2012 Corps Day Weekend, Part 2: Paying it forward

 

Corps Day Weekend 2012 for me was about visiting friends and paying forward the kindness that was extended to my son during his four years at The Citadel. So many families hosted him for meals and visits. They helped in ways I’m sure I am not even aware of. Since my friends couldn’t join me for the weekend for a reunion I decided I go anyway and try to pass along a few kindnesses.

5th Battalion knobs pull the canons into the barracks after the parade.After a full morning of visiting the barracks, the band concert, watching the 2013 Summerall Guards then the parade, I was ready to go to lunch. I had made plans to meet a Georgia cadet at 5th Battalion. After four years of waiting outside 1st Battalion for our cadet this was a whole new experience. 5th Battalion, or Stevens Barracks, is home to Palmetto Battery, Papa Company and Sierra Company. Several Georgia cadets are in each company so I could visit with their parents and meet new friends. At one point the knobs of Palmetto Battery were marched into the barracks. Several minutes later they ran out in the PT (physical training uniform) to return later pulling the canons used for the parades. It is a ritual that happens every day after a parade, but one I had never seen before. I recognized a few of the knobs as the ones I met earlier at the band concert dressed in the various uniforms from previous conflicts. I hope their parents will see the photos I took of their cadets in those uniforms.

5th Battalion knobs in period uniforms for the Band Concert tribute.

My young cadet friend, Cadet Lee, emerged from the barracks in his dress white uniform. It is a favorite uniform among parents. The cadets tell me they prefer it over the wool ones as well. After touching base with my friend, Jerri, we headed to The Marina Variety Store for lunch. I’ve mentioned this restaurant before. It sits right on the Ashley River off of Lockwood Blvd. I like it there because you can park for free, the food is great the staff is nice and the view is great. Our time over lunch flew by as we heard stories from Cadet Lee and Jerri’s son, Cadet Rodgers, two very sharp young men.Cadet Lee and Dorie at The Marina Variety Store

One of the highlights of my weekend came after dropping off Cadet Lee. On the way off of campus I saw two knobs looking like they might need a ride. I introduced myself as the mom of a graduate and asked if I could help. They were very polite but said they had to go a distance to their home and a cab was on the way. The real fun began when i asked what company they are in. They replied. “Bravo Ma’am.” I then told them my son, Nelson Lalli was in Bravo Company. They looked at each other than looked at me in disbelief. They said they knew of “Mr. Lalli” and that he is a legend in Bravo Company. With that I told them to cancel the cab, I would take them to their home. The 20 minute ride was filled with knob stories and them telling me what they had heard about my son. They also spoke about the current cadet command of Bravo Company most of whom I have known since their knob year. I smiled as they referred to each one as Mr. The two knobs seemed to be making the best of their first year. We laughed as we exchanged stories. I made a note to myself to try and keep up with these two young cadets as they progress in their time at The Citadel.

I spent a little time walking along the beach on Isle of Palms that afternoon. My next stop was the Boating Center on the campus. It is one of my favorite spots on campus to visit. The contrast of the tranquility of the dock and marsh compared to the intense environment of the rest of the campus is striking.

The Boat Center at The Citadel.
The Boat Dock My next fun pay it forward moment came as I was leaving campus. I saw a group of cadets outside 2nd Battalion. It looked like they were arranging for a ride off campus. When I stopped and go tout of the car I realized I knew one of them. I ended up driving 5 cadets to downtown Charleston in my little Toyota Corolla. The ride was fun as I met the 4 cadets who were with my friend Wei-Ming. All five of them are from Taiwan and will go back into service with a branch of the Taiwanese military after graduation. Five Cadets before going into town.

My last morning was spent sharing brunch with another Georgia cadet. The same cadet I brought a care package to Saturday morning. We had corresponded via Facebook last summer as he prepared to report, but had not really spent any time talking. It was fun to hear of his plans for the future and to learn about how his first year was progressing. Spring break is coming up and shortly after that will be Recognition Day. I could hear the excitement in his voice as he talked about Recognition Day.

The weekend ended with my traditional last stop at Mark Clark Hall and a spin through the Gift shop. I was stopped by two families in town to look at the school for their high school student. They had a few questions for a parent. As I spoke to each family I was reminded of our first visit to campus the summer of 2006.

Each cadet has their own path at The Citadel. Each family will develop their own rituals when they visit. I am grateful for the many families who hosted our son during his time there. I hope on future visits I’ll be able to continue to pay the kindness our son received during his time at the school forward to current cadets.

Where we dine when visiting The Citadel

The view from The Wreck.A year or so ago I posted this question on Facebook,”What is your favorite Charleston restaurant.” A wide variety of friends chimed in with their favorites.

Like everything else, if you ask 5 different people this question you will get 5 different answers.  To get the conversation started here I’ll list some of our favorite places to visit when we are in town.

Marina Variety Store Restaurant This restaurant is near the campus, right on Lockwood Blvd. They serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They have a terrific menu, and is right on the river at the Charleston Marina. Great food at a good price and it is a casual restaurant. We eat here for Sunday brunch before driving home. The Entrance to The Marina Variety Store where you can eat and do your laundry at the same time.

The Wreck Right on the river off of Shem creek. Extremely casual, with paper table clothes and plastic utensils. The food is off the boat fresh. Check their operating hours and get there right when they open.

Virginia’s On King – Not far from Marion Square, Very good Southern cooking.

Jestine”s Kitchen – a traditional spot for tourists to visit. The food is good, but expect a wait.

Charleston Crab House on James Island – Great location with none of the parking hassles of downtown Charleston. The food is consistently good. We went here with 30 people on Ring Weekend.

Vendue Rooftop – a great view, live entertainment.

Tommy Condon’s– A Irish pub with good food and atmosphere.

Sticky Fingers – A great place for barbecue and wings. Several locations.

Melvin’s – Not too far from campus terrific barbecue.

West Ashley Crab Shack – across the river from The Citadel campus. We’ve never had to wait for a table and have enjoyed all the meals we’ve eaten here. A good place to go for seafood without the parking hassle and crowds of in town.

Hominy Grill – An award-winning restaurant. We ate brunch here the Friday of Ring Weekend. The restaurant is close to campus.

Ye Old Fashioned Ice Cream & Sandwich Cafe – We stop at the location just over the bridge from The Citadel once each visit. The ice cream is great, but the sandwiches and salads are too.

Poe’s Tavern On Sullivan’s Island. A great pub with terrific burgers and sandwiches.

My friends favorites:

SNOB (Slightly North of Broad)

82 Queen

Rita’s

Poogan’s Porch

For a good listing of Charleston area restaurants visit the Charleston Area Convention and Visitors Bureau “Where to Dine” web site. A number of websites give reviews on area restaurant’s. Fodor’s is just one I check.

Please leave your tips in the comment section of this entry.

Learning Cadet Speak

1st Battalion Quad photo by Stanley Leary

I am now bilingual. I speak English and Citadel parent. It took a while to catch on to the new terms, abbreviations and slang terms, but by my son’s sophomore year I was just about fluent.

A number of  parents of high school seniors are starting their journey to learn about the 4th Class System. A quick look at the search terms leading to this blog tell me there are a good number of new families seeking information.

I’ll post a few terms here. If you are reading this and are the parent or family member of a cadet, please put the terms you’ve learned over the years. You can purchase a copy of the guide book for knobs called The Guidon, or download it here and read about other terms. The Guidon is updated each year and is available online and in the bookstore in Mark Clark Hall on campus.

Terms:

All in – When all cadets are to be in their room in the barracks.

Black Badge, Red Badge – ROTC pins for cadets who are on an Army or Marine contract.

BVA – Bond Volunteer Aspirant, a junior cadet who wants to be a member of the Summerall Guards.

Brace – a form of attention that knobs must do around any upper class cadet. Try to touch their chin to their spine

Blitz polish or make shine. Brass and shoes can be referred to as being “blitzed out”

Confinements or Cons – punishment for a violation.

Corps Day – a weekend in March to celebrate the founding of the Corps of Cadets.

Division – in the barracks the floors are referred to as divisions, ex. the fourth floor is the 4th division.

El Cid – slang for The Citadel. years ago some cadets cut up a bumper sticker to rearrange the letters. The name stuck.

E.S.P. – Evening Study Period

“Fix your smile” –  refers to the band on your cap.  Keep it down or else you can see a “Smile” of white between the black bill and the white cap.

FTX – Field Training Exercise, usually a weekend trip with the ROTC program.

Gaudy – a term used when a knob or other cadet acts a bit cocky or outrageous

Guidon – a military flag that designates a company or platoon sized group. Each company has a guidon at The Citadel. The clerk (sophomore cadet officer) carries the guidon during the parades. Knobs don’t touch the guidon. Also the name of the book published each year that Knobs have to memorize.

Knobbie mission – when a senior sends a knob to play a prank, usually on another senior.

Knobbie walk – 120 paces a minute

Ombudsperson or Ombudsman – The officials on campus appointed to investigate concerns. A great resource for parents.

Open and Closed weekends – Open means the upper class cadets can go off campus for the night(s) if they don’t have any tours or confinements.  Closed means everyone must be in the barracks at the appointed time each night. You can visit knobs on Open AND Closed weekends.  They will not be on campus FTX weekends.

PT – Physical Training

Press and Full Press – The press is the metal dresser with drawers for folded clothes,  The full press is the closet for hanging clothes.

Quad – the red and white open area of the barracks. See this link for a panoramic view of 1st Battalion (Murray Barracks)

Sallyport – entry gate to the barracks

SMI – Saturday Morning Inspection

Shirt stays – an elastic band that attaches to the bottom of a uniform shirt and to the top of dress socks. It keeps the shirt in place and the socks pulled up.

Sir sandwich – begin and end all answers to an upperclassmen with sir

Spirit Run – Physical training time that takes place with the knobs and the cadre.

Table top – while bracing the knob leans as far back as possible without wavering making them look like a tabletop

TAC officer (Training Advising and Counseling) the staff person usually active duty or retired officer. Each company and battalion has a TAC officer assigned. One point of contact for parents.

Tours – punishment for a violation. walk the Quad with your rifle for one hour = one tour.

Front sallyport of Murray Barracks. photo by Stanley Leary

Learning Cadet Speak

1st Battalion Quad photo by Stanley Leary

I am now bilingual. I speak English and Citadel parent. It took a while to catch on to the new terms, abbreviations and slang terms, but by my son’s sophomore year I was just about fluent.

A number of  parents of high school seniors are starting their journey to learn about the 4th Class System. A quick look at the search terms leading to this blog tell me there are a good number of new families seeking information.

I’ll post a few terms here. If you are reading this and are the parent or family member of a cadet, please put the terms you’ve learned over the years. You can purchase a copy of the guide book for knobs called The Guidon, or download it here and read about other terms. The Guidon is updated each year and is available online and in the bookstore in Mark Clark Hall on campus.

Terms:

All in – When all cadets are to be in their room in the barracks.

Black Badge, Red Badge – ROTC pins for cadets who are on an Army or Marine contract.

BVA – Bond Volunteer Aspirant, a junior cadet who wants to be a member of the Summerall Guards.

Brace – a form of attention that knobs must do around any upper class cadet. Try to touch their chin to their spine

Blitz polish or make shine. Brass and shoes can be referred to as being “blitzed out”

Confinements or Cons – punishment for a violation.

Corps Day – a weekend in March to celebrate the founding of the Corps of Cadets.

Division – in the barracks the floors are referred to as divisions, ex. the fourth floor is the 4th division.

El Cid – slang for The Citadel. years ago some cadets cut up a bumper sticker to rearrange the letters. The name stuck.

E.S.P. – Evening Study Period

“Fix your smile” –  refers to the band on your cap.  Keep it down or else you can see a “Smile” of white between the black bill and the white cap.

FTX – Field Training Exercise, usually a weekend trip with the ROTC program.

Gaudy – a term used when a knob or other cadet acts a bit cocky or outrageous

Guidon – a military flag that designates a company or platoon sized group. Each company has a guidon at The Citadel. The clerk (sophomore cadet officer) carries the guidon during the parades. Knobs don’t touch the guidon. Also the name of the book published each year that Knobs have to memorize.

Knobbie mission – when a senior sends a knob to play a prank, usually on another senior.

Knobbie walk – 120 paces a minute

Ombudsperson or Ombudsman – The officials on campus appointed to investigate concerns. A great resource for parents.

Open and Closed weekends – Open means the upper class cadets can go off campus for the night(s) if they don’t have any tours or confinements.  Closed means everyone must be in the barracks at the appointed time each night. You can visit knobs on Open AND Closed weekends.  They will not be on campus FTX weekends.

PT – Physical Training

Press and Full Press – The press is the metal dresser with drawers for folded clothes,  The full press is the closet for hanging clothes.

Quad – the red and white open area of the barracks. See this link for a panoramic view of 1st Battalion (Murray Barracks)

Sallyport – entry gate to the barracks

SMI – Saturday Morning Inspection

Shirt stays – an elastic band that attaches to the bottom of a uniform shirt and to the top of dress socks. It keeps the shirt in place and the socks pulled up.

Sir sandwich – begin and end all answers to an upperclassmen with sir

Spirit Run – Physical training time that takes place with the knobs and the cadre.

Table top – while bracing the knob leans as far back as possible without wavering making them look like a tabletop

TAC officer (Training Advising and Counseling) the staff person usually active duty or retired officer. Each company and battalion has a TAC officer assigned. One point of contact for parents.

Tours – punishment for a violation. walk the Quad with your rifle for one hour = one tour.

Front sallyport of Murray Barracks. photo by Stanley Leary

Working Through The January Blahs

My mother used to talk about the January blah’s. It’s that time of year after the holidays when the days are short and cold and not much is happening. I love the spring time with its longer warmer days and the leaves and flowers begin to blossom. This thought came to me this morning while I was doing a morning writing exercise recommended in the book, The Artists Way.

Jeff Justice and the February 2011 graduating class. photo by Stanley Leary

Each January I try to do something a little outside my comfort zone.  This year I’m working through The Artists Way with a small group of ladies I met through a writer friend whom I really admire. Last year I enrolled in a comedy writing class taught by Jeff Justice. It was a wonderful way to learn how to put more humor into my presentation, but it also gave me a fun outlet to be around some fun people too. Our graduation was at The Punchline Comedy Club in Sandy Springs.  We each did a 4 minute stand up routine of original material that Jeff helped us develop.

It occurred to me this morning that my oldest son, and his buddies at The Citadel, didn’t need to do this type of motivational exercise. They each had some type of driving force within themselves that kept them moving through 4 years of a very ordered life. Even in the toughest time of the year, January, the cadets get up early for morning physical training (PT), go to their meals together, go to class, than participate in some type of activity on campus in the afternoon or evening. Mandatory study time in the evenings on top of the duties that come with their rank is like having a full-time job on top of a very full course load. Just thinking about their schedule makes me tired!

Dorie Griggs at The Punchline Comedy Club for her comedy class graduation photo by Stanley Leary

In reflecting back over the past four years I realized each January after my sons first year as a knob I would get a phone call from a concerned parent. The call usually came after the parent had an upsetting call from their knob. The first week back to El Cid (a nickname for The Citadel), is tough on all the cadets. Knobs, or first year cadets, seem to have the hardest time.  They return to school after spending a month at home with good food, good friends, long hot showers, and a comfortable bed. They return to getting up before the sun and training outside in the cold and damp weather. Anyone would get a bit down in these conditions.

From what I’ve observed over the years is that the cadets who succeed have an inner drive to push them through tough tasks. This inner drive doesn’t go away after they graduate. The graduates who enter the military continue on with similar physical training and the mental toughness to carry out their demanding tasks.  The graduates in the work force remain highly motivated and are often sought out by employers who recognize the value of the leadership training they’ve gone through.

I did not attend a military college and honestly don’t think I could have succeeded at one. I have learned a great respect for the individuals who do attend them and succeed.

For now I’ll continue in my small group plugging away at the tasks outlined in The Artists Way. When I start to make excuses why I can’t do something, I’ll remind myself of the young men and women who by 8:00 A.M. have already been up, exercised, showered, eaten, and are in class.

Congratulations to Bobbie O'Brien

Last week I had the opportunity to sit in on the meeting of the Rosalyn Carter Mental Health Journalism Fellows .  Bobbie O’Brien of  WUSF, and the administrator of the blog site, Off the Base, presented a summary of her work over the past year.  She was also selected as the only Fellow to present to President Carter and the Board of Councilors. Today Bobbie posted a summary of her presentation. You can see and hear about my contributions at the 6:13 mark.

Bobbie told me she added a few photos from my entries to Off the Base.  It was a strange feeling to be in a room of distinguished guests and then see a photo of me with my children on a screen as big as the side of a house! I am very grateful to Bobbie for the opportunity to contribute to her blog.

Congratulations to Bobbie and all the Fellows.

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At the end of Recognition Day. 4th Class Cadet Nelson Lalli with his mom, Dorie and sister, ChelleRing Ceremony, 2010. 1st Class Cadet Nelson Lalli escorts his mother, Dorie and his date, Leslie Manzano through the Junior Sword Arch.

Previous posts from Off the Base

As a little background, I thought it might be helpful to post links to the entries I’ve written for Off the Base, a blog by Bobbie O’Brien of WUSF.  Most of my entries for Off the Base have to do with being the mom of a cadet at The Citadel.  Future entries on this blog will be on a variety of topics.

The Making of a Military Mom

Mom Readies for Son’s Military College

The Citadel: Year One a No Fly Zone for Hovering Parents

How The Citadel “Ya-Yas” Came to Be

Learning Leadership and Ethics at The Citadel

The Citadel Trained Me as Well as My Son

The Citadel: BVA’s and  Summerall Guards

The Citadel: Recognition Day and Ring Weekend

Care Packages for Cadets: The Citadel Heroes Project

The Citadel Bond Renews Parents’ Long Time Friendships

The Citadel: Unofficial Tips for Families of Incoming Knobs

The Citadel: Saying Good-Bye, But Always Connected

A Sister, a Mom, A Family Prepares for Military Life

Dorie, Nelson and Leslie. Ring Ceremony 2010

Survival Skills to Succeed as a Citadel Mom

A New Blue Star Mom Shows Supports for Fallen Soldier

Celebration, Tradition, Ritual: The Long Gray Li

Citadel Parent Crafts Her Own Graduation Ritual

Graduation Day: No Longer the Mother of a Cadet

A Letter to The Citadel Class of 2015

Citadel Mom Cycle Completed – A Blue Star Mom Emerges

A Military Mom Meets Lt. Gen. William B. Caldwell, IV

An Army Mom Transitions from The Citadel to Ft. Benning

A Seminary Student, Now an Army Mom Reflects on 9/11

Welcome to my new blog

Welcome

For the past 9 months I’ve contributed to the blog, Off the Base, a project of Bobbie O’Brien of WUSF.  Bobbie and I met at the Carter Center in 2010 at a series of meetings focusing on our returning veterans and Mental health issues. Bobbie is a Fellow with the Rosalyn Carter Mental Health Journalism Program. I attend the meetings as an observer.

Since graduating from Columbia Theological Seminary in 2002 I’ve research traumatic stress. When I met Bobbie my oldest son was a junior at The Citadel, the Military College of South Carolina, and an Army ROTC cadet. She asked me to contribute to Off the Base as the mom of a cadet at a military college and the mom of a future officer in the U.S. Army.

I turned her down at first because as I told Bobbie at the time, “I’m not a writer.” I majored in public speaking at the University of Richmond and would rather speak to a thousand people than write an article. I thought about her offer overnight and agreed to do it the next day. To grow you really have to push yourself into uncomfortable positions.

While I will still contribute to Off the Base, there are topics that are of particular interest to me that won’t fit into their mission. I’m glad you visited the site and hope to hear form you.