knob will experience their first Thanksgiving dinner Citadel style. The cadets will gather in the mess hall for a family style Thanksgiving dinner. The highlights of the night are the hats made for upperclass cadets by their mentees. Juniors are given hats made of a sheet of poster board and resemble a stove-pipe decorated with the upperclass cadet in mind. The seniors hats can be very elaborate. My sons senior year his mentee made a hat that looked like a tank in honor of his news of being in the Armor branch of the Army. Knobs wear an Indian style head-dress with one construction paper feather and the sophomores wear a similar head-dress with two feathers. Watch for the photos. Each company has a few other traditions that evening. The stories and photos are a lot of fun to hear when they get home.
The tank hat had a working gun in the front that shot out fireworks.
Speaking of home. . . usually parents of knobs are very anxious to have their son or daughter home for a whole week. The knobs are anxious to be home too. Just remember they will also be looking forward to seeing their friends from home. The experience varies for each cadet. Many enjoy seeing their friends, but begin to see just how different their college experience is from their friends. Some feel very different and can’t relate as well to friends who went right to work or are attending a non-military school.
While they have to keep their rooms at The Citadel in decent order those organizational skills don’t always transfer home with them. Don’t be surprised if their room at home looks like a small bomb exploded.
This can also be a time when they begin to question their choice of school, if they haven’t yet. If this happens with your cadet remind them they are almost done with the first semester and they can make it to the Christmas break. Some cadets decide that after first semester they do not want to continue at a military school for the rest of their college career. Others are more determined than ever to stick it out to prove to themselves they can make it. You know your child better than anyone and will have to decide how to proceed if they bring up the subject of changing schools.
If you need help with transportation post a notice to one of the many parent groups on Facebook. You can also call the Cadet Activities office to see if they can help with ride share requests.
Above all else, enjoy your time together. You’ve all accomplished quite a bit in a few short months.
Family Day at Fort Stewart, Oct. 2012 photo by Stanley Leary
It’s been a busy month for me. Most of it related to things other than The Citadel or Army mom involvement.We are very close to the deployment date of my oldest son so staying busy is a good thing. I find I am choking up or tearing up at odd times throughout the week.
We did attend his going away party in early October and then visited Fort Stewart for the Casing of the Colors ceremony and family day. I wrote about that experience for the military blog site Off the Base.
Some fun with family at the pre-deployment party. Quite a contrast to the photo at the top of the entry.
There are so many thoughts going through my mind it is hard to decide what to write about now. So much of it is extremely personal. I am an extrovert so many times what is in my head pops out of my mouth with very little screening. In this situation, however, I am more guarded about what I share with a nameless faceless readership.
Fortunately I can channel my anxiety into projects that help not only my son and his battalion but other military families and military families in training at The Citadel.
For the senior Army ROTC cadets at The Citadel it is a time of anticipation. They received their branch notices at a meeting recently. Their parents are now researching the next steps, including what BOLC means. The training for young officers is called Basic Officer Leadership Course or BOLC and is pronounced bullock. Our son attended Armor BOLC at Ft. Benning. The courses for the various branches of service are taught at bases throughout the country. If you have a cadet at The Citadel you can resource with other military parents through the Facebook group, Military parents of The Citadel. Most likely someone there will know something about the BOLC your cadet will go to after graduation.
If you or someone you know is a cadet or graduate of The Citadel and is currently deployed, make sure The Citadel Heroes Project has their APO/FPO address. You can contact Susie Maghakian with the name and address. Her contact information is below. This group of volunteers sends care packages to deployed cadets and grads a few times a year. They rely on the families to send the addresses. They have an immediate need for personal care items, including items for female soldiers, for the boxes that will be packed November 10 and financial support to cover postage. Items received after November 10 will still be sent out to the soldiers. Make checks payable to: The Citadel Heroes Project
Please send your donations to:
Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 171 Moultrie Street, The Citadel Station, Charleston, SC 29409
or if you are sending items via UPS or other carrier use the physical address on campus:
Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 201 Richardson Ave, 171 Moultrie Street, Charleston, SC 29409
Phone: 843-953-5815
Care packages ready to be shipped to deployed cadets and graduates of The Citadel.
There are many nonprofit organizations that support the troops throughout the year. One organization I volunteer with is the Military Families Ministry. Co-founder, Tracie Ciambotti, is also a contributor to the blog Off the Base. She wrote a book called Battles of The Heart for new Army families.
This past August I enrolled in the Level II Comedy Writing Class taught by Jeff Justice. It was just one more way for me to stay busy and positive as we face the first deployment of our oldest son. In the routine I joked about Army Moms and their cell phones. During a deployment they keep them on their person at all times. Just today I was reflecting on how our life will be the next nine months. I imagine there will be times when I tick someone off on line at the grocery store or at an event when I answer my phone at an inappropriate time. I will not apologize if this happens.
The Family Readiness Group leadership at Ft. Stewart will send the contact information soon for anyone who would like to support our battalion while they are deployed. We already know they will need hand warmers, packets of hot chocolate and instant coffee, protein foods, and baby wipes. I’ll post the address to send donations when they send it to us.
Remember, if you are the parents of a deployed soldier it is completely normal and expected to be more emotional while they are deployed. If you do not have a family member in the military, but know someone who does, remember to check in with them and ask how they would like to be supported during this time.
This past week was a mixed bag of activity and emotions. Each fall I work on a project for a nonprofit education organization, the Georgia Partnership for Excellence in Education. Last week I had to travel to Athens, GA to go over hotel and conference center arrangements for the trip. It was special meeting though.
I wasn’t meeting with just any conference center sales person. My contact there is a friend I have known for most of my life. We grew up in the same small northern New Jersey town, went to school and church together and participated in many of the same activities over the years.
March 1989. Elizabeth and Dorie with baby Nelson.
Years later Elizabeth moved to Atlanta after I had been here a few years. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, then later died, Elizabeth was there to support and comfort me. I was pregnant with my first baby during this time. Elizabeth and her husband, Ron, were the first visitors to the hospital when my oldest son was born. Later when my husband’s position in a hotel in Texas didn’t work out, Elizabeth flew out and drove my car back to Georgia for me. I was pregnant with our second son at the time.
So last week as I drove to Athens I began to remember all the times this life long friend was there to help me during some of the worst, and some of the happiest, times of my life. As I drove along I found myself choking up. It won’t be long until my first-born son will be deployed to Afghanistan. There I was about to see the one friend who, by the grace of God, has been near by at my most difficult life moments.
You see, Elizabeth is one of the most loyal of friends and compassionate people I know. She is the type of friend you can go months or years not seeing, but pick up right where you left off when you do talk. She is very bright, witty, extremely smart, and creative. And she is a Navy spouse. Her husband, Ron, is a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy. When I am around Elizabeth I feel more energized, I also feel at home.
Our meeting and property tour went as most do, but with a special time to visit over lunch. When I arrived at the conference center the emotions around the pending deployment of my son that had choked me up during the trip just disappeared. The joy of being in the company of a good friend totally overwhelmed the anxiety of sending a child to war.
This next year I think I’ll make more trips to Athens.
June 2011. Dorie and Elizabeth visit in Oconee County, GA.
When I was 13 years old my brother gave me The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Years later my oldest son became interested in the tales of J.R.R. Tolkien. The books involve a tale of the One Ring that controls the others.
Years later I was struck at the similarities and differences between the One Ring and The Ring the senior cadets at The Citadel receive their senior year. The One Ring is one of power over people. The Citadel ring that a graduate wears is also one of power. The Citadel ring’s strength is in the power of friendship forged through the tough training the cadets endure over their four years. The power of The Citadel ring goes beyond the graduates and in many cases influences the families of the one who wears the ring.
One of the most moving accounts of the bond forged by the graduates who wear the ring is told by Pat Conroy. He told this story in his book, My Losing Season, and he also told the story in his commencement address in 2001. I can’t read the story without tears welling up in my eyes. Talk to many graduates and their families and they can tell you their own story of the Ring. In her book In the Company of Men, Nancy Mace details her father’s story of recovering his lost ring in the swampy fields of Vietnam.
Two weeks from now the Class of 2013 will receive their rings. It is a huge weekend for seniors and their families. My son used to say that the ring, and what it symbolizes, is more important to him than his diploma. Everyone who graduates from a college or university gets a diploma. Not everyone can earn the right to wear The Citadel Ring.
Over the past five years I have had the privilege to see what the power of this ring can do. As the chair of the Georgia Citadel Parents Group for a few years I had the honor of witnessing the kindness of the members of the Atlanta Citadel Club when they heard a cadet was in need. One had trouble meeting the out-of-state tuition and was helped by a graduate. Another family had a crisis and weren’t sure they could get their cadet home, the alumni offered to pay for a flight. If a knob needed a ride back to campus from Georgia I just posted the need and within minutes offers to help would pour in.
This giving nature also applies to the families of the cadets. A family suffered the death of a grandparent. Their cadet couldn’t afford to travel to the funeral. A ticket arrived in the mail paid for by another family who heard of their need. When a cadet or graduate is deployed the moral support for the family of the soldier pours in.
Each year cadets and graduates are sent overseas to war. When one Citadel Mom learned that current cadets were going to war she founded The Citadel Heroes Project. Volunteers donate items and cards that are sent to the deployed cadets and graduates a few times a year. It is a huge effort that means so much to the recipients.
A young graduate died just months after graduation and before he reported to his first duty station. The roommate of the deceased was left behind to tie up the loose ends. A few of us attended the memorial service in Summerall Chapel. I was asked to read a poem during the service on behalf of the Citadel Family Association. A few of us moms learned it was difficult for the surviving roommate to go to the mail box each day and see mail to his deceased classmate/roommate/good friend. The Citadel Moms each took a week and sent baked goods gift cards for coffee shops and food. For eight weeks the surviving roommate went to his mailbox to find these gifts of love and support from his Citadel Moms.
Recently it was brought to the attention of a group of alumni that a few seniors, due to a number of circumstances, couldn’t afford to pay off the balance on their rings. Within a matter of hours alumni of all types, young and old, male and female, came together to donate the money needed to pay off the rings for these deserving seniors. When parents of current cadets and graduates heard of this effort, they too wanted to help. It was an amazing show of support by the members of The Citadel family. On October 12 the qualified cadets will receive their rings with the rest of their class.
Wearing the ring is something I will never experience. It was my son and his classmates that proved they were worthy of the honor of joining the Long Gray Line of graduates. They are family, not just classmates. I can tell you being a family member of the person who wears the ring makes you part of their extended Citadel family.
Pat Conroy used the sentence “I wear the ring.” in The Lords of Discipline to summarize the importance of his time at The Citadel and the bond he shares with others who wear the ring. The cadets who went through the rigors of the 4th Class System understand that sentence differently than any one else who reads it.
The parents and family members of the cadets and graduates can only get glimpses of what it means.
Bravo ’11 wear the ring. Photo by Stanley LearyA group of friends who met through their cadets time at The Citadel. photo by Stanley Leary
Since posting the information on Parents/Ring Weekend a week or so ago, I have heard from a few hotels with updated information. For most hotels in the Charleston area you can call directly and ask for their Citadel rate. A few hotels have provided me with direct links to get special discounts. Please book mark this site and share the link to this entry with your friends.
See the links and notes below for the updated list.
Charleston MarriottMake your reservation through this link for a special discounted rate.
Comfort Inn Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. They also offer a frequent guest program. Be sure to ask about it at the desk at check in.
Knobs line the street Friday afternoon. The seniors will process between them on their way to receive their rings in the field house.
Only four weeks until Parents Weekend at The Citadel. I won’t be attending the events, but I am in touch with quite a few parents who are looking forward to October 12. Parents of knobs can’t wait to visit their knob and see the barracks and the other activities on campus. The senior parents, especially the moms, are getting ready to see their cadet receive their hard-earned ring and walk through the giant replica of the ring Friday night.
Bravo Company banner, 2007.
Knob parents:
Parking is hard to find so get to campus early and plan to walk a lot.
If you can, arrive early enough on Friday to see the knobs line the street in front of the barracks. The seniors will walk between the knobs on their way to receive their rings. he knobs cheer them on as they pass by.
Friday afternoon belongs to the seniors. You are encouraged to visit the academic departments with your knob then take them off campus for the afternoon and evening.
Be sure to pay special attention to the company banner Saturday morning. The knobs work very hard to make sure the banner looks great. There are also bulletin boards to take note of as well.
Make lunch plans for Saturday. You can eat in the Coward Mess hall with your cadet and will need a ticket. You can purchase them in advance or on Friday afternoon through the Cadet Activities office. Boxed lunches are also available or you can bring your own lunch.
Bravo Company banner, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
Bulletin board recognizing the one 2011 Summerall Guard member in Bravo Company. photo by Stanley Leary
The promotion ceremony, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
The Ring Presentation ceremony begins. 2010 photo by Stanley Leary
Senior parents:
If you can arrive Thursday evening so you can get to campus early on Friday. The parking as on most big weekends is tight.
Dress for the afternoon should be in keeping with the occasion. The cadets are in their most formal uniform. You will see people in a variety of different types of clothes. a Jacket and tie for the gentlemen and a dress or nice slacks for the ladies is appropriate. Again you’ll see families in a variety of different clothes Friday afternoon.
Friday evening plans will revolve around when your cadets company is scheduled to go through the ring. Cadet Activities posts the schedule.
Dress for the mothers and anyone else going through the ring with the cadet is formal.
Check with your cadet to see what the plans are for dinner that night. Some eat before they go through the ring others go after.
Ladies, be aware that you may be standing behind the scenes for a while before you go through the ring.
Family members not going through the ring go inside the field house to watch the presentations.
Our family outside 1st Battalion after the ring ceremony.
If you plan on being in Charleston for the weekend I hope you have your hotel reservations. If not, I have some information to share with you regarding availability.
Hotels I’ve checked with have given me the following availability and rate information for Parents Weekend and Homecoming. You can also try hotels.com or another web site to find a hotel at a good rate. Vrbo.com is a good place to start if you’d like a rental property. If you are staying three nights and are looking for a rental property call recent grad, Chip Morrison, of Carolina One Realty, 843-343-3525.
Comfort Inn near campus has availability for both parents Weekend and Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. They also offer a frequent guest program. Be sure to ask about it at the desk at check in.
Hawthorn Suites has some rooms for Oct. 13th and still has availability for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. $74 plus tax.
Homewood Suites Charleston Airport is offering a nightly rate of $137 plus tax for Parents Weekend. Call the front desk, 843-735-5000 and ask for The Citadel rate.
LaQuinta Inn & Suites Charleston Riverview is sold out for Parents Weekend but does have rooms for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. $92 plus tax.
Marriott Charleston has a limited amount of rooms for October 13 for the special rate of $189. For Homecoming they have a few rooms left and selling for a two night minimum for Friday and Saturday. THe rate is $319 per room per night.
Knobs line the street Friday afternoon. The seniors will process between them on their way to receive their rings in the field house.
Only four weeks until Parents Weekend at The Citadel. I won’t be attending the events, but I am in touch with quite a few parents who are looking forward to October 12. Parents of knobs can’t wait to visit their knob and see the barracks and the other activities on campus. The senior parents, especially the moms, are getting ready to see their cadet receive their hard-earned ring and walk through the giant replica of the ring Friday night.
Bravo Company banner, 2007.
Knob parents:
Parking is hard to find so get to campus early and plan to walk a lot.
If you can, arrive early enough on Friday to see the knobs line the street in front of the barracks. The seniors will walk between the knobs on their way to receive their rings. he knobs cheer them on as they pass by.
Friday afternoon belongs to the seniors. You are encouraged to visit the academic departments with your knob then take them off campus for the afternoon and evening.
Be sure to pay special attention to the company banner Saturday morning. The knobs work very hard to make sure the banner looks great. There are also bulletin boards to take note of as well.
Make lunch plans for Saturday. You can eat in the Coward Mess hall with your cadet and will need a ticket. You can purchase them in advance or on Friday afternoon through the Cadet Activities office. Boxed lunches are also available or you can bring your own lunch.
Bravo Company banner, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
Bulletin board recognizing the one 2011 Summerall Guard member in Bravo Company. photo by Stanley Leary
The promotion ceremony, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary
The Ring Presentation ceremony begins. 2010 photo by Stanley Leary
Senior parents:
If you can arrive Thursday evening so you can get to campus early on Friday. The parking as on most big weekends is tight.
Dress for the afternoon should be in keeping with the occasion. The cadets are in their most formal uniform. You will see people in a variety of different types of clothes. a Jacket and tie for the gentlemen and a dress or nice slacks for the ladies is appropriate. Again you’ll see families in a variety of different clothes Friday afternoon.
Friday evening plans will revolve around when your cadets company is scheduled to go through the ring. Cadet Activities posts the schedule.
Dress for the mothers and anyone else going through the ring with the cadet is formal.
Check with your cadet to see what the plans are for dinner that night. Some eat before they go through the ring others go after.
Ladies, be aware that you may be standing behind the scenes for a while before you go through the ring.
Family members not going through the ring go inside the field house to watch the presentations.
Our family outside 1st Battalion after the ring ceremony.
If you plan on being in Charleston for the weekend I hope you have your hotel reservations. If not, I have some information to share with you regarding availability.
Hotels I’ve checked with have given me the following availability and rate information for Parents Weekend and Homecoming. You can also try hotels.com or another web site to find a hotel at a good rate. Vrbo.com is a good place to start if you’d like a rental property. If you are staying three nights and are looking for a rental property call recent grad, Chip Morrison, of Carolina One Realty, 843-343-3525.
Comfort Inn near campus has availability for both parents Weekend and Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. They also offer a frequent guest program. Be sure to ask about it at the desk at check in.
Hawthorn Suites has some rooms for Oct. 13th and still has availability for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. $74 plus tax.
Homewood Suites Charleston Airport is offering a nightly rate of $137 plus tax for Parents Weekend. Call the front desk, 843-735-5000 and ask for The Citadel rate.
LaQuinta Inn & Suites Charleston Riverview is sold out for Parents Weekend but does have rooms for Homecoming. Call directly and ask for The Citadel rate. $92 plus tax.
Marriott Charleston has a limited amount of rooms for October 13 for the special rate of $189. For Homecoming they have a few rooms left and selling for a two night minimum for Friday and Saturday. THe rate is $319 per room per night.
