24 years ago this evening I went into labor with my first-born son. I was already 10 days past my due date and was ready to go. He was breach, but my doctor was going to allow me to deliver naturally, until he went into distress. With in minutes I was prepped and off to the delivery room for an emergency c-section.
Nelson spent a few days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) after he was born.
Nelson came into the world in a dramatic fashion. He was tough though. At over 8 pounds he looked like a monster baby next to the others in the NICU. He had to be hooked up to monitors and receive oxygen for a few days. He recovered nicely from his exciting entry into the world and has sought adventure ever since.
He is celebrating his birthday this year far from home. I am writing this entry the evening of March 24 here at home, but it is well into March 25 where he is now. We all miss him.
This afternoon our daughter expressed her love for her brother in a birthday video for him. They are ten years apart. When she was a toddler she called him NaNa. The name has stuck, at least at our home. Her video made me tear up.
We look forward to the day we can celebrate his birthday at home.
The color guard moves forward during the Casing of the Colors for the 3-69 AR at Fort Stewart, October 2012.
I am writing this entry filled with mixed emotions. The plan was to write about my amazing weekend in Charleston visiting with long time friends and cadets whose parents couldn’t make the trip to town. Then the news out of Afghanistan came in. I’ve taken a couple of days to let the news sink in.
The warm glow of a weekend filled with reunions and great conversations turned to the chilling realities of war. I could tell by the locations of the report that my son wasn’t in the helicopter or on the base where the soldiers were KIA. Just to be sure he was OK I sent a message to him asking him to just send an “I’m OK” message. He did, and pretty quickly too.
Even though I heard from my son my mind still went to the scenario of hearing an unexpected knock on our door. The knock by uniformed representatives of the U.S. Army that the families of those KIA this week have received. I don’t know why I allow myself to go to these dark places. Perhaps it is a way of empathizing with the families who do receive these knocks.
Today the news reports are being released with the names of the deceased. One of whom is in my son’s battalion. My prayers are with his family, his platoon and battalion members and his friends. The other soldier who died is the friend of my high school friends son. Both are graduates of West Point. The news of the soldiers killed in the helicopter crash is just beginning to be released as the families are notified.
Once again the war hits too close to home. My prayers are with the loved ones of these fallen soldiers.
Friday, February 9, I arrived at Arlington National Cemetery for what I knew would be an emotional afternoon of paying tribute to a young sergeant and graduate of The Citadel, Sgt. Aaron X. Wittman. Sgt Wittman was killed in action in Afghanistan by small arms fire, January 10, while serving with the 3rd Battalion, 69th Armor Regiment, 3rd Infantry Division. My son is in the same battalion, but a different company. Both Sgt. Wittman and my son are graduates of The Citadel.
The night before my hosts for the evening told me what to expect when I arrived. There would be no way for them to prepare me for what I found on my arrival, three long rows of cars all waiting to pay tribute to Sgt. Wittman. I had a hand quilted Gold Star banner donated by Memories in Stitches to deliver to the wife of the battalion commander who in turn would present the banner to Mrs. Wittman. I knew the turn out would be significant, but I could not have imagined the sea of cars and people in front of me.
Mrs. Davenport holds the Gold Star banner made and donated by Memories in Stitches.
A quick call to Mrs. Davenport and the guards allowed me to move closer to the front of the line. I passed the banner to Mrs. Davenport and made sure to take a photo graph for the lady who made the banner. Shortly later we were in our cars and moving slowly through the cemetery for the beginning of the graveside ceremony.
I have been to the cemetery before but each visit I am moved by the experience. As we snaked through the various sections I took time to say prayers of thanks for the life and sacrifice of each person there represented by a white marble head stone.
The line of cars had to stretch about a mile long. A silent procession of cars wound their way into place. We parked on both sides of the street and walked up a small hill to where the horse and carriage, the honor guard, and the military band awaited the arrival of the casket. I was struck by the sheer numbers of cars and people and how quiet it was there. An occasion jet passed over head. You could see other smaller services about to start as we took our place at the top of the hill. I am told about 3 or 4 services are held each day there.
Cars lined the drive leading up to the place where the ceremony began. Mourners walked u the hill in silence.
As I approached the crowd gathered at the top of the hill I quickly met two Citadel moms toward the back of the assembled crowd. One mom I have known for a few years.The other I had not met before but we are Facebook friends. We waited for the ceremony to start.
As a soldier killed in action Sgt. Wittman was given full military honors. As a member of the Patriot Guard Riders I have attended a few military funerals at the Georgia National Cemetery, but had to refer to the website for Arlington National Cemetery to learn what it means to have full military funeral honors. The web site for the cemetery says this about the service, “enlisted members who die as a result of wounds received in action and are being interred/inurned at Arlington National Cemetery are eligible to receive full military funeral honors, to include an escort platoon, a colors team, a band, and a caisson section.”
The ceremony began quietly. As we all looked on a team of pall bearers approached the hearse to remove the casket and proceeded to place it on the caisson (horse-drawn carriage). There was a caparisoned (riderless) horse there as well. The ceremony proceeded. The band played a very moving song. I don’t know the name of it, but it was beautiful. We were all touched by the honor and dignity to the entire ceremony.
At the designated time the band proceeded to the front of the caisson and led the procession down the hill to the grave site. There must have been between 100-200 people in attendance. I saw representatives of the media take a respectful place at a distance from the proceedings. The Washington Post published a write-up and photos in the paper the next day. I knew a few friends who wanted to attend and I tried to take a couple of discrete photos to capture the dignity of the service.
We stood in silence as the ceremony began under a small open tent. While we couldn’t really hear what was being said we all knew when it was time to bow our heads in prayer. I don’t remember the order of the service, but when the 21 gun salute and bugler began to play Taps,we all felt the gravity of the loss of this fine young man.
Since 2007 when my son began at The Citadel I have learned quite a bit about the fellowship between the cadets and graduates of the Military College of South Carolina. Some say the fellowship between the graduates who wear the ring is stronger than any bond out there. I have experienced this bond in a variety of settings.
February 9 at Arlington National Cemetery was the most moving display of honor and respect I have ever experienced. I did meet a few of Aaron’s classmates that day, but the majority of graduates assembled did not know him, or his family, but they ARE his Citadel family.
My prayers are with the Wittman family.
Rest In Peace Sgt. Aaron X. Wittman.
God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.
Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.
In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.
I visited another culture yesterday, Fort Stewart. Since I did not grow up around the military that is how I felt when I entered the base. It wasn’t that the language or people were different, but how to navigate the different rules and culture came crashing together for me while shopping in the Exchange.
I met the Family Readiness Group leader at the Exchange. The first sign that I was out of my element happened pretty quickly. I was sitting outside the Exchange in what I thought was the front entrance. A few minutes later my contact walked up and said, “I thought I should check over here. I was waiting on the other side, the front of the building.” Oops.
This was my first visit to an Exchange on a military base. It was like a mini mall. My shopping companion knew exactly where to go once we were inside. We passed kiosk shops with framed sports photos, ladies wigs and other items. We arrived at our destination, a store filled with uniforms and supplies for soldiers.
Before my trip to Fort Stewart scores of friends and people I have never met sent me checks to go toward supplies for the soldiers of the 3-69 AR. Many of the soldiers are in remote areas without access to the internet or a PX. Getting needed supplies is difficult, so are showers. We were told before they left that our soldiers will need us to send items like soap, deodorant, etc. more than snacks and goodies. When I heard there were some soldiers who needed socks and underwear, etc. I put the word out and people responded. To date I have received $1,310 for this project.
Once inside the Exchange I handed over the cash, holding some back to go toward shipping. Since I do not have a military ID all the goods needed to be purchased by my contact. We decided shopping at the Exchange was better than ordering online with free shipping. The prices are so much better on base we could send more to the soldiers this way. We are buying for two platoons, about thirty men.
We started in the underwear and sock section. Standing in front of a wall of socks we began to read labels. We settled on one style labeled “Military Fatigue Fighter” and features “Graduated Compression” and is made with “Wick Dry & Scentry Technologies.” While neither of us really knew what “Scentry Technologies” actually means after reading the description of the sock we decided on this style. We opted for a mix of large and extra-large socks. It was on to t-shirts and underwear.
Standing in front of the t-shirts we had fewer decisions to make. There was only one choice in the type of shirt to make, cotton or polyester. Then it was a decision about the size mix. After getting enough for two per men, it was on to the underwear.
The standard issue briefs were only $2.05 a piece. While most of the guys we knew prefer boxer briefs we opted to go with the standard issue because the boxer briefs were over four times the price.
By this time our two shopping carts were pretty full. My shopping partner was keeping a running total on her smart phone.
We turned to the cold weather gear. Because the soldiers are in an area that is very cold now we opted for the “ThermaForm Neck Gator.” The label touts, ” A unique construction of layered fibers that create a body-conforming climate capsule to keep your neck and face warm and protected from winter weather,” Plus it had moisture control. I am learning that wicking and moisture control are important features for soldiers.
After a quick check of our running total we had enough money to buy something in the three dollar range. We opted for foot powder and were on our way to check out.
I made a slight detour to look at the Teddy Bears dressed in uniform. Our 14-year-old daughter came to mind. She misses her oldest brother and would love one of these bears. I settled on one with its cover pulled down to cover its eyes, the same way our soldier wore his cover at The Citadel, plus it had a distinctive nose like our guy.
On to the register. The ladies were very nice. One rang us up while the other bagged the items. To our surprise we came in at $995, not the $1,100 we thought we had. It was on to the PX to buy breakfast bars and oatmeal. The MRE’s provided the needed calories, but we thought the soldiers would appreciate something that doesn’t come from a standard issue box.
The PX was a big grocery store with great prices. We made quick work of the breakfast aisle loading up our large cart with boxes of nutritious bars and oatmeal. A little girl about 4 years old just stared at our cart as we walked down the aisle.
The check out line was like any other store. The lady working check out reminded me I was not at home in an off base grocery store. As she was ringing us up she asked if we needed custom forms for the USPS. We didn’t tell her why we were buying such a huge amount of bars and oatmeal, she just knew. It turns put she receive the stop mail notice for her son and had a stack of forms in her car. She gave the young guy bagging our groceries her car keys to retrieve the forms she no longer needed. One Army mom helping another.
With my little Toyota Corolla now filled up with items to ship to Afghanistan, we drove to the battalion headquarters office to see the Family Readiness Group Support office. I wanted to stop in to say hello and to express my condolences to the rear detachment staff after the death of Sgt. Wittman of the 3-69 just a week before.
After a quick visit and a few photos, I was on my way off base. I took a little time before I pulled out to reflect on the day. I only spent a few hours on base, but I had learned so much. I had to let it sink in a bit.
As I approached the Main Gate, I saw the “Warriors Walk” a tribute to Fort Stewart soldiers who lost their life in during Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom. I had to pull over to pay my respects. I’ll write about that experience in my next entry.
Dorie visits with the Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader and the FRSA.
We made it through our first Christmas with our soldier deployed. While we missed him, we did manage to have a very nice holiday with friends and family. Like many people I tend to become reflective this time of year. I thought I’d share some rambling thoughts and reflection about this past Christmas.
Two years ago Christmas day the first blog post I wrote for the military blog site Off the Base was published. The Making of a Military Mom started me on a journey I could never have imagined. When Bobbie O’Brien first asked me to contribute to the blog as the mom of an Army ROTC cadet soon to be officer my first response was, “Thank you, but I am not a writer.” Little did I know when I finally agreed to give it a try that my entries about our experience at The Citadel would be so well received. Eventually I posted my own blog. I’ve met so many wonderful people through this blog either in person, on Facebook, or through email. We have a very supportive community.
This Christmas a group of friends joined me and donated items to be sent to my son’s platoon for Christmas. We heard via Facebook the gift bags arrived right before Christmas. I was thrilled to hear all the boxes we had sent finally arrived. When I asked for photos he told me they would be coming. I checked email and Facebook several times a day hoping to see photos of our guy. A few days before Christmas our daughter asked me what I wanted most for Christmas. I told her, “I’d like a picture of soldiers in Afghanistan.” What a wonderful gift to receive Christmas morning in my stocking. While it wasn’t the picture I expected, it was one of the most thoughtful presents I have ever received.
This picture was in my stocking Christmas morning. A gift from my daughter.
She also gave me a t-shirt with the little blue fish, Dory, from Finding Nemo. (In case I forget my name I can look at the shirt.)
In case I ever forget my name, I can look at my shirt. A gift from our daughter.
A few days after Christmas an email arrived with three photos. Two of the platoon with the gift bags we sent and one of our guy in a hat we sent to him as a present. It made for a great start to the New Year. The guys look good and we could make out a few of the children’s Christmas pictures in the bags we sent.
Delta Company Christmas photo.Delta Company Christmas photo #2
New Year’s Eve 2012 marked the 19th year of working in the press box as a volunteer for what is now called the Chick-fil-A Bowl. No matter what changes I am going through in a given year the one constant for 19 years has been this activity. It is like a family reunion each year. My favorite person to catch up with is a gentleman our daughter calls Mr. Walter. He works for the Georgia Dome security during the bowl and his station is right next to the information table in the press box where I work. He is a wonderful, caring, man who is a wiz with statistics of all kinds. He was profiled in the Atlanta Journal Constitution in the past few years. He is an Atlanta celebrity among event goers since he works at multiple venues. I always enjoy our time catching up together at the Bowl. It is also fun to see the various reporters and others who attend the game.
Dorie and Walter catching up during their annual reunion.Members of the press getting ready for the start of the Chick-fil-A Bowl.
Before Christmas I put word out that the soldiers in our son’s battalion needed some basic supplies. While they had the basic necessities some are stationed in remote areas and could use a few more basics. The response has been amazing! Checks began to arrive right away. I am told more are in the mail now. To date I have received $1,200 to go toward supplies. Several other people said checks are on the way. I am working with the family readiness group to determine what is needed and the items should be on their way next week. An initial shipment of military cold weather socks are on their way to our son’s platoon along with another shipment of the coveted soft toilet paper.
I am overwhelmed with these gifts in addition to the many people who have sent boxes to our son and his platoon. Many of these people I have only met a few times, or only know through online networks like Citadel parent Facebook groups. Some are teachers and have sent boxes of goodies and needed items along with letters from children. My son tells me the guys really like the boxes I send the best. I really think he means the boxes of items I and our friends send. In a very real way I feel we are a small part of a huge family that includes: Citadel families, Army families, childhood friends, college friends, church friends, and a few caring people who read the blog and I have never met.
This past week a package arrived from a Citadel mom. It included a card and check and a very special gift for my daughter and me. A picture frame with two patriotic angel pins. Tears came to my eyes when I read the card. The sender is a military spouse. She has a first year knob at The Citadel and has given me some very helpful tips the past few months. She told me that while the Citadel parents are like family that the military family is even larger.
A beautiful gift from a Citadel mom who is also a military spouse. She is also our angel.
I am so blessed to have so many wonderful and supportive friends. I am beginning 2013 with the firm knowledge that our family is blessed to have such a wonderful group of people surrounding us with their care and their prayers.
Never again will I look at toilet paper the same way.
My son sent me a private message on Saturday morning. I had missed his Skype call the day before. He doesn’t contact me often so I wasn’t sure what was up. It turns out the toilet paper I ordered through Amazon.com arrived. I sent 96 rolls, enough for each member of his platoon to have a package. He told me the guys were treating it like gold. They received a number of boxes this past week, but the toilet paper was, “the hit of everything.”
I told my son to let his guys know I’ve got their a$$es covered. I am pretty sure he rolled his eyes when read my comment.
This past Sunday was Gaudete Sunday, the time in Advent when Christians reflect on joy. How interesting that something we take for granted, like toilet paper, would bring such joy to a bunch of deployed soldiers. When I go to the grocery store this week and come home with toilet paper I guarantee you my family will not be overwhelmed with joy. It is something they just expect to have. The only time it would become a topic of conversation is if I had forgotten to pick some up and we ran out.
Right after I corresponded with my son I heard from the Family Readiness Group leader for the battalion. I had offered to help gather needed items for not only my son, but anyone in the battalion. It turns out quite a few of the soldiers are in need of socks, t-shirts, underwear, baby wipes, and hand warmers. They are in remote areas without access to laundry facilities. It is getting quite cold and they need these basics. Many of the guys have not had the opportunity to shower. With no laundry facilities our soldiers end up having to burn their dirty socks and underwear with the other trash.
Who among us rejoices over waking up getting dressed and going to work in clean clothes? I know I will look at my everyday routine a bit differently now. I vow to appreciate what I used to take for granted. I have a nice home, with heat, running water, and indoor plumbing. I sleep in a comfortable bed, and have clean clothes to wear each day. I even have a variety of clothes. We have food in the pantry and the refrigerator. If we run out of anything we can find the needed items at a variety of stores near by.
I will never look at a roll of toilet paper or a trip to the bathroom the same way again.
If you would like to help provide basics to some of our deployed soldiers from Fort Stewart, please email me: [email protected]
Chelle and Dorie visit with their soldier during Family Day at Fort Stewart. photo by Stanley Leary
We are about a month into my sons deployment. For the most part it isn’t too different from him being away at his stateside base or away at college. At least we pretend it isn’t most of the time. You see, you try not to dwell on the fact that he is in a war zone. He isn’t just away at work or college. He is in a dangerous place.
We are family members of a 1 percenter, a member of the U.S. Military. One percent or less of our population serves in a branch of the U.S. military. That means in our town, that is far from a military base, very few of our friends and acquaintances know what it is like to have a close family member in a war zone. For the most part people are supportive when they learn he is in a war zone. But at least once a week I have a less than supportive conversation, usually with an acquaintance, but sometimes with someone who should know better.
At a veterans day luncheon at our church a few weeks ago a veteran and JROTC teacher asked me what my son is doing in Afghanistan. When I told him the general description he said, “Wow you must be worried. My son was over there, but he didn’t have THAT kind of assignment. I’d be worried all the time if I were you.” Definitely not a helpful or supportive comment.
In the grocery store a neighbor asked how we are doing. I told him I was there buying things to send to my son. His response? “I thought we weren’t sending anyone over there any more.” Really? I couldn’t believe he didn’t know we are still sending troops.
These interactions reminded me of the many blog entries I have read written by spouses or family members with deployed soldiers. I can now relate to their posts in a whole new way.
Most of the time I don’t allow my mind to go to the scarier scenarios. But when I do I know I am not alone. Many military moms before me and now have the same fears. I’ll list a few to give you an insight into what a military family carries with them under the surface.
My son, and many, many others, have to wear armor and carry a weapon just about every where they go. It isn’t for show. They never know when they will need to protect themselves, and the people they are with, from an attack.
I used to like surprise visits. Now I dread the thought of an unexpected knock on the door. If there is a death in a war zone an uniformed team from the Army will visit the next of kin to let them know the horrible news. If you are going to visit a friend with a loved one in a war zone, call them first to let them know you are coming.
Related to the unexpected knock is the late night phone call. Don’t call late at night unless it is an emergency. We hope when the phone rings late at night it will be our soldier calling to say hello. We dread that it will be bad news.
Another upsetting scenario is the unexpected dark car in the driveway or in front of our house. Again, if you are going to visit, call first let me know what kind of car you drive.
Spouses or parents of deployed service members should have an up to date passport. If there is a severe injury it will help to get out of the country quickly. In some cases they will expedite a passport. I don’t want to think about that need, but I do want to be prepared.
Just FYI. . .as part of his job my 20 something son had to detail what his wishes are if he should die in the war zone. We had to discuss his wishes. While it wasn’t an easy conversation to have, I am glad to know what my son would want. Most non-military parents will never have this kind of conversation with their children when they start their first job out of college.
I know people who have no experience with a military member try to relate our experience to what they have experienced. You really can’t. Maybe certain aspects are similar, but unless you have a family member who has to carry a weapon to protect themselves while away on a trip, it isn’t the same.
I have a young teen at home who misses and worries about her brother. Please be sensitive to her feelings, and mine, and don’t express your worries or feelings about the war. It doesn’t help.
We appreciate offers to pray for us and our son. Sending us patriotic emails with photos of flag draped coffins and a note about their sacrifice is not helpful.
Patriotic music and other songs that remind me of my son will make me tear up. Allow me those moments.
I will keep my cell phone with me at all times, on vibrate when appropriate. I never know when my son may call. I will answer the phone no matter what is going on if I see it is him.
Please understand that at different times I can talk about the situation and other times I may cry. Crying is a normal reaction to what we are going through. Don’t stop reaching out and being supportive because you are uncomfortable when I get teary. Stay and listen. Hugs are good too, at least for me. Some people need a few minutes to stay in their fear and grief and don’t want a hug. If in doubt what to do to support someone, ask them what they need to feel supported.
For the most part my friends and extended family are supportive. This past week I found out the number of men in my son’s platoon. I had a week to collect and send items for everyone so they would get there for Christmas. The out pouring of donations and financial support was amazing. Within a week we had enough snacks and gifts to fill a gallon size zip lock bag for each person in the platoon, plus four other large flat rate boxes of items.
Friends from several different aspects of my life donated items and money. A few I have never met. One person, a friend of my son, came to help sort and pack everything. It was wonderful for my daughter and I to spend time with one of his contemporaries.
One local Citadel mom is a school teacher. She had her 3rd grade students write notes and draw pictures. We included one in each bag for the platoon members. She also provided hot chocolate, instant coffee and baby wipes for the care packages.
Other Citadel families are sending their gifts directly. I smile when I think of their caring and support.
If you’d like to be helpful to a family whose loved one is deployed ask them how they would like to be supported. It varies with each family. Our son is single. That adds a different dynamic than a married soldier. We have a good idea of what he is doing, but can’t tell others. Please don’t be offended if we can’t tell you everything. We can say enough that you should be able to know we need a friend.
The holidays will be over soon. The talk of giving slows down and people move on to their exercise routines and weight loss discussions in the new year. Our soldiers will still need gifts of essential items and home-made goodies as reminders that we appreciate their willingness to serve in the all volunteer armed forces. Mark your calendars for early January and send a card letter or package to someone who is deployed.
If you would like to learn more about military families and how to support them during deployment, I am including some links:
Laura and Chelle sort the donated goodies for the platoon.The goodies were sorted and put into gift bags. Each soldier will get three bags of goodies.The three goody bags went into a zip lock bag with a note from the children and a card from us.
Boxes packed and ready to go to our soldier and the battalion chaplain.
As I wrote last week, this time of year holds some wonderful memories, but also the grief of losing both parents to cancer at this time of year. To counter act the feelings of loss I’ve developed positive ways to deal with my grief. This year with a son deployed my coping mechanism has turned to efforts to support the troops.
The Military Ministry of Roswell Presbyterian Church (RPC) played a big role this year in the outreach efforts. Members of the committee donated Christmas stockings filled with goodies to send to the battalion chaplain to be distributed to soldiers. We joined the efforts of Military Families Ministry in sending out the stockings. Military Families Ministry was co-founded by a friend and fellow contributor the blog Off the Base, Tracie Ciambotti. If you don’t have the address for a deployed service member, you can contact the nonprofit to find out how boxes can be sent. Their web site offers several ways in which groups or individuals can support deployed service members.
Christmas Stockings for soldiers from the Military Ministry of Roswell Presbyterian Church.
In addition to the stockings the Prayers and Squares ministry made and prayed over 100 prayer squares. The 6″ x 6″ squares of fabric have 5 strings or ribbons attached to them. When people say a prayer for the recipient they tie a knot. As I mentioned in a previous post the squares were prayed over at the veterans day luncheon and also by the middle school youth group at RPC. Each square was put into a ziplock bag with a card explaining what the knots symbolize. Half the prayer squares went to the deployed soldiers and the other half went to Fort Stewart to be given to family members of the soldiers deployed. Letters of thanks from the middle school youth went into the box with the prayer squares as well as hot chocolate packets, tea bags and snacks bars.
My daughter helped me get the boxes to the post office before Thanksgiving. Most were addressed to the chaplain, but one went to our soldier. In his we put warm hats, scarves and gloves along with his requested brands of special items. We also included some special items.
Prayer Squares made by the Prayers and Squares ministry of Roswell Presbyterian Church.
For years our daughter would visit the Santa at the mall near our house. Now that she is 14 this tradition has changed a bit. Instead of dressing in her best Christmas dress she wore her “Fangirl” t-shirt, hoodie, and bracelets. I was also in the photo this year with my Hero On My Arm “Army Mom” messenger bag. A copy of the photo went in my letter to our soldier. Our daughter wrote a special letter to her brother and the reindeer Santa gave him went in the box too. I choked up a bit when we visited with Santa and I heard Chelle tell him, “Please keep my brother safe.” When Santa asked her what she wanted for herself she said, “That’s all I need.”
Chelle, Santa and Dorie go over their very short, but important, Wish List.
Opportunities to support military families are all around you. One of the nicest things you can do is to ask the family member how they need to be supported. For us, sending boxes to our soldier helps us feel like we have a big support network. We are collecting items this week to send 14 Christmas care packages to soldiers with our soldier. After a quick Facebook post I heard from several people who would like to contribute. Letters, cards and pictures drawn by children are a terrific way to say thank you for your service. We hope to get the boxes in the mail by December 3. Please let me know if you would like to contribute to the mailing. We are looking for hot chocolate packets, instant coffee packets, baby wipes, beef jerky, dried fruit leather and other individually wrapped snacks.
While I am grateful for the many people who support us, I am still astounded at the people who have no idea we have thousands of soldiers deployed right now. I haven’t heard negative comments as much as ignorance of what our soldiers are doing. I am learning to use these comments to motivate me even more to be one more person getting the word out to support the troops.
Hell week is over at The Citadel and classes begin tomorrow. The knobs and other cadets will begin to fall into their regular routine. Along with the cadets, the parents will also find their new daily rhythm at home.
Brother and sister meet for the first time in months on Parent’s Weekend, 2007
For parents of the Class of 2016 that will most likely include checking the school photos each day to try to catch a glimpse of their knob. The parents of the Class of 2013 will be finalizing their travel plans for Parent’s Weekend which is also referred to as Ring Weekend since the qualified seniors receive their rings Friday afternoon then are presented at the Ring Ceremony Friday evening. Each day until Ring Weekend the knobs may be asked by seniors to tell them how many days until they receive their rings. There is a certain comfort in knowing the annual routine at The Citadel remains basically the same over the years. The timing of an event may change from one year to the next, but the basic flow remains the same.
Now that I am an Army mom I miss that routine and general flow of events. We are learning that life as an Army family doesn’t include predictable events. It is more like hurry up and wait then learn to adjust when orders change without warning. Dates are suggestions. Once you feel fairly certain of a date, like deployment or their return, you can’t share that with anyone.
I miss the routine and predictability of the school year at The Citadel. The anxiety I felt over Hell Week doesn’t compare to the fuzzy feeling in my stomach now that we are preparing for a deployment. Even though I know my son was prepared well for his new job as an Army officer, the emotions of sending a child to a dangerous area still catches up with me. I’ve learned not to fight the emotions. It is normal to feel emotional when a loved one will go into harms way. I just try not to let it over ride all the other feelings of pride, love, and joy over the person he has become.
One way I am dealing with this uncertainty is to help new families of Citadel cadets learn the ropes of what I know can seem like a foreign culture. I am also taking the Level II comedy writing class taught by Jeff Justice. Laughing is a great way to help deal with worry and anxiety. Our graduation show is August 27 at The Punchline Comedy Club in Sandy Springs. My routine from the Level I class was well received, hopefully I’ll control the butterflies and have a decent showing next week too.
