Bravo knobs prepare for the promotion ceremony on Parent’s Weekend. photo by Seth Ruff
The first week of training is almost over for the first year cadets, or Knobs, at The Citadel. It is a stressful time each year for the knobs and their families. Their phones should be returned sometime early next week. It is important to remember that the cadre in the company do have some leeway with the when exactly the phones are returned. The computers are the same way. Just wait until you get a call or email. Then be as positive as you can. Realize that some knobs will vent to family because they are the only ones to whom they can vent/complain.
By now the school Post Office has sent quite a few USPS boxes and labels to new families. Not everyone receives them. You can order your own online for free at USPS.com. We used the 1096L Priority box then put it in the Flat Rate envelope to save money on postage. It is a little larger than the small flat rate boxes.
Saturday afternoon the knobs will have a little fun when they attend the annual football team scrimmage. The knobs act as cheerleaders for the game.
The Cadet Activities office hosts an evening event Saturday that features a hypnotist. It is always fun to see the photos of the event. Be sure to bookmark the Cadet Activities web page and Facebook page for photos and important information. You can order cookies for your knobs birthday or other special occasion through their office. No knob wants to stand out in the group so remember not to make a big deal out of their birthday on campus.
Once classes get started a regular rhythm sets in to the week. It’s a busy rhythm, but it will become fairly routine.
I understand the Commandant told the new families on Matriculation Day that August 26 the knobs will get their first leave for 7 hours. While it may be tempting to rush to see them, it is the first time they have a chance to get off campus with their new friends and begin to bond as a class. You’ll have plenty of weekends to visit. Many local cadets bring friends home with them too.
A proud baby sister tries to point to her big brothers name on the Bravo Company board. Parent’s Weekend, 2008
Knobs and cadre members outside of Jenkins Hall Sunday afternoon.
I made it to another Matriculation Day at The Citadel, my 6th, 5th as a volunteer. Like most visits to the school it was a busy weekend. My tradition is to stop by Mark Clark Hall when I arrive in Charleston. I began to meet incoming families right away. The Gift Shop tends to be a place where all the new families visit when they come to campus.
One thing I didn’t realize before going to campus was the impact posting this blog would have on a broader audience. After my son’s graduation I decided to post the basic information I gave to the Georgia families each year during our orientation for new families. What I discovered this weekend is that I should never underestimate the research prowess of anxious parents! The advice I’ve been sharing with Georgia families is now online and available for anyone who searches the web for information on The Citadel. The end result was that this past weekend people I had never met called me by name to say hello.
The whole experience was a bit surreal. I’m an extrovert so meeting all the new families was really fun, but it just felt a bit strange and rewarding to know that my little blog actually reached the intended audience and helped a few people.
Volunteering during Matriculation Day and being the administrator of the Facebook group for parents of the class of 2016 is a good distraction for me right now too. My son will be deployed sometime later this year. Helping others is a great way to forget about your own anxieties.
I purchased a “Big Red” flag for my son and had his graduation year added. The alumni like to get their photo taken with the flag where ever they are stationed. Once I had the flag, a friend of my son held it by the company letter so I could send the photo to him as well.
“Big Red” in front of the Bravo Company letter in 1st Battalion. the day before Matriculation Day.
This first week for new knobs is tough on them, but judging by the posts of new parents I know it is hard on them too. In 2011 I wrote a blog entry for the blog site Off the Base titled, The Citadel: Year One A No Fly Zone for Hovering Parents. Most of what I wrote in 2011 still applies today.
There are a few other tips I’ll pass along to the new parents about this first year:
Each Cadet is different: Remember, each knob and each cadet will have their own a unique experience. During the first year the knobs learn to work together. BUT if you are friends with the family of an upperclassman, take their advice with a grain of salt no two cadets have the same experience. Each year the cadre change the companies each have their own traditions so no two years are the same and no two cadets have identical experiences.
That goes for my suggestions as well. I don’t have all the right answers. Much of this whole process is up to the individual cadet. Each family has to make their own decisions on how to proceed with mail, visits, etc.
Learn the citadel.edu web site: I posted a page called Helpful Web Links to this blog to help make it easier to find the sites viewed most by parents. It includes links to: the photo site that is updated just about daily this week; the Office the Commandant page, where you can find the Training schedules for each and every week and the PowerPoint Presentations the cadets will sit through; and many others. The A-Z Site map and the regular search window on the upper right side of the home page are great tools to find the information you are looking for about the school.
Regarding Facebook: I know you miss your child. I was one of the parents trolling the photo website during Hell Week hoping for a glimpse of my knob too. Now that Facebook is such a big part of the social media scene, new parents should use restraint when posting to public sites like The Citadel External Affairs page and other Citadel related Facebook groups. They post great photos and information. You should join the page and keep an eye on it, but if you see your knob, don’t post comments. A knob wants to fly under the radar. If a parent starts gushing about their child on the public page it invites unwanted attention to the knob. The cadets and alumni are also part of the public pages. When you see a photo you like download it and repost it to your own Facebook page so your friends can see the photo and comment. Do join the page just for 2016 parents, Only new parents and a few parents of graduates are on the page.
Facebook friends from the Class of 2016 meet in person in Mark Clark Hall.
Questions/Concerns: Email and call your CFA company or battalion rep. If you are part of the Facebook group for new parents you can private message one of the parents of a graduate on the site. If it is a questions about policy of the school, call the Ombudsperson’s office they are available 24/7. They are a great first stop and will keep your call confidential if you’d like.
Phone calls/Email/Texts: The knobs will get their phones and computer access early next week. It can vary by company when they get the privileges back so don’t panic if you hear someone has heard from their cadet and you haven’t. They will not be able to answer the phone/email or text at will. If they do call and the call drops suddenly it is not a bad connection, don’t call them back. It most likely means a member of the cadre walked in the room and they had to hang up. Keep your calls encouraging. You may end up being the one person they complain to. Realize that most knobs will dump their frustrations to their family members leaving them to worry. They rarely let you know a situation has resolved. You are left to worry and they are dealing with whatever it was they complained about.
Mail/Food: They will get to go to their mail boxes when classes begin. Send positive, fun cards and letters. Small boxes of a food are always appreciated. The school has the US Postal Service send small flat rate boxes and labels to you. You can also get them for free at your local post office. TIP: The Priority Mail box #1096L is larger and still fits in their mail box. stuff it with protein snacks or whatever, THEN put it in a flat rate mailing envelope to save on postage.
Visits after Hell Week: The first time knobs can go off campus is most likely August 26. They may have up to 7 hours I say may because the leave is a privilege that can be revoked. This first day off campus is a terrific time for the knobs to bond off campus with their classmates. Most walk to town for a decent meal without the cadre present. Future weekends you can make plans to visit if that is what your family decides they want to do. As with everything else this year allow your knob to call the shots. They will let you know if a visit would help or if they want to spend time with their new classmates. You can send a gift card to the fast food places around campus, like Burger King, McDonald’s, and Hardee’s, or to the restaurants in town like Sticky Fingers, Moe’s and other casual restaurants.
Girlfriends: There is a Facebook group for girl friends of cadets. Request to join the closed group to meet other girlfriends by clicking this link. I haven’t found one for boyfriends.
Looking forward to Parents Weekend: The schedule is usually posted to the main website a few weeks prior to the weekend. It hasn’t changed much over the years, but do check it to see if they decided to change ties of the events from previous year. If you can, try to get to campus before 12 noon on Friday. The knobs have lunch with their senior mentors then they line to road in front of the barracks to cheer the graduating class as they march to the field house to receive their rings. It is fun to watch as the knobs chant the graduating class on. There is an academic open house and the knobs can usually leave with their families in the afternoon. The seniors get their rings then dash out of the field house and into their barracks to celebrate. They usually want the knobs to be out of the barracks before the seniors come in.
My son stares at a knob during the promotion ceremony. photo by Stanley Leary
The knobs of the Class of 2011 line the street to cheer on the seniors.
The Friday of Parents Weekend is HUGE deal for the seniors. They have waited three years to earn the right to wear THE ring. They receive them Friday afternoon and Friday night is the Ring presentation and Ring Hop. Knobs don’t attend the dance, but if you are on campus in the evening it is fun to see everyone dressed up. It is something to do sophomore and junior year when your cadet might be out with their buddies. My daughter and I picked up some ice cream and sat near the field house watching the mother’s and girlfriends walk by in their beautiful gowns.
Ring ceremony, 2010. photo by Stanley Leary.
See the few photo albums I have from my weekend at The Citadel here:
Bravo knobs line up in 1st Battalion ready to report to the First Sergeant. 2010 photo
In just a few days The Citadel Class of 2016 Cadet Recruits will report for Matriculation Day. These first year students are called Cadet Recruits until they go through the promotion ceremony the Saturday morning of Parent’s Weekend.
Right now the cadet recruits around the country are beginning to focus on what is in front of them. From all reports it is the most challenging year of their young lives. I am told by graduates that is is also one of the most rewarding years.
I thought I’d write a few last minute tips for anyone reading this who may not have followed my other posts.
For the Cadet Recruits:
1) Set your Facebook privacy settings as high as you can, including all photos. The cadre are at the school now and already have your names. You don’t need to hand them material about you because your Facebook page is open for all to see. This is good advice for anyone, BTW.
2) Be sure you have printed out and completed the FERPA form and bring it with you. Remember your wallet and ID.
3) It’s too late now to start your physical training if you haven’t already. Know that you will do lots of push ups, sit ups and run every day.
4) You won’t find your company until Matriculation morning. After that your friends and family can get your address through the People Search window on the main school site.
5) Hopefully you’ve started to memorize the Guidon, the small book you were sent. If not be prepared to start memorizing.
Bravo Company cadre prepare to meet the Cadet Recruits. 2010
For the parents:
1) Learn the school web site . I’ll post some links you’ll want to know about right away, like the Operations and Training Schedule page and the photos page. When you can’t hear form them the first 7 – 10 days you can learn about what they are doing and look for their photo.
4) Remember this is a Leadership School. Once you leave campus your cadet recruit is expected to take responsibility for their success and failures. That includes their grades and classes.
5) If they call home discouraged build them up. Remind them to use the cadet chain of command if they have issues. If at anytime you have concerns and want to speak to someone on campus confidentially, call the Ombudspersons office.
6) You can usually find links for the information you are looking for by using the search window on the school site or on this blog. On Facebook groups go to the upper right hand side of he group page and click on the magnifying glass icon. Enter the search term and relevant posts will appear. Bookmark this Helpful Web Links post to refer back to through out the year..
7) If you and your cadet recruit are on campus Friday afternoon stop by Mark Clark Hall, fist floor reception room, between 3:00 – 5:00. A group of new parents and CFA volunteers will be in the first floor reception room to just visit and meet each other.
Take a deep breath. It may be a bumpy ride, but you won’t be going through it alone. Your cadet recruit will learn to work with their classmates. You’ll learn how to find information and support from fellow parents.
Best wishes for a great knob year!
The cadre march the cadet recruits to lunch on Matriculation Day, 2010.
In less than a month The Citadel Class of 2016 will report for Matriculation Day. If I didn’t own a calendar I could tell the day was approaching by the search terms used to find this blog. Various takes on knob year populate the search terms. The questions asked by parents of the Class of 2016 are becoming more focused as the big day approaches.
Matriculation Day, 2010. The Bravo Company cadre lead the knobs to lunch.
A few parents of graduates started a Facebook group to support new families. Only parents of graduates are on the group page along with parents of the entering class. The group is a great resource for new parents. Some of the new parents are graduates of The Citadel, some of the parents of graduates are alums too.
One of my big frustrations was finding out basic information about the school because my son rarely told me much and my ex-husband was the one who received official information from the school. This blog is the result of years of research and study of both The Citadel and the 4th Class System. My hope is that new families will feel just a little better prepare than I was to send my son off to this leadership school.
I’ve written about this before, but one of the biggest surprises for me in the whole experiences was that I ended up with many very good friends. These friends are now helping me as I learn about being the mom of an officer in the U.S. Army.
Recently, through a connection made through an alum of The Citadel, I began a correspondence with a 1LT in the Army who is now serving in Afghanistan. When I asked him if I could send anything he replied, “We need sunscreen, hard to come by. I have about 15 soldiers who pull 12 hr. shifts in the sun. If it could be sent to me I’ll distribute out.”
Walgreen’s in Roswell gave me a 25% discount on sunscreen. We also purchased some from Dollar Tree and Big Lots.
I promptly posted a note to my Facebook page asking if anyone would like to help out by either purchasing sunscreen or sending funds to defray the postage. Within a few minutes one Facebook friend who is a military reporter sent $25. A high school friend sent a generous check as did several Citadel parents and a few church friends. Right now I have $105 in checks. A few Citadel parents are sending boxes directly to the 1LT. A few of these parents have children who haven’t even started their first year as a cadet.
The first boxes of sunscreen are in the mail. A few more will go out this week.
To the parents of the Class of 2016 WELCOME. You are about to join a tremendously supportive group of people.
Each year about this time the Atlanta Citadel Club hosts a gathering to welcome the new cadets and their families. Each year I walk away from the event impressed by the alumni and their support for their school. The dinner last night was held at the Georgian Club and was attended by at least 145 people. The president of The Citadel, Lt. Gen. John Rosawas the honored guest along with quite a few members of the administration.
Lt. Gen John Rosa addresses the dinner guests.
Sitting at the dinner last night brought back memories of the first cadet send off dinner I attended in 2007. I experienced an interesting mixture of feelings. I was excited for the Class of 2016 and their parents because in hindsight I know the challenging, but rewarding feeling of accomplishment and pride the cadets and parents feel.
Five send off dinners since the first one I attended in 2007, I am now feeling a different anxiety. I am preparing myself for my oldest sons first deployment to Afghanistan this fall. In many ways this anxiety is similar to how I was feeling the summer of 2007.
My son is the one who took the road less traveled and successfully navigated the rigors of the tough 4th Class System of The Citadel. I have been a spectator and student of how to be a supportive parent of a cadet. I continue to be impressed at the loyalty cadets and graduates have for THEIR school.
In 2007 I learned about the 4th Class System from scores of parents, mostly moms, of current cadets. Today, thanks in large part to my new friends through The Citadel, I am learning about the U.S. Army and how to be a supportive parent to my son.
As a parent you spend your child’s early years protecting them from harmful situations. At some point during their teen years you begin to realize they need to spread their wings and begin to learn about life, including the difficulties, on their own. It is like a mother bird watching their chick make their first flight. Sending my son to The Citadel was like watching him soar off into the world.
I watched the new families at the dinner last night with a mixture of feelings. I remember my own anxiety at sending a child to a tough program. But I also have the benefit of hindsight. I know the funny knob year stories that will be told. I know the feelings of accomplishment these almost cadets will feel when they reach the end of Recognition Day the end of their knob year. And I know what sheer joy looks like on a cadet their senior year when they have earned The Ring.
My son was on an Army contract. For the past several years I have gone between feeling proud of his service to being anxious about what that service entails. As a non-military person trying to learn about a complex organization with a zillion new terms to learn, the whole situation can be overwhelming.
While a military system like The Citadel can be intimidating for a non-military person, I’ve learned that like at the fictional Hogwarts of Harry Potter fame, “help will always be given to those who ask for it.” The volunteers of The Citadel Family Association and the staff of the school are a terrific resource and helped me learn about what my son was going through. Just remember, The Citadel is a “no fly zone” for helicopter parents.
I am now learning about the U.S. Army the Family Readiness Groups and organizations like Blue Star Mothers and Blue Star Families. Support groups for parents and spouses are plentiful on social media sites, but you do need to reach out and ask for support. Knowing I am not alone on this journey doesn’t take away the anxiety completely, but knowing I stand in a long line of families that have sent their sons and daughters to war gives me strength.
Best wishes to The Citadel, Class of 2016 and their parents. As the graduates say, “You spend 4 years waiting to get out and spend the rest of your life trying to go back.”
Members of the Class of 2016 pose for a photo at the end of the dinner.
Each day we get just that much closer to the day all knobs live for, Recognition Day. It is the day that first year cadets hear the announcement, “The fourth class system is no longer in effect.” You can find the date of Recognition day on the Yearly Planning Calendar posted to the Office of the Commandant page. You can also put Recognition Day in the search window of the main page to find information. The current year’s activities usually aren’t posted until about a month ahead.
I read the book, “In the Company of Men,” by Nancy Mace second semester of my cadets knob year. It really helped me understand the process my son was going through. You can find the book through Amazon.
Over the years the activities and schedule has changed but the significance has not. In the last 4 years more family members arrive in Charleston to watch the events of Saturday from a distance. The morning starts very early with physical training (PT) and is followed by a series of challenges. The morning ends in the barracks where the knobs run through a last set of push ups. There is a lunch served in each battalion. We watched through the sallyport gates. You can find several videos of the last few minutes when the announcement is made. Put The Citadel Recognition Day in the YouTube search window to find more videos.The Commandants page posted a PowerPoint in 2011 of the days events. You’ll get tired just reading about the day.
Remember, if you do attend Recognition Day it is not a time for you to visit with your cadet. You will mostly watch from a distance. Some families do get to congratulate their cadet after their lunch. Some see them after their Recognition Day dinner. Sunday morning brunch is a time you can most likely get to spend some time. In our case our son and his friend decided they would rather come back to the hotel Saturday night with us than go out with their buddies. Most families I’ve heard from say their cadet goes out with their friends to celebrate. Like everything else at The Citadel Ask your cadet what they want to do.
