Dorie Griggs – Page 5 – Dorie L. Griggs, M.Div.

January 23, 2014

A Caring Community

The Boat Center at The Citadel. — The picnic tables by the boat house. My favorite place on campus.

When my oldest son went off to college I never expected to end up with life long friends as a result, but that is what happened at The Citadel.

By the end of my son’s knob year I volunteered to help lead the Georgia Citadel Parents Group. That position meant I was part of the Citadel Family Association. many of the parents I met through this organization back in 2008 are some of my close friends now. We called ourselves the YaYa’s then and now.

Thanks to the development of parent Facebook groups, that are not officially part of The Citadel Family Association, many more parents are meeting virtually before they finally meet on campus.

The Citadel Alumni network are known for supporting fellow members of the Long Gray line of graduates. The parents of cadets at The Citadel are proving to be a very close group too.

As an official volunteer while my son was a cadet, I had the privilege of being a caring presence for a few families who experienced some of life’s most challenging situations, including serious illness and death of a close family members.

I’ve seen the alumni network jump to the aid of a cadet with sudden financial needs. Parents of cadets have too over the years. The alumni have a very organized structure, but for the parents there really isn’t a structure in a formal sense. They are members of various Facebook groups. As a need arises someone will post a note, then the offers of help and prayers begin to pour in. This grass-roots support happened after hurricane Sandy when a Long Island mom, who is also a teacher posted a need. Each year leading up to ring weekend calls for support for cadets who cannot afford their ring are posted and the challenge is met.

Volunteer support is also given in family emergencies. Offers of prayers, visits to hospitals and campus are all carried out quietly by individuals and groups who hear of a need a step up to meet the need. I don’t know of another college or university that has this type of camaraderie among the parents of their students.

Parents do need to be careful though. The cadets are students at a military college. The 4th Class System is designed to train the students to become leaders, which means learning to solve problems on their own.

A recent article in Forbes addresses the problems that can arise when parents get too involved and don’t allow their children to learn through their mistakes, the title is 7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders. It is harder for parents of cadets to get involved with their day to day life, but quite a few parents do stay a bit too connected to the day to day decisions than is healthy for their cadet’s leadership development.

The Citadel website lists several options for families that find them self in an emergency situation. All parents should have the HELP web page bookmarked just in case it is ever needed. Only you know your student. If at any time you are concerned about your cadet or what has been reported to happen on campus always call the appropriate department. If you are not sure what the right department would be contact the Ombudsperson’s office they can help you and keep our conversation confidential if you would like.

We call ourselves The Citadel Ya Ya's. We had a little reunion at Vendue Rooftop in 2010. — We call ourselves The Citadel Ya Ya’s. We had a little reunion at Vendue Rooftop in 2010.

January 16, 2014

The Citadel: Tips for Commencement Week 2014

It may only be January, but it is time to plan for graduation in May. It may even be a little late to start if you plan on renting a home for the week. Links to hotel information and other places to stay are in this previous post. It is always a good idea to call the area hotels directly and ask if they offer a special rate for Citadel families.

The schedule for the week is available on the school website under Commencement 2014. Many families come into town Wednesday or earlier and make a week of it. The seniors are out of the barracks before the other cadets so count on them staying with you. Graduates who are commissioning and/or who are Legacies should see this link for their special schedule.

As every other cadet event, the cadets have practice during the days for all the events from the commissioning ceremonies for military contract graduates, to the long grey line, legacies, and commencement. Their evenings are free.

A friend gave me a heads up about graduation week. While we all want to spend time with our soon to be graduate, it hits the seniors sometime leading up to graduation that they will no longer be able to see their buddies by walking out of their room in the barracks. They try to get as much time with their friends as possible before they spread across the globe in their various new roles.

Some families get together with others and host parties for companies. Others have small family gatherings. It is totally up to the individual families. I wrote about the little things i did graduation week to say thank you to various people on campus that I came to call friends.

If you are just getting started on your plans, a place to stay should be at the top of your list. Meal planning is next, especially if you will have a large group dining out. For help in finding facilities the Charleston Convention and Visitors Bureau is a great resource. The area hotels have restaurants and meeting facilities, but they can also offer suggestions.

The attire for the baccalaureate ceremony, commissioning ceremony, the parade and garden party is listed as casual, but many families dress a little nicer than just casual. Of course you need to dress for the weather too. In 2011 it rained for the Friday afternoon long grey line parade. We ended up so soaked we skipped the reception at the President’s home. In all the photos I’ve seen from other years the ladies wear light sun dresses, nice slacks and similar outfits. For the commissioning ceremony many wear jacket and tie as would match the attire the new officers will be wearing. Most people don’t have the time to change between events so they wear something comfortable, but nice for all the events.

You will want to plan on dinner Friday, and a late lunch Saturday after graduation. Dinner Saturday night is another opportunity to plan a gathering. The recent graduates may also have various parties they will want to visit. Like everything else over the four years, the events outside of the planned school functions, will vary with each graduate. A good resource, in addition to the Charleston Convention and Visitors Bureau, for restaurants is Zagat’s.

Gifts ideas for graduates are infinite. Some families give gifts to their cadet’s friends. Some knobs families give senior mentors gifts. It is totally up to the individual as to what you give or if you give a gift. A nice card is always appropriate. The Citadel Alumni Association also has some nice gifts available through their site.

The Citadel Bookstore sells diploma frames. Blazer buttons, and various jewelry items are also a nice gift.

The Citadel Alumni Association offers a steep discount on their Lifetime Memberships for junior and senior cadets. It makes a terrific graduation present. They host a special luncheon/presentation gathering Thursday afternoon. The new Lifetime members are presented with their plaque during the event.

A nice gift for a graduate to give their mother is the special miniature Citadel ring or pendant. It is pricey so they may need help from dad to purchase it for their mom.

I’ll include a few links below to previous posts that include other gift ideas and links.

The cadets spend four years waiting to graduate, then spend the rest of their lives trying to get back. Enjoy the week of events and take lots of photos!

If you would like to get together with other families in your cadets family and hire a photographer, I happen to be married to a very good one, Stanley Leary. You can see some of his Citadel photos here. Of course there are others in the area too.

My Field of Dreams

“The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America

has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a

blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time.

This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all

that once was good, and that could be again. Oh people will come, Ray.

People will most definitely come” –Terrence Mann – “Field of Dreams”

Tonight marks the 20^th year that I will ring in the New Year in the press box of the Chick-fil-A Bowl, formerly the Peach Bowl. In a way it is my baseball that Terrence Mann spoke so eloquently about.

My life has changed in ways I could never have imagined back in 1994. When I first was asked to help out the Peach Bowl staff it was a smaller event than it is now.

I came in as the vice-chair of press operations under the chair game operations. I worked closely with the associate director of the bowl, moderating press conferences, helping to distribute the credentials and setting up the press box.

A few of the plaques I have recieved as a volunteer. — A few of the plaques I have received as a volunteer.

Now that they have added more staff and have a more steady volunteer crew, I mainly set up the information table near the entrance and assist the two staff members who over see the every aspect of the press room and photography area. It is a much larger operation than it was 20 years ago.

When I began this adventure I was separated with two small boys. I was the director of marketing and development at a church retreat center and hoped to enter seminary.

20 years later I am married. The two small boys have grown into handsome young men. Our daughter is a high school freshman. I attended and graduated from seminary, changed jobs a few times, and moved 4 times.

My husband now has a contract position with Chick-fil-A as a result of me first meeting his boss in the press box.

No matter what happens during the year, come the end of December, I know where I will be.

Happy New Year!

Visiting with Gary Stokan at the FCA breakfast

Each year a crew of volunteers helps to distribute the statistics to the working press.

December 23, 2013

Winter Furlough and First Year Cadets

Carolina Cadet Nutcracker and an Army Nutcracker purchased at Target. carolinacadet.com

Winter Furlough for first year Citadel cadets can bring with it a mixed bag of emotions. While they are very happy to be home and away from the 4th Class system, they also miss their fellow knobs. The friends from high school who went on to non-military colleges can’t relate to the regimented life of a cadet. The process of moving into adulthood and the life of a Citadel cadet is in place by December of knob year.

The downside of Winter Furlough is the news that comes from friends who have decided they want a different college experience and will not return to The Citadel for second semester. While I am sure it is a tough decision not to return, in some ways hearing a good buddy won’t be there second semester can really upset the most devoted knob. I bring this up in case anyone reading this thinks they are alone so they will know they are not.

Some cadets don’t return because of grades. For others, they do not return because of financial reasons. Others decide that they want to attend a non-military college. Whatever the reason, it is hard to leave good friends.

For the knobs who face second semester without a friend, returning in January can be even more difficult. The beginning of second semester is tough for many cadets of all classes. They have spent a month with friends and family, enjoying good food lots of sleep and long hot showers. They return to the cold dark barracks, early morning PT in the damp cold temperatures of the winter. Many first year cadets who haven’t questioned their sanity of choosing this type of college experience, will have their doubts in January and February.

I mention this now as a heads up to parents of first year cadets so you’ll know that if you get a call in January complaining about the school, you’ll be aware that this is normal. As I’ve written in several posts, you know your child the best. If at anytime you have concerns about them and their experience at The Citadel, call the ombudspersons office. They will keep the call confidential and hear your concerns.

How a cadet did academically first semester can be a cause for celebration or concern. Congratulations if your cadet made the Dean’s List (3.2) or Gold Stars (3.7 or higher). The school will publish a list of the cadets on each list. There will also be the announcement of the Commandant’s List and President’s List cadets sometime in January. The President’s List cadets and Gold Star recipients are recognized during the awards parade in January and are invited to a reception at the President’s home after the parade.

If your cadet did not do well first semester it can be a wake up call to reorder priorities. I’ve heard plenty of stories of cadets who didn’t do well their first semester and went on to earn Gold Stars. The academic support office and the individual academic departments can be a great help to cadets, but they must seek the assistance. The sooner they ask for help in a semester the better.

No matter how they did academically, they have made it through the toughest challenge a college freshman can go through and that is cause for celebration!

For now, enjoy your cadet and their stories.

Best wishes to everyone for a wonderful Holiday.

December 4, 2013

Overcoming Melancholy at Thanksgiving

I haven’t posted in a while. Now that we are past Thanksgiving, 2013, I can begin to move forward.

Thanksgiving 2013 marked 25 years without my mother and 20 years without my dad. Both died the week before Thanksgiving five years apart from each other. The first few years after they died were the toughest. As the years progress the holiday would go by and I would remember the dreary anniversary after the fact.

This year it hit me though. Not enough to put me into a tailspin of grieve, but enough to throw me off my normal activity level. Fortunately I didn’t have to add deployment anxiety on top of grief this year. My oldest son is stateside for now and not scheduled to deploy any time soon.

I learned a lot from both my parents. Something my mom told me in the weeks before she died stays with me. She told me, “People want to help. You just have to tell them how.” This conversation took place in the context of her needs for transportation to medical appointments. My sister carried the lion’s share of the load since she lived near them. My mom wanted us to know we should give people a task if they offered to help.

Jachai reads the letter form Mark Wood as JaVair looks on. photo by Stanley Leary — Jachai reads the letter form Mark Wood as JaVair looks on.
photo by Stanley Leary

I learned through the illness and death of both my parents to appreciate people while you are with them. Let the people around you know you appreciate them. It is said the biggest regret people have is not telling a loved one you care.

My mother’s words came back to me this Fall. As the result of letting someone know about a need, I had the privilege of bringing good news to a young man and his single mother. It was the perfect way to move out of the fog of grief and move into gratitude.

Jachai is a friend of our daughter’s. He is a gifted musician. Through is orchestra program in middle school he met Mark Wood a violinist and founder of the Mark Wood Rock Orchestra Camp and the Mark Wood Music Foundation. Mark met Jachai and gave him a scholarship to his camp. This past November Jachai was invited to appear with. Mark and nine other students in a concert in Salt Lake City.

A few weeks before his trip someone broke into his sister’s car and stole his viola. When I heard the news of the stolen viola, my mother’s words came to me. I emailed the staff at the Mark Wood Music Foundation and told them about the stolen viola. Within a couple of weeks I received word that the foundation would give Jachai a new viola. They asked me to present it to him on their behalf.

He was thrilled beyond words with his new viola. photo by Stanley Leary — He was thrilled beyond words with his new viola.
photo by Stanley Leary

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving I called Jachai’s mom, JaVair, and asked her to bring Jachai and meet me half way between their home and ours. I assured her it was good news.

My husband and daughter joined me so we devised a plan to surprise them. Stanley and Chelle went in to the restaurant before me to set up their camera and video camera. Chelle text me when they were set.

I walked in carrying two viola’s Chelle’s and the new one. The look of surprise and appreciation was priceless. The rest was caught on video and still images. You can see Jachai and JaVair in this video.

All it took was an email and the kindness of others took over from there.

Wouldn’t it be a great world if each day we looked around us and asked, “What can I do to help my neighbor?”

A wonderful way to start Thanksgiving. Photo by Stanley Leary — A wonderful way to start Thanksgiving.
Photo by Stanley Leary

November 11, 2013

An Army Mom's Reflections on Veterans Day 2013

Our soldier is in the second row.
photo by Stanley Leary.

We passed an anniversary last week. It was one of great emotional significance to our family. On this Veterans Day I thought I’d share these reflections from my Army mom perspective.

Last week marked the anniversary of my oldest son’s first deployment to Afghanistan. He is home, safe, and awaiting his orders for the next stage in his Army career.

Even though he is stateside, and I know he is just fine, I wrestle with the emotions of the past year. When I hear the National Anthem played or watch a patriotic video I relive the emotions I felt during my son’s deployment. Especially today as images of our veterans are flashed on television, and written about in the newspapers and social media, my emotions are right at the surface.

Being the family member of a combat veteran brings with it a unique set of emotions. We are proud of our soldier, but anxious for their safety. A huge part of me hopes he will never be deployed again. But my wishes are secondary to my son’s desire to do what he has trained years to do, defend our country.

I watched a beautifully done piece by Brian Storm. It is about Starbucks effort to hire veterans. It isn’t really a piece that would bring other non-military people to tears. This morning, sitting at my kitchen table watching that 13 minute piece, I had a lump in my throat.

At one point in the video was a clip of a returning group of soldiers. I was immediate brought back to a day this passed July when our family and a few friends waited anxiously for our soldier and the rest of his battalion to return from their nine month deployment.

The General addresses the assembled crowd of family and friends. photo by Stanley Leary — The General addresses the assembled crowd of family and friends.
photo by Stanley Leary

I had never experienced such a mixture of emotions before that day in July. I wanted to laugh, but my throat was too tight. Tears formed as they marched in, but then we had to wait for a series of addresses, songs and rituals.

My stomach did somersaults as the General spoke a few words before the crowd was unleashed to rush toward their soldier. Then, then came the moment when my daughter and I sprinted to our soldier for the BEST HUG EVER.

The mind is a funny thing. In the simple act of remembering that moment I am brought to tears.

So today, Veterans Day, 2013, I will honor our veterans, but in my own quiet way. This year, and probably for the next several years, my emotions are too close to the surface to attend public events.

I don’t mind people seeing me tear up in public. I know my tears honor the brave men and women who serve. I also know my emotions are not necessarily the same as another military mom.

But for today, I need to take care of myself and not dwell in that dark scary place family members dwell in when their loved one is in harm’s way.

A video by my husband, photographer, Stanley Leary, of the Homecoming, July 2013.

Our family is together again. photo by Stanley Leary — Our family is together again.
photo by Stanley Leary

Our family welcomed Nelson home from his first deployment in July 2013. Photo by Sarah Kohut Harrell — Our family welcomed Nelson home from his first deployment in July 2013.
Photo by Sarah Kohut Harrell

October 27, 2013

Supporting the Troops With Care Packages

The Citadel Heroes Project. Care packages ready to be shipped to deployed cadets and graduates of The Citadel.

We are approaching Thanksgiving time, and the time to send care packages to troops for the holidays.

At The Citadel a great volunteer effort was started several years ago to send boxes to deployed cadets and graduates, The Citadel Heroes Project.

I’ve written about this effort before. The time to send donations for their holiday mailing is now. Susie Maghakian of the Krause Leadership Center on campus is the staff coordinator for the project. Theresa Chamberlain is the parent of a graduate and is the current volunteer coordinator of the program.

For a list of suggested items you can visit the Citadel Family Association page for the project, just note that the contact information is out of date for Susie.

Please send your donations of items for the boxes, or a check for the postage made out to The Citadel Heroes Project, to:

Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 171 Moultrie Street, The Citadel Station, Charleston, SC 29409

or if you are sending items via UPS or other carrier use the physical address on campus:

Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 201 Richardson Ave, 171 Moultrie Street, Charleston, SC 29409

[email protected]

Phone: 843-953-5815

People always ask what should be included in care packages. A general rule is not to send items that have a short shelf life. Mail can be delayed and items like home-baked good soften arrived spoiled.

If you Google “what to send a deployed soldier” quite a few sites with suggestions will pop up. Give 2 the Troops is one of many sites you will find that offer a list of items. I’ll include a few suggestions here, but please note this list is not exhaustive. If you know the person you are sending items to, ask them what they would like and would appreciate. Some units have ready access to day to day items, others do not.

Saran Wrap: I have recently learned that including a roll of saran wrap in a care package could help save a soldier’s life. In a recent email from a Citadel grad who is working as a contractor in Afghanistan he wrote: “Its use would be as an emergency field medical expedient dressing to wrap hastily around the chest of a torso-wounded teammate to prevent death by ‘sucking chest wound.’ Some SF medics I work with have recommended this technique. I’m sure it would have other practical uses as well.”

Snacks: Individual packets of trail mix and nuts, granola bars, protein bars, breakfast bars, fruit leather, jerky, hard candy, chewing gum, small packets of cookies, individual serving containers of noodles. If they have access to a microwave the individual meals are great.

Beverage powder: Individual drink packets to be added to water – all flavors; hot chocolate packets; instant coffee; powdered creamer

Sauces: Dipping sauces from your local fast food store; hot sauces

Non food items: soft toilet paper, baby wipes, Q-Tips, in the winter month hand warmers, disposable razors, feminine hygiene products-if you know there are women in the unit

Personal care items (do not include in the same box as food): shampoo, shaving cream in squeeze tubes, liquid body soap, deodorant, sun screen

Homemade goodies: Cake in a Jar. You can find several recipes for this online. See this link for one recipe.

Other items: School supplies, like pencils, paper, crayons. These items are given to the local school children; wrapped candies

Socks, Underwear, T-Shirts : If you know the soldier and their sizes these items are appreciated. Covert Threads is a great resource for good socks for soldiers. THey have a buy 10 get three free policy which makes the socks even more affordable. It is a great option for groups sending items out.

Packing tips:

Take items and individual packets out of the box they came in and put them in a zip lock bag. You can fit more in a care package this way and the ziplock bag can be used for other things once the solder has the box. Plus, they have to burn their trash.

Do not mix scented items with food items.

If you try to send home-baked goods vacuum pack them.

Add some fun items like a deck of cards, photos of friends and family, letters and drawings from children, fun toys from the dollar store to blow off steam

I'm inventorying the supplies before packing them for shipping. Note the packets of oatmeal and breakfast bars (on the left side of hte photo) are repacked into ziplock bags. THe cardboard wrapping on the socks was removed before shipping them to Afghanistan. The clothing items were packed in vacuum bags so help get more into the boxes. photo by Stanley Leary — I’m inventorying the supplies before packing them for shipping. Note the packets of oatmeal and breakfast bars (on the left side of the photo) are repacked into ziplock bags. The cardboard wrapping on the socks was removed before shipping them to Afghanistan. The clothing items were packed in vacuum bags so help get more into the boxes.
photo by Stanley Leary

The United States Postal Service has a great webpage with instructions on how to ship to APO/FPO/DPO addresses.

See this list from the USPS of items not to send.

Several organizations support the troops year round. I will list a few here that I have contacted myself:

Military Families Ministries

Operation Gratitude

Red Cross Holiday Mail for Heroes

USO

October 22, 2013

Supporting Cadets Through Philanthropic Giving

I am often asked about how to help cadets at The Citadel who have unmet financial needs. The Citadel Foundation has quite a few avenues available for anyone who would like to help. I asked Lori Tuttle of the foundation office to send along the names of few funds that would directly impact cadets. This is not a complete list. If you have a specific interest I encourage you to call the foundation offices.

Of course donating to an unrestricted fund like The Citadel Fund is always welcomed. The description of the fund can be found on the Donate Now webpage:

The Citadel Fund offers every member of the college’s family an opportunity to support and enrich student life. Unrestricted gifts have an immediate and enduring impact on campus priorities. By giving to The Citadel Fund, each donor helps to address the college’s most urgent needs, providing the flexibility to support its most critical objectives.

Gifts to The Citadel Fund continue the college’s longstanding tradition of providing cadets and graduate students with an exceptional education in a disciplined environment, deep bonds and lasting friendships, and above all, the ability and confidence to face whatever challenges come their way.

Every dollar makes a difference, every day, in the lives of each cadet and graduate student on campus.

I’ll post a few of the many cadet related Funds here. Each department on campus, as well as special interests, have funds to which you may contribute.

Go to The Citadel Foundation page and click on the red Donate Now button. To find cadet related funds enter “Cadet” in the “Fund Description” search window, or “Academic” for various related funds. You can also select a department or office from the department drop down menu to see the funds available in each department.

The highlighted names below will bring you to the donation page for that fund.

1. Commandant of Cadets Discretionary Fund

a. Provides ongoing resources for the Commandant’s department.

2. Cadet Relief Fund

Provides financial resources to respond to ongoing requests from students who display immediate financial need. Preference is given to applicants who, without aid, could not remain enrolled through graduation.

3. Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics

The Krause Center of Leadership and Ethics coordinates, promotes, and enhances the development of curricular and co-curricular programs in leadership and ethics that support The Citadel’s vision to lead in the development of principled leaders.

4. Academic Endowment

The Academic Endowment Fund plays a critical role in underwriting academic programs at the college. Each year, a distribution of the Academic Endowment Fund is made to the college for academic enrichment opportunities for faculty and students. A gift to the Academic Endowment can provide funding for:

Research and teaching support for faculty
Academic program enhancement
Technology upgrades and improvements
Recruitment and retention of students

5. Career Center Fund

Supports career planning and expanding preparation programs and services provided to cadets, CGC students, and alumni of The Citadel.

6. Cadet Activities Fund

The Cadet Activities department is dedicated to providing a rich and robust college experience to all cadets. Through an exciting array of programs and events, cadets are encouraged to socialize, donate their time, experience cultural events, participate in clubs and much more. All of this is oriented to rounding out the education of cadets and helping develop principled leaders for our nation.

A rather new fund is the Palmetto Ring Fund. From the donation web site:

Each year, The CAA is approached by senior cadets, parents, or others to ask for assistance in purchasing their Citadel Ring. With the current cost of a Citadel Ring exceeding $1,000.00, affordability has become an area of concern. Confirmation of need varies on a case-by-case basis. The CAA then reaches out to local clubs to help raise the money to assist the cadet in purchasing the Ring. The CAA cannot predict the sustainability of any external, private efforts, thus we cannot plan for those to cover all cadet shortfalls. When all of these efforts have been exhausted, The CAA has purchased a ring using general funds. As the need for assistance has grown, so has the need to create a more formalized process for approving, funding, and accounting for these Rings and their recipients.

The Summerall Guards and other groups also have a fund you can support. They rely on your support to help with their expenses.

To see if there is a fund for a group you would like to support, just enter a word into the “Fund Description” search window.

Many people ask, why give? The following is an answer to that question provided by The Citadel Foundation on their webpage titled Why Give?

The Citadel’s mission is to educate and develop its students to become principled leaders in all walks of life by instilling core values of Honor, Duty, and Respect in a disciplined and intellectually challenging environment.

Accomplishing this mission will require substantial additional resources, together with a continued commitment to efficiency, a focus on top priorities, and a determination to work hard. Gifts from individuals, companies, and organizations provide resources that will be used to recruit and retain outstanding students and professors, provide them with state-of-the-art technology and facilities, and enrich campus life through athletic and cultural activities.

Remember, if you have any questions, contact The Citadel Foundation staff.

October 21, 2013

Navigating The Citadel Website

This blog began in the Fall of 2011. My oldest son graduated from The Citadel in May of 2011. After chairing the Georgia Citadel Parents Group for three years as well as serving as the Area Rep coordinator for the Citadel Family Association for a couple of years, I accumulated quite a bit of helpful information for parents. A blog seemed like a great place to post this information so any searching for Citadel related topics could find the information. The initial information was taken form the document I used to share with Georgia parents which is also on the CFA website under CFA Benefits titled “Survival Tips.”

After I posted the initial information I did not visit the blog site for about six months. When I did check on the stats for the site, it turned out some days the blog had over 300 hits. Then emails began coming in from parents of incoming cadets. That is when I posted a Facebook group for Parents of the Class of 2016. There is now a group for Parents of the Class of 2017.

The intent of these groups is to help families prepare for knob year and teach them how to find information on the school website. Ideally, after knob year, each parent will learn the ins and outs of the cadet year. After knob year the groups for parents become a place for the parents to post photos, and share stories.

As with many sites that post information, some readers would rather request the answers from a fellow parent instead of learning how to find the answers. The groups are manned by parents of graduates. It is important to note these parents volunteer their time. All of the parents of graduates had to learn about the 4th class system on their own. There were no Facebook groups in 2007 and most of 2008. The goal of these groups is to teach new parents how to find information on their own so they will no longer need help from the volunteers.

The first tip for new parents is this, The Citadel is a military college. The cadets are to learn to handle their own affairs. Parents are needed for support, but should not try to “fix” any problems.

Parents should encourage the cadet to seek solutions on their own. If a problem arises a knob should use their chain of command to find answers. If it is an academic problem, speaking to their professor, then the academic support office is what they should be encouraged to do.

If it is a matter a cadet does not want to share with their chain of command several resources on campus exist and can be found on the H.E.L.P. web page.

The second big tip for new parents is to use the search window on the citadel.edu web site. Just about everything you need to know as a parent can be found in this way. I will list the top web pages parents should read below.

Remember, the links may change from year to year. If you enter the name of what you are looking for into the search window on the main web site you should find the current link.

You can also go to the webpage the school put together called simply, Parents.

A-Z Sitemap – Use this link to see an alphabetical listing of various departments on campus.

Annual Events page – includes information for the big weekends including Matriculation Day

Cadet Activities – This office handles the details for the knob’s trip tot he beach, Ring Ceremony schedule, Cookies for knobs program, Host families.

Citadel Family Association – A volunteer group of parents that help with Matriuclaiton Day. They also have company and area reps as well as the Nice to Have List for knobs

Information Technology – this page includes computer recommendations and IT support information

New Cadet Information – Part of the Academic Affairs page – lists helpful informaitn for new cadets and includes links for Parents

Office of the Commandant – a great page to book mark.

Operations and Training page
Training schedules – see the weekly schedule for the Corps of Cadets
Training modules – A variety of links on this page including the PowerPoint presentations knobs will go through during their first week.
H.E.L.P. – A list of emergency help numbers
Returning Upperclass Information – includes the Yearly Planning Calendar, Parking Information, Furlough and OneCard information
Cadet Regulations – includes a copy of the Guidon and other cadet books.

Parade schedule is listed under the Visitor tab on the home page

People Search – Enter the name of your cadet, faculty or staff member to see their contact information, including their campus mailing address.

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Cadets during an October parade at The Citadel

September 28, 2013

A "Mamarazzi" Learns How Music Can Heal

Dorie AKA "Mamarazzi" with the members of Ghost Town — Dorie AKA “Mamarazzi” with the members of Ghost Town

Last night I took my 14-year-old daughter to the Bryan Stars Ghost Stories with Ghost Town concert at the Masquerade in Atlanta. I’ve driven by the Masquerade dozens of times, but last night was the first time I went inside.

We arrived early for the VIP session. We’ve done this before for other concerts. You pay for a VIP ticket and it gets you into the venue early to meet the bands (s) and hear them play a song or two. Photos and autograph’s are a must during this time. Last night I finally gave a name to what my role is at these events. Instead of Paparazzi I decided my name is Mamarazzi. It’s fun to follow my daughter as she meets and greets the members of the band and makes friends with the fellow fan girls.

Waiting to enter the VIP session of the Bryan Stars Tour

I learned a while ago that these bands do more than make music. They can be a life line for stressed out teens and young adults. I’ve heard from several fans that the music they like and the bands they follow have saved their life. Many of these concert goers have relayed how the music and the band members helped them stop their destructive behaviors, like cutting.

Chelle enjoys the music of Ghost Town during the VIP session

Unfortunately too many parents don’t take the time to understand what music means to their kids. Many parents are too quick to judge the music as the cause for the anxiety and depression teens feel, when in fact the music is what speaks to them and gives them hope.

I am still learning about this phenomenon. Back last winter a fellow mom of a Citadel cadet came to Atlanta for a concert promoted by the organization To Write Love on Her Arms. The mission of to Write Love on Her Arms states:

TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS IS A NON-PROFIT MOVEMENT DEDICATED TO PRESENTING HOPE AND FINDING HELP FOR PEOPLE STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION, ADDICTION, SELF-INJURY, AND SUICIDE. TWLOHA EXISTS TO ENCOURAGE, INFORM, INSPIRE, AND ALSO TO INVEST DIRECTLY INTO TREATMENT AND RECOVERY.

The concert we attended at Center Stage in Atlanta last winter was filled with people of all ages and genders. It was obvious to me that the attendees were there to hear the artists performing, but also to express their appreciation for the care and concern these artist show to their fans.

At the Bryan Stars concert at the Masquerade last night I had the chance to meet Kevin the lead singer of Ghost Town. He told me he encourages his fans to make a new friend at the concert. He agreed when I asked him if he too has heard how music helps fans who are struggling.

Kevin of Ghost Town poses with Chelle during the VIP session before their concert.

Chelle met a new friend at the concert. They are showing off their new shirts.

I watched the fans light up during the VIP session. Then as we waited outside for the concert to start we met a few fans who had VIP passes but arrived too late. Manny, the drummer for Ghost Town walked by. I asked his if he would say hello to these young women who missed their opportunity for photos. He not only stopped to say hello and take photos with them, he went inside and brought them their signed posters and lanyards. But mostly importantly, he spent time with them, talking.

Manny, the drummer for Ghost Town, takes a selfie with his fans.

I have a new admiration for these young artists. They live a very grueling life. They are on the road every day living out of vans and buses, getting sleep in short spurts, and eating on the run. Their fans adore them and they appreciate their base, taking the time to really visit. I’ve seen this happen at other concerts. The members of Late Nite Reading, and Farewell, My Love were the first band members I watched reach out to their fan base, including my daughter. Their YouTube video’s, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram accounts help connect them in a way bands of my day never could. I wrote about them in the post, A Fan Girl’s Mom Says Thanks.

Chelle with the members of Ghost Town during the VIP session.

My hope is that more parents will take the time to talk to their kids and learn why they like the music of their favorite bands, instead of making judgements based on the sound or look of a group. It could make a huge difference in the life of their child. To Write Love on Her Arms has a great section of their website for people who would like to learn more about the issues many young people (and older ones too) are struggling with, see this link titled Learn.

In a seas of arms I can see my daughters arms because of all the band bracelets she wears.

The "Merch" tables during the concert. — The “Merch” tables during the concert.

Chelle shows Manny her "Grumpy Cat" Face. — Chelle shows Manny her “Grumpy Cat” Face.

To see my photos from the concert click on this link.