The Citadel cadets are making their way back to campus today for the final push toward their winter furlough. I went through some old emails today and found one I had sent to the parents in Georgia when my son was a senior. A couple of paragraphs from that letter about the furlough and returning second semester still apply today. . .
“It will be hard for them to leave home to report back to school after a week at home, but Christmas Furlough will only be a few weeks off. In the few weeks leading up to the Christmas Furlough the cadets have other traditions like decorating the Barracks, “borrowing” the trees from other companies (cadets don’t steal) and singing Christmas Carols. See this link for a Christmas Carol video.
And just a heads up about second semester. . . After a month at home it is very hard, even for the most dedicated knob, to return to The Citadel. It is cold, dark, and they just had several weeks of comforts at home. If your cadet calls home and seems particularly down and questions their choice of school, this is totally normal. Encourage them to remember why they decided to attend this school and encourage them to do their best. It won’t be long before the weather gets better and they are that much closer to the biggest day in the life of a cadet, Recognition Day.”
Boxes packed and ready to go to our soldier and the battalion chaplain.
As I wrote last week, this time of year holds some wonderful memories, but also the grief of losing both parents to cancer at this time of year. To counter act the feelings of loss I’ve developed positive ways to deal with my grief. This year with a son deployed my coping mechanism has turned to efforts to support the troops.
The Military Ministry of Roswell Presbyterian Church (RPC) played a big role this year in the outreach efforts. Members of the committee donated Christmas stockings filled with goodies to send to the battalion chaplain to be distributed to soldiers. We joined the efforts of Military Families Ministry in sending out the stockings. Military Families Ministry was co-founded by a friend and fellow contributor the blog Off the Base, Tracie Ciambotti. If you don’t have the address for a deployed service member, you can contact the nonprofit to find out how boxes can be sent. Their web site offers several ways in which groups or individuals can support deployed service members.
Christmas Stockings for soldiers from the Military Ministry of Roswell Presbyterian Church.
In addition to the stockings the Prayers and Squares ministry made and prayed over 100 prayer squares. The 6″ x 6″ squares of fabric have 5 strings or ribbons attached to them. When people say a prayer for the recipient they tie a knot. As I mentioned in a previous post the squares were prayed over at the veterans day luncheon and also by the middle school youth group at RPC. Each square was put into a ziplock bag with a card explaining what the knots symbolize. Half the prayer squares went to the deployed soldiers and the other half went to Fort Stewart to be given to family members of the soldiers deployed. Letters of thanks from the middle school youth went into the box with the prayer squares as well as hot chocolate packets, tea bags and snacks bars.
My daughter helped me get the boxes to the post office before Thanksgiving. Most were addressed to the chaplain, but one went to our soldier. In his we put warm hats, scarves and gloves along with his requested brands of special items. We also included some special items.
Prayer Squares made by the Prayers and Squares ministry of Roswell Presbyterian Church.
For years our daughter would visit the Santa at the mall near our house. Now that she is 14 this tradition has changed a bit. Instead of dressing in her best Christmas dress she wore her “Fangirl” t-shirt, hoodie, and bracelets. I was also in the photo this year with my Hero On My Arm “Army Mom” messenger bag. A copy of the photo went in my letter to our soldier. Our daughter wrote a special letter to her brother and the reindeer Santa gave him went in the box too. I choked up a bit when we visited with Santa and I heard Chelle tell him, “Please keep my brother safe.” When Santa asked her what she wanted for herself she said, “That’s all I need.”
Chelle, Santa and Dorie go over their very short, but important, Wish List.
Opportunities to support military families are all around you. One of the nicest things you can do is to ask the family member how they need to be supported. For us, sending boxes to our soldier helps us feel like we have a big support network. We are collecting items this week to send 14 Christmas care packages to soldiers with our soldier. After a quick Facebook post I heard from several people who would like to contribute. Letters, cards and pictures drawn by children are a terrific way to say thank you for your service. We hope to get the boxes in the mail by December 3. Please let me know if you would like to contribute to the mailing. We are looking for hot chocolate packets, instant coffee packets, baby wipes, beef jerky, dried fruit leather and other individually wrapped snacks.
While I am grateful for the many people who support us, I am still astounded at the people who have no idea we have thousands of soldiers deployed right now. I haven’t heard negative comments as much as ignorance of what our soldiers are doing. I am learning to use these comments to motivate me even more to be one more person getting the word out to support the troops.
Bonnie Ashley has received over 30 boxes this week of clothing and other donations for children of her school district and the areas surrounding the district. Some of their families lost everything. The call went out on Facebook and through this blog and The Citadel family went into action.
The latest word from Bonnie is that gifts of Home Depot gift cards are now needed. They will be used by families who are entering the long recovery process. If you’d like to send donations of Home Depot gift cards, please send them to:
Bonnie Ashley
2629 Ricky Street
Bellmore, NY 11710
Bonnie’s son, Jordan is a senior in Charlie Company at The Citadel, is spearheading an effort to raise funds on campus for the recovery effort. The money raised will go toward providing Home Depot gift cards to families in Breezy Point who are rebuilding. You can make donations through the PayPal account: [email protected]
In the midst of her efforts to aid the victims of super storm Sandy, Bonnie has reached out to me by baking cookies for my Citadel grad son who recently deployed to the Middle East.
The Placemat for the Veterans Day Luncheon at Roswell Presbyterian Church.
We just returned home from the Veterans Day Luncheon at Roswell Presbyterian Church. The luncheon was hosted by the Wit and Wisdom group and the Military Ministry committee. Wit and Wisdom is a group for adults over 50. The Military Ministry group is made up of Veterans, family members of someone in the service and anyone who would like to support military members, veterans and their families.
As part of the luncheon the members of Prayers and Squares ministry brought 6′ x 6″ prayer squares for us to pray over. The squares will be shipped to the chaplain of the battalion my son is part of. Some of the prayer squares will also be sent to the rear detachment chaplain to be distributed to family members who will find comfort in knowing a church family is holding them in prayer.
Prayer Squares made by Joyce Pettit and the Prayers and Squares Ministry.
The Roswell High School JROTC color guard opened the program by presenting the colors. That was a special treat for me. My oldest son was part of the Hornet Battalion color guard in high school. Then the Rev. Dr. Bill Nisbet moderated a program where the veterans at each table interacted with members of the middle and high school youth at their table. It was a fun afternoon. The students learned quite a bit from the veterans From the level of conversation in the room I know the veterans enjoyed talking to the youth too.
The Roswell High School JROTC Color Guard. photo by Stanley Leary
An added bonus for me was sharing a table with Col. Bill Buckley, U.S. Marines, Retired. Bill and I met a few years ago at a dinner hosted by the Atlanta Citadel Club. Shortly after that dinner Bill and his wife joined our church. He has been a terrific resource for me as I learn the ins and outs of being the mom of an active duty second lieutenant. He is also a faithful member of the Military Ministry, which this month is one year old this month.
Dorie visits with Col Bill Buckley, U.S. Marines, Retired. He is also a graduate of The Citadel. photo by Stanley Leary
I just got off the phone with a Citadel mom in NY, Bonnie Ashley. I first came in contact with Bonnie at the end of her son’s knob year when I was recruiting volunteers for the Citadel Family Association’s Area Rep program. Her son is a senior now.
Our conversation tonight was not about The Citadel, but rather about the devastation the super storm, Sandy, has brought to Bonnie’s area of NY. She is a high school science teacher at Freeport High School. Many of her students and their families have lost everything.
Bonnie and her fellow teachers are trying to help their students by asking for donations of underwear and socks. They have a particular need for sizes that will fit elementary aged children of both genders. There is also a need for diapers. The families have lost everything. They have no access to laundry facilities.
Bonnie has asked for donations to be sent to her. She will deliver the donated items to the schools for distribution. Please consider picking up a package of underwear and socks and mailing them to Bonnie at the address below. If you would like to help financially, please send a check to Bonnie’s address.
Make the check payable to: Freeport Teachers Association, in the memo section put “Sandy Relief Effort.”
Bonnie Ashley
2629 Ricky Street
Bellmore, NY 11710
Can you believe you have made it this far in the semester? By now your vocabulary should include quite a few new terms specific to The Citadel. You should have a level of comfort with your new normal as parents of a cadet.
In the next week your knob will experience their first Thanksgiving dinner Citadel style. The cadets will gather in the mess hall for a family style Thanksgiving dinner. The highlights of the night are the hats made for upperclass cadets by their mentees. Juniors are given hats made of a sheet of poster board and resemble a stove-pipe decorated with the upperclass cadet in mind. The seniors hats can be very elaborate. My sons senior year his mentee made a hat that looked like a tank in honor of his news of being in the Armor branch of the Army. Knobs wear an Indian style head-dress with one construction paper feather and the sophomores wear a similar head-dress with two feathers. Watch for the photos. Each company has a few other traditions that evening. The stories and photos are a lot of fun to hear when they get home.
The tank hat had a working gun in the front that shot out fireworks.
Speaking of home. . . usually parents of knobs are very anxious to have their son or daughter home for a whole week. The knobs are anxious to be home too. Just remember they will also be looking forward to seeing their friends from home. The experience varies for each cadet. Many enjoy seeing their friends, but begin to see just how different their college experience is from their friends. Some feel very different and can’t relate as well to friends who went right to work or are attending a non-military school.
While they have to keep their rooms at The Citadel in decent order those organizational skills don’t always transfer home with them. Don’t be surprised if their room at home looks like a small bomb exploded.
This can also be a time when they begin to question their choice of school, if they haven’t yet. If this happens with your cadet remind them they are almost done with the first semester and they can make it to the Christmas break. Some cadets decide that after first semester they do not want to continue at a military school for the rest of their college career. Others are more determined than ever to stick it out to prove to themselves they can make it. You know your child better than anyone and will have to decide how to proceed if they bring up the subject of changing schools.
If you need help with transportation post a notice to one of the many parent groups on Facebook. You can also call the Cadet Activities office to see if they can help with ride share requests.
Above all else, enjoy your time together. You’ve all accomplished quite a bit in a few short months.
Can you believe you have made it this far in the semester? By now your vocabulary should include quite a few new terms specific to The Citadel. You should have a level of comfort with your new normal as parents of a cadet.
In the next week your knob will experience their first Thanksgiving dinner Citadel style. The cadets will gather in the mess hall for a family style Thanksgiving dinner. The highlights of the night are the hats made for upperclass cadets by their mentees. Juniors are given hats made of a sheet of poster board and resemble a stove-pipe decorated with the upperclass cadet in mind. The seniors hats can be very elaborate. My sons senior year his mentee made a hat that looked like a tank in honor of his news of being in the Armor branch of the Army. Knobs wear an Indian style head-dress with one construction paper feather and the sophomores wear a similar head-dress with two feathers. Watch for the photos. Each company has a few other traditions that evening. The stories and photos are a lot of fun to hear when they get home.
The tank hat had a working gun in the front that shot out fireworks.
Speaking of home. . . usually parents of knobs are very anxious to have their son or daughter home for a whole week. The knobs are anxious to be home too. Just remember they will also be looking forward to seeing their friends from home. The experience varies for each cadet. Many enjoy seeing their friends, but begin to see just how different their college experience is from their friends. Some feel very different and can’t relate as well to friends who went right to work or are attending a non-military school.
While they have to keep their rooms at The Citadel in decent order those organizational skills don’t always transfer home with them. Don’t be surprised if their room at home looks like a small bomb exploded.
This can also be a time when they begin to question their choice of school, if they haven’t yet. If this happens with your cadet remind them they are almost done with the first semester and they can make it to the Christmas break. Some cadets decide that after first semester they do not want to continue at a military school for the rest of their college career. Others are more determined than ever to stick it out to prove to themselves they can make it. You know your child better than anyone and will have to decide how to proceed if they bring up the subject of changing schools.
If you need help with transportation post a notice to one of the many parent groups on Facebook. You can also call the Cadet Activities office to see if they can help with ride share requests.
Above all else, enjoy your time together. You’ve all accomplished quite a bit in a few short months.
Family Day at Fort Stewart, Oct. 2012 photo by Stanley Leary
It’s been a busy month for me. Most of it related to things other than The Citadel or Army mom involvement.We are very close to the deployment date of my oldest son so staying busy is a good thing. I find I am choking up or tearing up at odd times throughout the week.
We did attend his going away party in early October and then visited Fort Stewart for the Casing of the Colors ceremony and family day. I wrote about that experience for the military blog site Off the Base.
Some fun with family at the pre-deployment party. Quite a contrast to the photo at the top of the entry.
There are so many thoughts going through my mind it is hard to decide what to write about now. So much of it is extremely personal. I am an extrovert so many times what is in my head pops out of my mouth with very little screening. In this situation, however, I am more guarded about what I share with a nameless faceless readership.
Fortunately I can channel my anxiety into projects that help not only my son and his battalion but other military families and military families in training at The Citadel.
For the senior Army ROTC cadets at The Citadel it is a time of anticipation. They received their branch notices at a meeting recently. Their parents are now researching the next steps, including what BOLC means. The training for young officers is called Basic Officer Leadership Course or BOLC and is pronounced bullock. Our son attended Armor BOLC at Ft. Benning. The courses for the various branches of service are taught at bases throughout the country. If you have a cadet at The Citadel you can resource with other military parents through the Facebook group, Military parents of The Citadel. Most likely someone there will know something about the BOLC your cadet will go to after graduation.
If you or someone you know is a cadet or graduate of The Citadel and is currently deployed, make sure The Citadel Heroes Project has their APO/FPO address. You can contact Susie Maghakian with the name and address. Her contact information is below. This group of volunteers sends care packages to deployed cadets and grads a few times a year. They rely on the families to send the addresses. They have an immediate need for personal care items, including items for female soldiers, for the boxes that will be packed November 10 and financial support to cover postage. Items received after November 10 will still be sent out to the soldiers. Make checks payable to: The Citadel Heroes Project
Please send your donations to:
Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 171 Moultrie Street, The Citadel Station, Charleston, SC 29409
or if you are sending items via UPS or other carrier use the physical address on campus:
Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 201 Richardson Ave, 171 Moultrie Street, Charleston, SC 29409
Phone: 843-953-5815
Care packages ready to be shipped to deployed cadets and graduates of The Citadel.
There are many nonprofit organizations that support the troops throughout the year. One organization I volunteer with is the Military Families Ministry. Co-founder, Tracie Ciambotti, is also a contributor to the blog Off the Base. She wrote a book called Battles of The Heart for new Army families.
This past August I enrolled in the Level II Comedy Writing Class taught by Jeff Justice. It was just one more way for me to stay busy and positive as we face the first deployment of our oldest son. In the routine I joked about Army Moms and their cell phones. During a deployment they keep them on their person at all times. Just today I was reflecting on how our life will be the next nine months. I imagine there will be times when I tick someone off on line at the grocery store or at an event when I answer my phone at an inappropriate time. I will not apologize if this happens.
The Family Readiness Group leadership at Ft. Stewart will send the contact information soon for anyone who would like to support our battalion while they are deployed. We already know they will need hand warmers, packets of hot chocolate and instant coffee, protein foods, and baby wipes. I’ll post the address to send donations when they send it to us.
Remember, if you are the parents of a deployed soldier it is completely normal and expected to be more emotional while they are deployed. If you do not have a family member in the military, but know someone who does, remember to check in with them and ask how they would like to be supported during this time.
