Month: April 2012

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Supporting a Young Army Widow

Most days I can get by without thinking about my oldest son being deployed to Afghanistan. Today was not one of those days.

Joyce Pettit explains what the knots signify on the patriotic quilt she designed.

This afternoon I had the honor of driving to Griffin, Georgia, with a friend to deliver a prayer quilt to a young Army widow who is about to be a first time mom. Kristen Davis lost her husband, Johnathon, when he was killed in an insurgent attack in Kandahar province.

Joyce Pettit designed and created the beautiful patriotic prayer quilt for the young widow. Joyce is a member of the “Prayers and Squares” ministry at our church. Members of our church prayed for Kristen and her baby while they tied a knot in a ribbon on the quilt. Joyce asked me to come with her today since I am the chair of the Military Ministry at Roswell Presbyterian Church.

A Facebook page called Operation Daddy’s Boy was created so anyone in the community who wanted to support Kristen and their new-born baby could show their support. The shower today was posted to the Facebook page as an open shower that anyone could drop by. The gift table was full of presents and the refreshments were arranged nicely on the table. It was a beautiful tribute and show of support by the community.

Joyce and Kristen show off the beautiful quilt Joyce designed.

We were there just long enough for Joyce to present the quilt to the expectant mom and to get a few photos. Joyce also prepared a folder with the background of the Prayers and Squares ministry so Kristen could read it after the shower was over. Guests kept arriving while we were there. The mood is hard to describe. Everyone was there to support Kristen and her new baby, but I felt an undercurrent of sadness. It was that awkward feeling when people aren’t sure what to say. Everyone was there to celebrate a new life, but at the same time a sadness hung in the air. You could feel the sadness of knowing this little baby boy will not grow up with his Daddy near by.

Most days I can get by without thinking of the danger my own son will face when he is deployed this fall. Today was not one of those days.

My prayers continue to be with all the deployed members of our military and their loved ones at home.

Posted on

Supporting a Young Army Widow

Most days I can get by without thinking about my oldest son being deployed to Afghanistan. Today was not one of those days.

Joyce Pettit explains what the knots signify on the patriotic quilt she designed.

This afternoon I had the honor of driving to Griffin, Georgia, with a friend to deliver a prayer quilt to a young Army widow who is about to be a first time mom. Kristen Davis lost her husband, Johnathon, when he was killed in an insurgent attack in Kandahar province.

Joyce Pettit designed and created the beautiful patriotic prayer quilt for the young widow. Joyce is a member of the “Prayers and Squares” ministry at our church. Members of our church prayed for Kristen and her baby while they tied a knot in a ribbon on the quilt. Joyce asked me to come with her today since I am the chair of the Military Ministry at Roswell Presbyterian Church.

A Facebook page called Operation Daddy’s Boy was created so anyone in the community who wanted to support Kristen and their new-born baby could show their support. The shower today was posted to the Facebook page as an open shower that anyone could drop by. The gift table was full of presents and the refreshments were arranged nicely on the table. It was a beautiful tribute and show of support by the community.

Joyce and Kristen show off the beautiful quilt Joyce designed.

We were there just long enough for Joyce to present the quilt to the expectant mom and to get a few photos. Joyce also prepared a folder with the background of the Prayers and Squares ministry so Kristen could read it after the shower was over. Guests kept arriving while we were there. The mood is hard to describe. Everyone was there to support Kristen and her new baby, but I felt an undercurrent of sadness. It was that awkward feeling when people aren’t sure what to say. Everyone was there to celebrate a new life, but at the same time a sadness hung in the air. You could feel the sadness of knowing this little baby boy will not grow up with his Daddy near by.

Most days I can get by without thinking of the danger my own son will face when he is deployed this fall. Today was not one of those days.

My prayers continue to be with all the deployed members of our military and their loved ones at home.

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The Atlanta Citadel Club

Last night I attended the annual sports gathering, or Coaches Night, of the Atlanta Citadel Club. Head football coach Kevin Higgins and head basketball coach Chuck Driesell were both scheduled to speak. I was encouraged to attend because a few freshman recruits from Georgia and their parents were scheduled to attend as well.

Incoming freshman quarterback, Trey White, and Citadel alum, Joel Thompson, visit after dinner.

It was a fun evening. I had the opportunity to speak with the coaches and other staff who attended. I also met the parents of the freshman recruits.  The real fun came at dinner when I had the opportunity to meet two alumni I had not met before. The conversation flowed and it was amazing the level of common threads we shared as we discussed our professional lives. It was a small glimpse into the network my son, who  “wears the Ring” is a part of now.

Graduation is next week. It is important for current cadets to realize that while they are a part of the Long Grey Line of graduates they must also put some time into cultivating contacts. Attending local alumni functions is a great way to start.

Head Football Coach Kevin Higgins visits with incoming freshman, Harrison Davis.
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The Citadel: Official and Unofficial Facebook Groups and Pages

UPDATED 06/17/2015

Various offices and groups on the campus of The Citadel have their own Facebook pages and/or groups. These pages and groups can provide a link for parents to keep up with what is happening on campus. The following list includes official school groups and pages, but also groups and pages started by cadets, parents and alumni.

If you know of others that should be added, please let me know.

Art at The Citadel

The Citadel Admissions

The Citadel Alumni Association

The Citadel Army ROTC

The Citadel Bookstore

The Citadel Brigadier Foundation, Inc.

The Citadel – Department of Cadet Activities

The Citadel 

The Citadel Football

The Citadel Foundation

The Citadel Graduate College

The Citadel Intramurals

The Citadel Lacrosse Program

The Citadel Republican Society

The Citadel School of Business Administration

The Citadel School of Engineering

The Citadel Sports

The Citadel Sports Network

The Citadel Student Government Association

The Citadel Young Alumni

Citadel Ice Hockey

Citadel Sailing

Citadel SHSS – School of Humanities and Social Sciences

Citadel Sports/Charleston Post and Courier

Citadel Strength & Conditioning

Naval ROTC Unit The Citadel

The Summerall Guard Foundation

Battalion Groups for Citadel Parents (unofficial NOT administered by the CFA)

Citadel 1st Battalion Parents Group

Citadel 2nd Battalion Parents Group

Citadel 3rd Battalion Parents Group

Citadel 4th Battalion Families (Open Group)

Citadel 4th Battalion Parents Group (Closed Group)

Citadel 5th Battalion Families

Area Groups (unofficial NOT administered by the CFA)

California Citadel Parents Group

Georgia Citadel Parents Group

MD VA DC Citadel Parents Group

NC Citadel Family Group

Citadel Fayetteville NC Group

South Carolina Citadel Parents

Texas Citadel Parents Group

NYNE PA NJ Citadel Families (NY, New England, PA, NJ)

Florida Citadel Parents Group

Company  Parent Groups (unofficial NOT administered by the CFA)

Alpha Co

Band Co

Bravo Co

Kilo Co

Lima Co (Parents and Cadets)

Other Parent Groups

Citadel Alumni Grad Dad Advice

Citadel Moms

Military Parents of The Citadel (for parents with cadets or graduates in the military)

The Citadel Parents of the Class of 2016

The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2017

The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2018

The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2019

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The Citadel: Most Common Search Terms

I reviewed the statistics of this blog site today. In my early career I worked in sports information at the college level. The sports information director’s office, or commonly known as the SID office, keeps track of all the statistics for all the varsity sports at a college or university. Looking at stats and trying to interpret them holds a deep rooted fascination for me.

The 2011 Summerall Guards run with the 2012 BVA's the Friday of Corps Day Weekend. photo by Stanley Leary.

When I looked at the search terms used to find the blog I found out of 389 known terms 104 of them related to the Summerall Guards or Bond Volunteer Aspirants. 94 terms had to do with knob year, matriculation day and/or recognition day.  The other roughly 50% had to do with ROTC, general cadet life, and active duty military terms.

The fact that so many people searched for Summerall Guard information and knob year information isn’t too surprising. Both knob year and the Summerall Guards are activities at The Citadel surrounded with mystic and intrigue, mostly by design.

The 4th Class System is designed to make first year cadets learn to follow orders. The knobs are kept dependent on the upperclass cadets for information. Their first year is tough, but they learn to support their classmates and pull together as a team. The system has been in place for years with minor changes. While the knobs are going through their most challenging year their parents are often in the dark as well and end up turning to search engines and the collective knowledge of other parents to help them through.

By junior year some cadets decide to try out to be part of the elite silent drill squad, the Summerall Guards. The cadets who decide to do this are called Bond Volunteer Aspirants (BVA).  They aspire to be Summerall Guards and voluntarily go through a very demanding training regiment. By junior year many of the  BVA’s hold a high rank in the cadet chain of command which is like having a full-time job on top of a full-time course load. The BVA training is demanding both physically and mentally. It is not unusual for normally communicative cadets to have little communication with their families during this demanding year. All types of rules surround what knobs can and can’t know about the BVA’s and Summerall Guards which builds the mystic and fascination with the entire process.

Class of 2015 knobs head to lunch on Matriculation Day.

While quite different in their dynamics, knob year and BVA year are very similar. They are both bound by years of tradition and time-honored secrecy about the process. So it is not surprising that parents and friends turn to search engines to gain knowledge about both processes.

I’ve written about both knob year and the BVA/Summerall Guard process. Links to the most viewed blog entries and pages follow.

The Citadel: Preparing for Knob Year, Class of 2016

BVA’s and Summerall Guards: Cuts Day, Mardi Gras and Corps Day

Recognition Day the Best Day of the Year for Knobs

Information for Parents about the BVA’s and Summerall Guards

For Parents of BVA’s as you wait for Cuts Day

Special Weekends: Parents Weekend, Homecoming, Corps Day, Recognition Day

Matriculation Day: Getting Ready

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The Citadel: Recognition Day and Graduation Gift ideas

Two very happy members of the Class of 2011 at the end of Recognition Day, 2008.

Four years ago after Recognition day for the Class of 2011, I was in the Gift Shop in Mark Clark Hall trying to decide on a gift for my son before we left town. While I was in front of the company t-shirt section several of his Bravo Company classmates walked in. They were there to buy themselves a company shirt. My hunch was right. After a year of being a knob buying items with your company logo on it is a right of passage for 4th Class Cadets. I threw in a company decal for good measure.

One privilege the 4th Class cadets can take advantage of is ordering food to be delivered. A gift card to their favorite would be appreciated.

You can’t really make a mistake when giving a cadet a present. They never really expect one in the first place. A few months ago I posted links to various places to find gifts for cadets in the post Finding Gifts for your Citadel Cadet.

Items from the gift shop with their company logo are great gifts for 4th Class Cadets, but any Citadel logo item is appreciated throughout their 4 years at the school.

For graduation a lasting gift is the Lifetime Membership to the Citadel Alumni Association(CAA). It is $400 for Junior and Senior cadets. The price increases to $500 the first year after graduation then it is $700 after that. The CAA also has a number of gift items for sale.

A new Lifetime member of the Citadel Alumni Association. The CAA hosts a nice luncheon and presentation ceremony the day before graduation. photo by Stanley Leary

A diploma frame is a great gift. The diploma frames at the gift shop range in price from $180 – 205 and includes the school name and/or seal. That may sound expensive, it really is the going price to have something mounted and framed.

Some parents have given a case for their seniors sword. You can find them at the gift shop or a variety of online military supply outlets.

The Citadel Gift Shop carries a nice variety of gifts and jewelry.

The online store of Carolina Cadets offers cadet themed ornaments and nutcrackers. (She is offline now but will be back in 2015)

If your cadet will be serving in a branch of the military a gift appropriate to that branch is also a good idea.

Please share your gift ideas and web links in the comment section.

Summerall Guard Nutcracker from Carolina Cadets.
Carolina Cadet Christmas ornament.
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Social Media for Military Families

Army ROTC cadets at The Citadel take their oath at the commissioning ceremony the day before graduation, May 2011. photo by Stanley Leary

I am still learning about being the mom of a new second lieutenant in the U.S. Army. Since my son is so busy in his new role, and because he has never been one to provide a lot of details, much of what I learn comes from web searches. The past few years I have also cultivated friends who are veterans of various branches of the U.S. Army.

One friend who is a fellow Citadel parent and a retired Army officer suggested I subscribe to a news source called Stand-To!: A daily compendium of news, information, and context for Army leaders. This site is helpful for getting a glimpse into the latest updates from the U.S. Army.

For general information and support several web sites are helpful. Goarmyparents. com was started as a personal blog of an Army mom. The site features forums, articles, pay charts, military lingo and a weekly chat.

The closed Facebook group, Army Moms, is a terrific place to connect with other Army moms to receive support and learn from the members there. You need to send a request to join the group.

Army Officers Friends and Family Support is a group that formed after LDAC 2010 (Leader Development Assessment Course). Each year the Public Affairs Office at Joint Base Lewis McCord do a great job of keeping friends and family updated about what happens at LDAC, including the address to send letters, scheduling of the exercises, etc. The LDAC 2012 Facebook page is here. Check the About page for links to their blog, photos and Twitter account.

I found the Airborne School Facebook page very helpful while our son was there. They post updates on the jumps and graduation information. Maps area available on their photo page.

Dorie and her daughter congratulate Citadel cadet, soon to be Air Force officer, Justin Wilson, right before his commissioning ceremony. May 2011 photo by Stanley Leary

Milblogging.com  is an internet database for organizing military blogs. a great place to spend time to learn from the contributors about their experiences.

An extensive list of Facebook groups for the U.S. military can be found on their official pages:

U.S. Air Force Social Media

U.S. Army on Social Media

U.S. Coast Guard Media Outlets

U.S. Marine Corps Social Media

U.S. Navy Social Media Directory

You can also go to the Topics section of WordPress and enter the military topic you are interested in to find blog posts. I’ve contributed to the military blog site, Off the Base for over a year. The site is maintained by Bobbie O’Brien of WUSF Public Media in Tampa, FL.

Armor BOLC graduation at the Maneuver Center of Excellence Building at Ft. Benning. photo by Stanley Leary.

Please take a minute and post links to the military social media groups you find helpful.

Airborne School graduation. November 2011. photo by Stanley Leary
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Atlanta Citadel Club: 2012 Annual Muster

For the past three years I served as the chair of the Georgia Citadel Parents Group. As the chair, I was the liaison with the local alumni club and attended several of their gatherings.  The Atlanta Citadel Club is a great group of alumni who are very dedicated to the school and interested in nurturing current cadets as they progress through the school. The alumni members always make me feel welcome to the gatherings.

This past week’s annual Muster was no different. The event was held at a local restaurant. According to the alumni association website, “The first annual Citadel Alumni Muster was held in 1998. It was an Alumni Association initiative designed to facilitate an annual coming together of all alumni of the institution, with the purpose of recognizing those in the long gray line of the South Carolina Corps of Cadetswho have passed away during the preceding year.”

Michael Escoe, '73, leads the Annual Muster of the Atlanta Citadel Club, March 29, 2012.

I arrived on the early side to register and say hello before the formal program began. At the designated time the club president, Andy Frey, announced it was time to go outside for the Muster, led by David Robertson, ’90 playing the bagpipes. The gathering was held on a green in the center of a restaurant complex where they had a nice gazebo surrounded by a grassy area. Restaurants with outdoor seating surrounds the gazebo area. I can only guess that their patrons wondered what was going on as 30+ alumni and guests gathered in the space.

Michael Escoe, ’73, club Vice President, led the program. After he read the names of Deceased Alumni from Georgia from the past year, David Robertson played Amazing Grace on his bagpipes as the attendees observed a time of silent remembrance. I was struck by the contrast of the restaurant and traffic noises in the background and the beautiful sound of the bagpipes. The list of 15 names included graduates from the Class of 1941 to the Class of 2007. I read over their names again praying for their families and friends. Once the song was finished we recited the Cadet Prayer followed by The Alma Mater.

Michael Escoe reads the names of the Georgia alumni who passed in the last year. David Robertson, '90 waits to play Amazing Grace on the bagpipes.

The rest of the evening was a good-natured gathering of friends new and old. I ran into some recent graduates who know my son, and met many new friends. I am grateful for this group of graduates who helped me greatly the past several years in my quest to understand cadets who take “the road less traveled.” It is not the choice I made for my college experience, but I’ve gained a deep appreciation for the students who take on the challenge.