Seniors in the Class of 2008 march in the Long Gray Line.
The 2013-2014 school year is drawing to a close. The knobs are no more and exams are right around the corner. The Class of 2014 can tell you the days and probably the minutes until graduation. The Class of 2018 are just beginning their early preparations for CSI and Matriculation Day. I’ve decided to list the advice by class.
To the parents of the Class of 2018.
I know right now you are preparing for high school graduation. It is an overwhelmingly wonderful time. Your soon-to-be knob is probably not thinking too far ahead. Trust me when I tell you the best gift you can give your soon to be knob, is their plain toe black oxford shoes. The best thing the soon-to-be knob can do for them self is to wear the shoes over the next few month to really get them broken in. Foot troubles that first month cause many knobs to miss out on activities.
Join the parent group on Facebook for the Class of 2018 parents. You will meet other new parents and a few parents of graduates are in the group to help answer your questions. Be careful what you post to other Facebook groups and pages. Gushing about your soon-to-be-knob on a public Facebook page is not a good idea. Let your family and friends know that advice too. Set the privacy settings on your Facebook page to Friends. When school starts and you see your knob in a photo don’t tag the photo. You can download it and post it to your personal page. Learn to use the search window on this blog and also on the school web site. The Citadel has a great website and includes just about all the information you’ll need to know over the four years.
Your cadets just finished the toughest year they have probably gone through in their young lives. Many cadets are so excited to no longer be part of the 4th Class system that they begin to get lax with their studies. Remind them it is a college they are attending.
Sophomore year is also referred to as knobmore year. They are no longer knobs but they are on the low wrung of the upperclass ladder. Even if they have rank, they are the lowest officers. Know that at some point sophomore your cadet they may again question if it is all worth it. They don’t question in the same way they did knob year, but it can happen.
Help them stayed focus on their school work. This year they have a little more freedom and will slowly become more like other college kids. Don’t be surprised if they do not spend their open weekends coming home.
To the Parents of the Class of 2016.
Junior year is a year of pretty major changes. The cadet officers have much more responsibility. They are used to the system and really are very similar to other college kids by now. Junior year at The Citadel has a few unique opportunities.
Some cadets decide to be Bond Volunteer Aspirants, or BVA’s, the group that tries out to become Summerall Guards. This means they are volunteering to go through some of the toughest months of their life. They may have rank, but are treated like knobs when they are with the current Summerall Guards. If your cadet decides to be a BVA know that they will have little to no time to them self. Let them be the ones to contact you. Remind them to keep their studies up.
The second half of their junior year they will receive blazer privileges. They will also have a ring sizing and an opportunity to try on their ring. See the Citadel Alumni Association page for more information on the requirements to received the ring.
Senior year is right around the corner. If you haven’t started a fund for the ring purchase start one now. The ring price depends on the price of gold. The past few years that means just over $1,000. Moms, if you want a ring, you better let your cadet know now. They run around $600.
The the Class of 2014 parents.
Congratulations. I am sure you are experiencing a mixture of emotions. Enjoy graduation week. The school has posted all the information for the week on the Commencement 2014 webpage.
If you can arrive in town early to see the various activities on campus. An award ceremony takes place on Thursday. This year the luncheon/reception for the new Lifetime members will be held on Thursday at lunch time. The baccalaureate service is Thursday afternoon.
Be sure your camera batteries are charged up for all the events. It goes by in a flash. The photos will help you relive this exciting weekend.
For parents of cadets who will commission into a branch of the military, arrive to the chapel early for the ceremony. After the ceremony the newly commissioned officers will leave the chapel and go outside to render their first salute. You will become a Blue Star family that day. Blue Star Mothers have chapters across the country.
This photo taken at graduation shows the time honored tradition of tossing your cover in the air once the president dismisses the class. This photo could be taken in any year, but it is from May 2011.
NOTE: Use the search window of this blog to find previous entries on a variety of cadet related topics.
In less than two weeks the class of 2017 will go through Recognition Day. In 40 days the class of 2014 will join the long gray line of graduates. The parent Facebook groups are lighting up with posts related to these two huge events in the life of a Citadel cadet.
I get the most questions from parents of freshman and seniors each year. The first year parents are entering a year full of foreign words and rituals. The senior parents are excited about Ring Weekend then graduation. Sophomore and junior year are just not that busy for parents. The cadets slowly become more like other college students. On their time off they aren’t as focused on spending time with family. They begin to develop a social life in Charleston and spend their time off with their buddies.
Sophomore year is referred to as knobmore year for a good reason. They are no longer knobs, but they are the lowest officers in the cadet chain of command, or have no real status among the upperclass cadets. It can be a tough year for many. I have even heard cadets say that they miss knob year when they didn’t have to think about how to order their day. It was done for them that first year. I don’t believe any cadet would really want to go through another knob year. The best thing to do this year is keep your grades up.
Junior year the cadet officers are carrying higher rank and responsibilities. Over 100 juniors each year decide to be Bond Volunteer Aspirants (BVA’s) in the hope of being a member of the Summerall Guards. That process is all-consuming. Parents of BVA’s should expect them to be busy most of the time with either school work, officer duties or BVA duties. Let them contact you. If you don’t hear from them in a while, just know they really are that busy.
The 2015 Summerall Guards during their first performance of The Citadel Series.
Juniors in general, BVA or not, are busy. They are fully into their college years. The social life continues to pick up. For many of the Army ROTC cadets they are preparing to attend the Leader Development and Assessment Course held in the summer. Cadets who will enter the various military branches participate in summer programs. The non-military cadets are looking for internships in the field they hope to work win when the graduate.
Since we are toward the end of the year I’ll mention a few end of year tips for each class:
For the 4th Class cadets two questions I get each year at this time is, What type of gift should I get my cadet? and Do they really have to be out of the barracks before 7 am on graduation day?
The answer to the first question is, a gift is not necessary, but is always appreciated. A company T-Shirt from the bookstore is the most welcomed gift as it is a sign they are a full member of the Corps of Cadets. Any gift reflecting their status as a full member of the Corps of Cadets is welcomed.
The Class of 2008 joins the Long Gray Line of graduates.
The answer to the graduation day question is, yes, unless your cadet has duties at graduation, they have to be out of the barracks by 7 am graduation morning. The Corps of Cadets marches in the Long Gray Line parade Friday afternoon. After the parade they turn in their dress gray uniform and get their rooms cleaned up. If your cadet can’t leave before 7 am, they have to wait with their things on the quad of the barracks. Most cadets will find a local family to go to if they have a late flight out that day. Parents, if you can, try to arrive early Friday afternoon to see the Long Gray Line parade.
For many sophomores cadets it is the last summer they will have where they aren’t focused on post graduation activities. Making, and saving, money is the primary focus. Of course each cadet is different. Some end up taking advantage of the summer abroad programs or other school related offerings.
This year LDAC will be held at Ft. Knox instead of Joint Base Lewis McChord. Much of the information online has not been updated to reflect the new location. The Ft. Knox Public Affairs Office has confirmed that they will post a LDAC 2014 Facebook group sometime in May. They will also post to the WarriorForge blog site in May. The WarriorForge Twitter account has not been updated since August of 2013, but I assume that, too, will start-up again in May. Family members can check these sites once they are active for updates and information on various aspects of LDAC. I did find a Reddit thread about LDAC 2014 too.
Each branch of the service has their own process. My son was Army so I do not have first hand experience with the other branches and their requirements.
For the Class of 2014 and your parents, Congratulations!!
My son was a senior your knob year. I was on campus for your Matriculation Day in 2010. The time has just flown by. Parents be sure to take lots of photos and video of the weekend.
The cycle for next year has already started. The Facebook group for the Parents of the Class of 2018 has over 70 members already. If you are the parent of a soon to be knob be sure to send me an email to request to join the group. My email address is located in the “About Dorie” section of this blog.
Each year at about this time the search terms on my blog feature words all related to knob year and preparations for knob year. I’ve written welcome entries to new families for four years now. The tips and advice in each entry still stand. The links are posted below. I highly recommend you read each one. In this entry I will spend some time on recommendations for the various required items knobs MUST bring each year.
For the third year in a row I’ve posted a Facebook group for new parents. This year’s group. The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2018 has over 20 members so far. In addition to new parents, the group includes a few parents of graduates who volunteer their time to answer questions about this first year at The Citadel. If you have a student who will be in the Class of 2018 at The Citadel, please send me an email to request to join the group, [email protected].
Each year the new parents seem to focus on a different aspect of required or Nice to Have Item on the official Success packet list or the Citadel Family Association “Nice to Have List.” The parents of the class of 2016 asked a lot of questions about fine grade sand paper. The 2017 parents focused on the types of men’s underwear to purchase. It may sound silly even to those same parents now, but at the time these parents just wanted to make sure they sent their cadet off with everything they needed to succeed.
The most important items on the “Nice to have list” are the iron and travel size ironing board. Your cadet will iron, a lot. Spray starch is nice to have. Ask your cadet what they will want from the list. Shoe polish, rags, fine grade sand paper, a small plastic box with general medications, like ibuprofen and cough/cold medicine, band aids, Neosporin, and mole skin for their feet, are all good ideas to bring.
The list of required items changes very little from year to year. You MUST check the official list when it is posted for the Class of 2018. It will be linked on a Matriculation Day Headquarters link as well as to the Commandant’s Matriculation Day page on the school website. For this entry I will post what was on the list for the Class of 2017 with notes about the various items.
NOTE: The information below has been updated since the first publication for the Class of 2018. 7/20/15
All cadets are required to furnish their own bed linen except for the bedspread and one blanket , which will be issued. Beds and mattresses are provided, but pillows are not. One plastic mattress cover will be issued at cost to each cadet. All cadets (male and female) must bring the following: One pair [1] of conservative style pajamas (optional)
Many cadets wear their PT (physical training) clothes not pajamas. a bathrobe is issued to them. Twelve [12] white, cotton, crew-neck tee shirts
Double the amount of tee shirts (24) they should fit snuggly so as not to wrinkle under their uniform shirts. Twelve pairs [12] of white cotton underwear – at least 6 pair jockey shorts (male)
6 pairs of the “Tighty whitey” type men’s briefs are required. The 6 pair will be folded and kept in a drawer for inspections. Other type of underwear can be worn under uniforms. Many prefer the boxer briefs for under their uniform pants. The brands linked here are for example only. You can purchase whatever brand you prefer. DOUBLE the amount (24) Twelve pairs [12] of white cotton panties (female) – NO thongs
This is pretty straight forward for the female cadets. One pair [1] of “long johns”
Long underwear top and bottom in a thin material and solid color are used for under their heavy wool uniforms in the late fall early winter. You can send these at the Thanksgiving break. Twelve pairs [12] of black crew length socks – cotton socks are recommended. Thick cotton socks are best. the Gold toe brand is good, but other makes are fine too. Some prefer the more expensive military socks to keep from developing blisters. Double the number of pairs of socks (24) [Experience has proven that socks made of synthetic material contribute to blistering and in some cases secondary infections.] Twelve pairs [12] of white, cotton athletic socks
Thick white CREW LENGTH socks are needed for knobs. The Gold Toe brand is good but others are as well. Look for high cotton content and no logos. Watch for sales at your favorite stores. One [1] bathing suit, solid black or navy blue (female: conservative one piece)
Mostly black or blue. Minimal piping/stitching is OK. Lands End usually carries them, but you can find them at other stores or on Amazon. Sample of the men’s suit. Women’s suits at Lands End or Speedo or Tyr brands are pretty easy to find in a range of sizes.
One pair [1] of shower shoes [black]
Six [6] white, cotton towels
Double the amount of towels. Purchase in expensive towels form a store like Walmart or Target. They end up using their towels to clean. Do not spend a lot of money on good towels.
One [1] standard sized pillow Four [4] white pillow cases
Buy inexpensive pillow cases.
Four [4] white, non-fitted sheets for a single bed
Be sure to buy very inexpensive FLAT, not fitted sheets. They also use these to make banners. Most cadets make their bed then sleep on top of the made bed. DO NOT buy expensive sheets.
Twelve [12] white handkerchiefs
You can find these in Walmart or Target stores.
Toilet articles
What ever shaving and person care items your cadet uses. Include bar soap or liquid body wash. they do not need a a carrying bag.
One pair [1] of good cross training shoes (non-marking soles) in a subdued color such as white, navy, or black (may have contrasting trim.)
Buy the brand that fits your cadet best. Be sure they are broken in prior to Matriculation Day.
One pair [1] of good running shoes (non-marking soles) in a subdued color such as white, navy, or black (may have contrasting trim.)
Many cadets have the same she for cross training and running. Buy what fits best.
Three pairs [3] of black bike shorts (cotton spandex) for optional wear with physical training uniform
Compression type shorts that are optional under PT clothes
One pair [1] of military style boots, sand colored with deep lug soles – boots must be and colored with a plain or capped toe Boots made of patent leather or poromeric material are not authorized [The Cadet Store at The Citadel sells Bates brand boots, but large sizes may not be readily available. Be sure boots are “broken in” prior to arrival to prevent foot problems.] Bates Brand, M-8 Desert Assault boots, 8″Height Other brands are available. You can order them online. Some sporting goods sell them at a good price. I use Google to find good prices.
One [1] clear plastic storage container for under the bed. It must be sized no larger than 32″L x 11″H x 18″W. Note: Do not search for a container meeting these precise specifications. Instead, look for something smaller than 32″ x 11″ x 18″.
One [1] overnight bag (or another clear plastic storage container) for additional items that will be kept on top of the full press is authorized. This bag or container may not exceed 24″L x 12″H x 18″W.
Containers: Target, Wal-Mart, Home Depot and the Container Store carry containers that will meet the specifications.
Two pairs [2] of military style, plain toe, smooth leather, black oxford shoes with rubber heels. Shoes made of patent leather or poromeric material are not authorized. You will not be permitted to wear shoes that do not meet this criteria. Be sure all shoes are “broken in” prior to arrival to prevent foot problems.
Boots and shoes are available at The Citadel Cadet Store. Summer store hours are Monday-Wednesday 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m and Thursday 7:00 a.m. to 4:30. Call (843) 953-5166 to check on item availability. Boots and shoes must meet specifications. See the Cadet Store letter for details.
Additional items for female cadets:
Five [5] white, beige, or skin-colored regular bras Five [5] white or beige sports bras Five pairs [5] of neutral, black, or skin colored pantyhose
One pair of black, military style, leather or corfam, pumps with closed toe and closed heel with a ½ to 1.5 inch heel. Shoes are not to have straps or any kind of buckle or decorative styling.
I am told the female knobs to not really need the stockings and pumps the first year.
One black, leather or flat black vinyl military style handbag, no larger than 8 ½ by 11 inches, with or without shoulder strap. Suede handbags are not authorized. Handbag may have a handle or shoulder strap with a buckle. Handbag may not have any decorative styling.
The Citadel does not furnish bedding, cadets shipping their belongings to the college must bring with them two sheets, one pillowcase, and their pillow for use until they can access their belongings.
The following items may be brought with the new cadet or obtained later:
One desk reading lamp One picture with frame – no larger than 8”x10”
Most knobs do not keep a photo on their desk
One radio/stereo/CD player/tape recorder/player – speakers must be no larger than 12”x 24”
It is best to wait to have a device like this until after Parents Weekend.
Computer and printer
For the school computer recommendations see this link. If your cadet uses a MAC there is an Apple store in Charleston.
Alarm clock Oscillating fan ONLY – box or floor fans on a stand are not authorized
Not needed in all barracks.
LUGGAGE
If you pack in card board boxes and trash bags there is no need to use the storage facility.
Trunks and suitcases can not be stored in cadet rooms. Only one overnight bag for overnight travel may be kept in the room. All other luggage is stored at the central warehouse at the risk of the cadet.
Luggage may be shipped to The Citadel in advance of your reporting date. It should be clearly marked with the cadet’s name and addressed to Central Supply, The Citadel, 171 Moultrie Street, Charleston, SC, 29409.
The picnic tables by the boat house. My favorite place on campus.
When my oldest son went off to college I never expected to end up with life long friends as a result, but that is what happened at The Citadel.
By the end of my son’s knob year I volunteered to help lead the Georgia Citadel Parents Group. That position meant I was part of the Citadel Family Association. many of the parents I met through this organization back in 2008 are some of my close friends now. We called ourselves the YaYa’s then and now.
The Citadel Alumni network are known for supporting fellow members of the Long Gray line of graduates. The parents of cadets at The Citadel are proving to be a very close group too.
As an official volunteer while my son was a cadet, I had the privilege of being a caring presence for a few families who experienced some of life’s most challenging situations, including serious illness and death of a close family members.
I’ve seen the alumni network jump to the aid of a cadet with sudden financial needs. Parents of cadets have too over the years. The alumni have a very organized structure, but for the parents there really isn’t a structure in a formal sense. They are members of various Facebook groups. As a need arises someone will post a note, then the offers of help and prayers begin to pour in. This grass-roots support happened after hurricane Sandy when a Long Island mom, who is also a teacher posted a need. Each year leading up to ring weekend calls for support for cadets who cannot afford their ring are posted and the challenge is met.
Volunteer support is also given in family emergencies. Offers of prayers, visits to hospitals and campus are all carried out quietly by individuals and groups who hear of a need a step up to meet the need. I don’t know of another college or university that has this type of camaraderie among the parents of their students.
Parents do need to be careful though. The cadets are students at a military college. The 4th Class System is designed to train the students to become leaders, which means learning to solve problems on their own.
A recent article in Forbes addresses the problems that can arise when parents get too involved and don’t allow their children to learn through their mistakes, the title is 7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders. It is harder for parents of cadets to get involved with their day to day life, but quite a few parents do stay a bit too connected to the day to day decisions than is healthy for their cadet’s leadership development.
The Citadel website lists several options for families that find them self in an emergency situation. All parents should have the HELP web page bookmarked just in case it is ever needed. Only you know your student. If at any time you are concerned about your cadet or what has been reported to happen on campus always call the appropriate department. If you are not sure what the right department would be contact the Ombudsperson’s office they can help you and keep our conversation confidential if you would like.
We call ourselves The Citadel Ya Ya’s. We had a little reunion at Vendue Rooftop in 2010.
Carolina Cadet Nutcracker and an Army Nutcracker purchased at Target. carolinacadet.com
Winter Furlough for first year Citadel cadets can bring with it a mixed bag of emotions. While they are very happy to be home and away from the 4th Class system, they also miss their fellow knobs. The friends from high school who went on to non-military colleges can’t relate to the regimented life of a cadet. The process of moving into adulthood and the life of a Citadel cadet is in place by December of knob year.
The downside of Winter Furlough is the news that comes from friends who have decided they want a different college experience and will not return to The Citadel for second semester. While I am sure it is a tough decision not to return, in some ways hearing a good buddy won’t be there second semester can really upset the most devoted knob. I bring this up in case anyone reading this thinks they are alone so they will know they are not.
Some cadets don’t return because of grades. For others, they do not return because of financial reasons. Others decide that they want to attend a non-military college. Whatever the reason, it is hard to leave good friends.
For the knobs who face second semester without a friend, returning in January can be even more difficult. The beginning of second semester is tough for many cadets of all classes. They have spent a month with friends and family, enjoying good food lots of sleep and long hot showers. They return to the cold dark barracks, early morning PT in the damp cold temperatures of the winter. Many first year cadets who haven’t questioned their sanity of choosing this type of college experience, will have their doubts in January and February.
I mention this now as a heads up to parents of first year cadets so you’ll know that if you get a call in January complaining about the school, you’ll be aware that this is normal. As I’ve written in several posts, you know your child the best. If at anytime you have concerns about them and their experience at The Citadel, call the ombudspersons office. They will keep the call confidential and hear your concerns.
How a cadet did academically first semester can be a cause for celebration or concern. Congratulations if your cadet made the Dean’s List (3.2) or Gold Stars (3.7 or higher). The school will publish a list of the cadets on each list. There will also be the announcement of the Commandant’s List and President’s List cadets sometime in January. The President’s List cadets and Gold Star recipients are recognized during the awards parade in January and are invited to a reception at the President’s home after the parade.
If your cadet did not do well first semester it can be a wake up call to reorder priorities. I’ve heard plenty of stories of cadets who didn’t do well their first semester and went on to earn Gold Stars. The academic support office and the individual academic departments can be a great help to cadets, but they must seek the assistance. The sooner they ask for help in a semester the better.
No matter how they did academically, they have made it through the toughest challenge a college freshman can go through and that is cause for celebration!
The Class of 2014 reports in on Matriculation Day.
The year is flying by, at least for me. It’s hard to believe the cadets who were knobs my son’s senior year will receive their rings October 4. I envy the senior families. Ring Weekend was a highlight of our four years of visits to The Citadel.
Of course it is also a big weekend for knobs and their families. The promotion ceremony Saturday morning is a huge step in the life of a knob. They will move from being cadet recruits to full members of the Corps of Cadets, but still lowly knobs. I’ve written several entries about the weekend and will include links below.
Caitlyn Lees, 2012 grad, sits at he sign in table with a cadet on Matriculation Day.
Congratulations! The journey has started.
The Citadel is definitely different from other non-military colleges. There are a few tips for new parents to help your cadet recruit, or knob, and you this next year.
Two Citadel Family Association volunteers at 1st Battalion.
The Citadel is a Leadership school. That means now that your knob has reported it is up to them to navigate the system. parents should not call the school and make requests like special leave, talk to their professors like you did with high school teachers. Being a “Helicopter Parent” will not help your knob.
Knobs line up in 3rd battalion to get their pT clothes.
The school does a great job of posting updates to various social media sites, like Facebook and Twitter, and YouTube. They will also post photos you can browse through and purchase. The goal of every knob is to be invisible, or a “Ghost knob.” If you see your knob in a photo of the site, share it on your own Facebook page but Do Not post any comments to the page. Set all your privacy settings to Friends only. That includes your photos too.
If you have friends who are the parents of upperclass cadets don’t post questions specific to their walls. Send a private message instead.
Email the Citadel Family Association Company and/or the Battalion rep for you knobs company or battalion. They can be a great resource for traditions specific to your knobs company.
Do Not have your knob as your profile pic or cover photo.
You will not hear from your knob until next week. When you talk to them do remind them this is a military COLLEGE. If they don’t pass their classes they won’t stay in school, no matter how shiny their shoes and brass looks. Knobs tend to try to do everything and skip sleep. That is not a sustainable plan. School work must be a priority. Sleep is necessary. Fit the polishing in where they can. Budget 20 – 30 minutes a night. Your role as parents should be to encourage them to get these priorities straight right away. The knob has to be the one to implement the plan.
The sooner a knob learns to pull together with their classmates the better.
Charlie Company knobs report.
Do not listen to rumors. Go to a primary source for clarification. If it didn’t happen to your cadet or to you don’t repeat a story you’ve heard. I covered some of this advice in a previous post about the Rumor Mill after rumors began to fly last fall.
Learn the school website. I’ve added the most frequently accessed pages to an entry called Helpful Web Links. Bookmark the entry for future use.
Do send encouraging letters and small boxes of goodies.
The Cadet Activities website is a great resource and they will post photos too.
Join the Facebook groups for parents, but do not post to the ones with cadets in them. The group for 2017 parents only has new parents and a few parents of graduates who volunteer their time to answer questions. To join the group email me and let me know your knobs name and company. My email address is in the About section of the group page. See the entry on Facebook groups or direct links to other groups.
The Commandant of Cadets, Col. Mercado oversees the morning activities.
To tide you over as you wait to see more photos from the school See these albums of photos I took this weekend.
We are approaching the annual rite of passage at The Citadel known as Matriculation Day, the day the first year cadets, or knobs as they are called, report for their Challenge Week, formerly called Hell Week.
To help families prepare for this day the alumni groups in several area host send off events. In Georgia there is a parent orientation meeting. I started a group for new parents only on Facebook called The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2017 to help parents prepare their knob to report while also helping them learn to let go of the day-to-day aspects of their child’s experiences.
The hardest part of the experience for parents is letting go. The knobs have a tough time, but they are busy learning the system and going to classes. It is tough and they manage it well. The parents, on the other hand, tend to have a very tough time the first few months. They worry about their child, mainly because the system is so foreign to them and therefore, it is scary.
The Facebook group for new parents is there to assure parents that they, and their child, will get through this. Each year over 700 knobs report to the school. 2,000+ members of the Corps of Cadets are on campus each year. The parents of graduates in the Facebook group act as coaches for the new parents. We try to give them the tools they will need to support their cadet’s process instead of intervening.
The cadre march the Class of 2016 to their first lunch in the mess hall.
Parents, you are sending your child to a military COLLEGE, not to war. I know the difference now since my son just returned from Afghanistan. My early worries seem silly now. Allowing your knob to take control of their experience and work out their problems is the best gift you can give them.
I do understand the anxiety though. I was in your shoes in 2007. At that time there were no Facebook groups. The Atlanta Citadel Club does have a send off event and the parent orientation was very helpful. I resourced with a local mom of a cadet and also the Citadel Family Association chair couple at the time. In 2007 knobs were not allowed to have cell phones first semester, so we didn’t get a call at the end of the first week. If we were lucky we received a quick email.
In 2011 I was asked to contribute to a blog called Off the Base , my son’s senior year. The blog is the project of Bobbie O’Brien of WUSF in Tampa, Florida. She thought my voice as the mom of an Army ROTC cadet soon to be officer would be helpful to her readers. I hesitated to write about The Citadel because I really couldn’t speak to the cadet experience. My son was the one who attended, not me. In the end I agreed. The entries trace my experience from a mom who couldn’t understand why in the world my son would want this type of experience, to a mom who knows it is not the experience I could have gone through, but The Citadel was exactly where my son needed to be.
The Cadre lead the Class of 2016 from the mess hall to their first meeting. The first week this process is repeated over and again.
The best gift a parent can give their knob is helping them prepare for Matriculation Day, then let go. Let your knob be the one to reach out to you. They have no control over their time so if you call and they don’t answer the phone, know that is completely normal. Send them encouraging cards and messages. When they do call, be supportive. Remind them of the strength they have within them to tackle their challenges. If they have a problem with a classmate don’t try to fix it for them, but remind them there is a chain of command and a protocol to go through to address concerns.
You can use the time to learn more about the school and the 4th Class system when your knob cannot call or email you. The Citadel external affairs office does a great job of posting photos and updates to the web site and also to their Facebook page for new parents to try to get a glimpse of their knob. Read through the Office of the Commandant page and all the links to learn about the school and the process your cadet is going through. This knowledge is not to intervene, but to see how they are trained.
As a parent it is tough to resist the urge to fix things for our children. Come April and Recognition Day, the knobs, and their parents, will see they have made it through to be full members of the Corps of Cadets and you will each feel a sense of accomplishment and pride of what you have come through.
The Class of 2016 lines up to enter the chapel the Sunday morning of Matriculation Day weekend, 2012.
Padgett-Thomas Barracks at The Citadel photo by Stanley Leary
Recently on one of the Citadel parent Facebook groups I was referred to as Dorie-pedia because I help Citadel parents find information. I have never really had a nickname. (at least none that people called me to my face!) My given name is usually a nickname.
It really is a compliment that parents think I can help provide answers, but the truth is, I just know my way around search windows. Some of the parent questions I can answer from first hand experience, but a lot of my answers come directly from The Citadel website.
I learned early on that at this military school most policies are documented and easily found on the web site. All the training modules are posted on the Office of the Commandants page if you really want to get an understanding of what is taught at this Leadership school.
Now that I have my own blog I can see the various search terms used to find the blog. I know the future cadets and their parents are using Google quite a bit and ending up on this site.
A few tips for learning information about the school:
Use the search window on the main site. Enter basic terms. For instance, if you wonder what a cadet corporal does, enter “duties of a corporal”, or “roles and responsibilities of a corporal.”
Use a few different terms until you find the answer to your question.
Call the appropriate office on campus and ask the staff there if you have a question about a term you’ve heard or if it is a general policy question. They will point you to the right place to get the answers. It is always best to get information directly from a primary source. An assistant commandant told me they prefer to answer the scheduling and policy type questions directly to avoid rumors.
Become familiar with the information on the Office of the Commandant page. Most of your questions will be answered on a link here.
Bookmark the link to the Guidon online. It is a great resource.
Use the volunteers of the Citadel Family Association. Their contact information for the company and battalion reps as well as various area reps can be found on the CFA web site. Parents who volunteer have already been through a year or two and volunteer to help the new parents.
Many alumni cannot understand why parents know so much about the 4th Class system now. Parents and students today have far more information available to them today thanks to the internet. Alumni will tell you when they attended their parents would drop them off on Matriculation Day and maybe get one five-minute phone call from their cadet once a week or so. That call was made from a pay phone.
Times have changed. To stay relevant and competitive in the higher education marketplace some policies at The Citadel had to change. Allowing cell phones for knobs is a change that, in part, came about for campus safety after the shootings at Virginia Tech. The use of computers is a necessity for anyone in the job marketplace. With the increased use of computers comes the increase n communication capabilities such as email and Skype. Future employers will expect graduates to know how to use computers and other technology. Parents need to know how to use technology for their own work and duties as a parent.
The Citadel has held the #1 ranking for public colleges in the South. A testament to how well the school has managed to maintain the rigors of the 4th Class System while staying relevant in the current higher education marketplace.
When I was 13 years old my brother gave me The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Years later my oldest son became interested in the tales of J.R.R. Tolkien. The books involve a tale of the One Ring that controls the others.
Years later I was struck at the similarities and differences between the One Ring and The Ring the senior cadets at The Citadel receive their senior year. The One Ring is one of power over people. The Citadel ring that a graduate wears is also one of power. The Citadel ring’s strength is in the power of friendship forged through the tough training the cadets endure over their four years. The power of The Citadel ring goes beyond the graduates and in many cases influences the families of the one who wears the ring.
One of the most moving accounts of the bond forged by the graduates who wear the ring is told by Pat Conroy. He told this story in his book, My Losing Season, and he also told the story in his commencement address in 2001. I can’t read the story without tears welling up in my eyes. Talk to many graduates and their families and they can tell you their own story of the Ring. In her book In the Company of Men, Nancy Mace details her father’s story of recovering his lost ring in the swampy fields of Vietnam.
Two weeks from now the Class of 2013 will receive their rings. It is a huge weekend for seniors and their families. My son used to say that the ring, and what it symbolizes, is more important to him than his diploma. Everyone who graduates from a college or university gets a diploma. Not everyone can earn the right to wear The Citadel Ring.
Over the past five years I have had the privilege to see what the power of this ring can do. As the chair of the Georgia Citadel Parents Group for a few years I had the honor of witnessing the kindness of the members of the Atlanta Citadel Club when they heard a cadet was in need. One had trouble meeting the out-of-state tuition and was helped by a graduate. Another family had a crisis and weren’t sure they could get their cadet home, the alumni offered to pay for a flight. If a knob needed a ride back to campus from Georgia I just posted the need and within minutes offers to help would pour in.
This giving nature also applies to the families of the cadets. A family suffered the death of a grandparent. Their cadet couldn’t afford to travel to the funeral. A ticket arrived in the mail paid for by another family who heard of their need. When a cadet or graduate is deployed the moral support for the family of the soldier pours in.
Each year cadets and graduates are sent overseas to war. When one Citadel Mom learned that current cadets were going to war she founded The Citadel Heroes Project. Volunteers donate items and cards that are sent to the deployed cadets and graduates a few times a year. It is a huge effort that means so much to the recipients.
A young graduate died just months after graduation and before he reported to his first duty station. The roommate of the deceased was left behind to tie up the loose ends. A few of us attended the memorial service in Summerall Chapel. I was asked to read a poem during the service on behalf of the Citadel Family Association. A few of us moms learned it was difficult for the surviving roommate to go to the mail box each day and see mail to his deceased classmate/roommate/good friend. The Citadel Moms each took a week and sent baked goods gift cards for coffee shops and food. For eight weeks the surviving roommate went to his mailbox to find these gifts of love and support from his Citadel Moms.
Recently it was brought to the attention of a group of alumni that a few seniors, due to a number of circumstances, couldn’t afford to pay off the balance on their rings. Within a matter of hours alumni of all types, young and old, male and female, came together to donate the money needed to pay off the rings for these deserving seniors. When parents of current cadets and graduates heard of this effort, they too wanted to help. It was an amazing show of support by the members of The Citadel family. On October 12 the qualified cadets will receive their rings with the rest of their class.
Wearing the ring is something I will never experience. It was my son and his classmates that proved they were worthy of the honor of joining the Long Gray Line of graduates. They are family, not just classmates. I can tell you being a family member of the person who wears the ring makes you part of their extended Citadel family.
Pat Conroy used the sentence “I wear the ring.” in The Lords of Discipline to summarize the importance of his time at The Citadel and the bond he shares with others who wear the ring. The cadets who went through the rigors of the 4th Class System understand that sentence differently than any one else who reads it.
The parents and family members of the cadets and graduates can only get glimpses of what it means.
Bravo ’11 wear the ring. Photo by Stanley LearyA group of friends who met through their cadets time at The Citadel. photo by Stanley Leary
