Category: Parents

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Learning about the Army, Deployment, and Green Dots

Chelle and Dorie visit with their soldier during Family Day at Fort Stewart.photo by Stanley Leary
Chelle and Dorie visit with their soldier during Family Day at Fort Stewart.
photo by Stanley Leary

My son serves in the U.S. Army. I have no background in the military. That means for the last several years I’ve been on a steep learning curve. I guess I really didn’t HAVE to learn the terms and different stages a Army ROTC cadet goes through in their training, but if I didn’t I’m not sure how well I’d be able to communicate with my son.

Learning about his process also has helped me reach a level of understand about this very demanding job. To help in this learning curve I have read a lot, but I have also resourced with people who are far more knowledgable than I am when it comes to the military  and the Army specifically. One of my best resources is a mom I met during Matriculation Day. The day her son reported to The Citadel. That year my son was a sophomore. This new friend of mine always made a point to tell me that my son was a good officer, tough but fair. I appreciated the kind words about my son from another mom. It wasn’t until later that I learned this mom was a graduate of West Point. She really knew what this process was about. She has become one of my teachers on this journey. Quite a few Citadel alums have been and are my mentors on this journey as well. I have learned quite a bit the past 5+ years and continue to learn something new everyday.

Leading up to our son’s deployment I created and joined a couple of Facebook groups for military parents. I joined the Army Officers Friends and Family Support page. It was started the summer of 2010 when a group  of mostly moms met via the LDAC Facebook page. The group now includes others who find us. We all share what we are learning. Each year the Public Affairs Office at Joint Base Lewis-McCord post a new Facebook group for that year’s class of cadets and their families. They also have a blog called Warrior Forge and photo sites. Right now the LDAC 2012 group is still active

The summer of 2010, thanks to a Citadel mom I learned about goarmyparents.com website. It is a terrific spot to visit when you start hearing a bunch of abbreviations that appear to be an alphabet soup. Right after graduation I started the Military Parents of The Citadel group with the hope parents with knowledge and experience about the military would help those of us who know nothing about the process.

The Army Moms Facebook group is a good one to join to ask questions and gain support from other moms. The majority of moms on this site appear to join when their child enlists and heads to boot camp, but many have deployed soldiers as well. The Files section of the site has very helpful information. The Army Moms page is where I learned that the term Green Dot will bring joy to a family member. It refers to the green dot that appears when a loved one is on Facebook. Just seeing the Green Dot is a sign that they are alright.

Once my son deployed I was invited to join the Parents of Deployed Soldiers Facebook group. The group is several years old. They have  a group of volunteers to monitor the site 24/7. Before posting to the group you are asked to read and agree with the OPSEC policy.

Today we have far more ways to learn and gain support than in previous conflicts. many soldiers have ready access to computers and can Skype, email and Facebook with family and friends. That isn’t the case for everyone though. The battalion commander of my son’s battalion has encouraged family members to write letters and send boxes. Not everyone has ready access to electricity much less computers.

Our guy has been deployed for a few months now. The months leading up to his departure we experienced a real roller coaster of emotions. We have found a new normal in our daily routines now, but it isn’t always easy. I guess we have learned to live with a level of stress any family who has gone through deployment will understand it. Others try to understand but really can’t.

In the last month I have heard from our son more than I have in the last year combined. It isn’t much, one time I received a short one word reply. That one word was enough to know he was OK.

The most comforting experience is when I send off a note just because I am thinking of him, and he replied right back. At first I thought, “What a coincidence.” It has happened so many times now I have to believe the mother/son connection is alive and well even though we are a half a world away.

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Remembering our Fallen Heroes

A Vietnam Veteran replaces worn flags beneath the trees along Warrior's Walk at Fort Stewart.
A Vietnam Veteran replaces worn flags beneath the trees along Warrior’s Walk at Fort Stewart.

After visiting with the rear detachment office at the 3-69 AR BN I stopped at the memorial site called Warrior’s Walk at Fort Stewart. Spending the afternoon on the base and seeing scores of Army soldiers where ever I went kept my mind on the young sergeant in the 3-69 who lost his life January 10 in a small arms fight. I never met SGT. Wittman, but he is a graduate of The Citadel and a member of the same battalion my son is in so I do share some connections with him. My heart aches for his family. Taking a few moments and walking along the Warrior’s Walk I found myself praying for the scores of families who are now one member short.

Shortly after arriving I met an older gentleman along the walk. His arms were full of small American flags on sticks. He wore a Vietnam Veteran ball cap. He was replacing worn flags with new ones all along the walk. We chatted for a bit, I thanked him for his service and continued my quiet walk.

Spurs, a boot and several statues are placed in memory of a fallen soldier.
Spurs, a boot and several statues are placed in memory of a fallen soldier.

Each tree has a small circle around it. Family and friends can leave items beneath the tree. I found myself stopping and pondering the items left. Some had a token from a favorite sports team. Some were covered in small angel statues. One had spurs, various statues, and a single boot at the foot of the tree.

The tree that hit me the most was one toward the front. A small photo of a young boy hung from a branch. Was this the soldier as a young boy? I try not to think about what I would do if it was my son that this tree stood for, but with this tree I immediately thought of the photo I have of my 4-year-old with his old Army helmet on one Christmas morning.

One memorial tree had a photo of a young boy on one of the limbs.
One memorial tree had a photo of a young boy on one of the limbs.

Warrior’s Walk is a beautiful tribute to the soldiers who lost their lives in Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom. There are just too many trees there.

As I left the walk my new Vietnam Veteran friend showed me the small opening in the pillar that holds the directory of the trees. One day soon SGT. Wittman will be in that booklet. I hope to attend the dedication service.

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An Army Mom's Field Trip to Fort Stewart

I visited another culture yesterday, Fort Stewart. Since I did not grow up around the military that is how I felt when I entered the base. It wasn’t that the language or  people were different, but how to navigate the different rules and culture came crashing together for me while shopping in the Exchange.

The Exchange

I met the Family Readiness Group leader at the Exchange. The first sign that I was out of my element happened pretty quickly. I was sitting outside the Exchange in what I thought was the front entrance. A few minutes later my contact walked up and said, “I thought I should check over here. I was waiting on the other side, the front of the building.” Oops.

This was my first visit to an Exchange on a military base. It was like a mini mall. My shopping companion knew exactly where to go once we were inside. We passed kiosk shops with framed sports photos, ladies wigs and other items. We arrived at our destination, a store filled with uniforms and supplies for soldiers.

Before my trip to Fort Stewart scores of friends and people I have never met sent me checks to go toward supplies for the soldiers of the 3-69 AR. Many of the soldiers are in remote areas without access to the internet or a PX. Getting needed supplies is difficult, so are showers. We were told before they left that our soldiers will need us to send items like soap, deodorant, etc. more than snacks and goodies. When I heard there were some soldiers who needed socks and underwear, etc. I put the word out and people responded. To date I have received $1,310 for this project.

Once inside the Exchange I handed over the cash, holding some back to go toward shipping. Since I do not have a military ID all the goods needed to be purchased by my contact. We decided shopping at the Exchange was better than ordering online with free shipping. The prices are so much better on base we could send more to the soldiers this way. We are buying for two platoons, about thirty men.

socks in the cart

We started in the underwear and sock section. Standing in front of a wall of socks we began to read labels. We settled on one style labeled “Military Fatigue Fighter” and features “Graduated Compression” and is made with “Wick  Dry & Scentry Technologies.” While neither of us really knew what “Scentry Technologies” actually means after reading the description of the sock we decided on this style. We opted for a mix of large and extra-large socks. It was on to t-shirts and underwear.

Standing in front of the t-shirts we had fewer decisions to make. There was only one choice in the type of shirt to make, cotton or polyester. Then it was a decision about the size mix. After getting enough for two per men, it was on to the underwear.

The standard issue briefs were only $2.05 a piece. While most of the guys we knew prefer boxer briefs we opted to go with the standard issue because the boxer briefs were over four times the price.

By this time our two shopping carts were pretty full. My shopping partner was keeping a running total on her smart phone.

We turned to the cold weather gear. Because the soldiers are in an area that is very cold now we opted for the “ThermaForm Neck Gator.” The label touts, ” A unique construction of layered fibers that create a body-conforming climate capsule to keep your neck and face warm and protected from winter weather,” Plus it had moisture control. I am learning that wicking and moisture control are important features for soldiers.

After a quick check of our running total we had enough money to buy something in the three dollar range. We opted for foot powder and were on our way to check out.

I made a slight detour to look at the Teddy Bears dressed in uniform. Our 14-year-old daughter came to mind. She misses her oldest brother and would love one of these bears. I settled on one with its cover pulled down to cover its eyes, the same way our soldier wore his cover at The Citadel, plus it had a distinctive nose like our guy.

On to the register. The ladies were very nice. One rang us up while the other bagged the items. To our surprise we came in at $995, not the $1,100 we thought we had. It was on to the PX to buy breakfast bars and oatmeal. The MRE’s provided the needed calories, but we thought the soldiers would appreciate something that doesn’t come from a standard issue box.

loaded carts

The PX was a big grocery store with great prices. We made quick work of the breakfast aisle loading up our large cart with boxes of nutritious bars and oatmeal. A little girl about 4 years old just stared at our cart as we walked down the aisle.

The check out line was like any other store. The lady working check out reminded me I was not at home in an off base grocery store. As she was ringing us up she asked if we needed custom forms for the USPS. We didn’t tell her why we were buying such a huge amount of bars and oatmeal, she just knew. It turns put she receive the stop mail notice for her son and had a stack of forms in her car. She gave the young guy bagging our groceries her car keys to retrieve the forms she no longer needed. One Army mom helping another.

With my little Toyota Corolla now filled up with items to ship to Afghanistan, we drove to the battalion headquarters office to see the Family Readiness Group Support office. I wanted to stop in to say hello and to express my condolences to the rear detachment staff after the death of Sgt. Wittman of the 3-69 just a week before.

After a quick visit and a few photos, I was on my way off base. I took a little time before I pulled out to reflect on the day. I only spent a few hours on base, but I had learned so much. I had to let it sink in a bit.

As I approached the Main Gate, I saw the “Warriors Walk” a tribute to Fort Stewart soldiers who lost their life in during Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom. I had to pull over to pay my respects. I’ll write about that experience in my next entry.

Dorie visits with the Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader and the FRSA.
Dorie visits with the Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader and the FRSA.

 

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An Army Mom Reflects and Gives Thanks

We made it through our first Christmas with our soldier deployed. While we missed him, we did manage to have a very nice holiday with friends and family. Like many people I tend to become reflective this time of year. I thought I’d share some rambling thoughts and reflection about this past Christmas.

Two years ago Christmas day the first blog post I wrote for the military blog site Off the Base was published. The Making of a Military Mom started me on a journey I could never have imagined. When Bobbie O’Brien first asked me to contribute to the blog as the mom of an Army ROTC cadet soon to be officer my first response was, “Thank you, but I am not a writer.” Little did I know when I finally agreed to give it a try that my entries about our experience at The Citadel would be so well received. Eventually I posted my own blog. I’ve met so many wonderful people through this blog either in person, on Facebook, or through email. We have a very supportive community.

This Christmas a group of friends joined me and donated items to be sent to my son’s platoon for Christmas. We heard via Facebook the gift bags arrived right before Christmas. I was thrilled to hear all the boxes we had sent finally arrived. When I asked for photos he told me they would be coming. I checked email and Facebook several times a day hoping to see photos of our guy. A few days before Christmas our daughter asked me what I wanted most for Christmas. I told her, “I’d like a picture of soldiers in Afghanistan.” What a wonderful gift to receive Christmas morning in my stocking. While it wasn’t the picture I expected, it was one of the most thoughtful presents I have ever received.

This picture was in my stocking Christmas morning. A gift from my daughter.
This picture was in my stocking Christmas morning. A gift from my daughter.

She also gave me a t-shirt with the little blue fish, Dory, from Finding Nemo. (In case I forget my name I can look at the shirt.)

In case I ever forget my name, I can look at my shirt. A gift from our daughter.
In case I ever forget my name, I can look at my shirt. A gift from our daughter.

A few days after Christmas an email arrived with three photos. Two of the platoon with the gift bags we sent and one of our guy in a hat we sent to him as a present. It made for a great start to the New Year. The guys look good and we could make out a few of the children’s Christmas pictures in the bags we sent.

Delta Company Christmas photo.
Delta Company Christmas photo.
Delta Company Christmas photo #2
Delta Company Christmas photo #2

New Year’s Eve 2012 marked the 19th year of working in the press box as a volunteer for what is now called the Chick-fil-A Bowl. No matter what changes I am going through in a given year the one constant for 19 years has been this activity. It is like a family reunion each year. My favorite person to catch up with is a gentleman our daughter calls Mr. Walter. He works for the Georgia Dome security during the bowl and his station is right next to the information table in the press box where I work. He is a wonderful, caring, man who is a wiz with statistics of all kinds. He was profiled in the Atlanta Journal Constitution in the past few years. He is an Atlanta celebrity among event goers since he works at multiple venues. I always enjoy our time catching up together at the Bowl. It is also fun to see the various reporters and others who attend the game.

Dorie and Walter catching up during their annual reunion.
Dorie and Walter catching up during their annual reunion.
Members of the press getting ready for the start of the Chick-fil-A Bowl.
Members of the press getting ready for the start of the Chick-fil-A Bowl.

Before Christmas I put word out that the soldiers in our son’s battalion needed some basic supplies. While they had the basic necessities some are stationed in remote areas and could use a few more basics. The response has been amazing! Checks began to arrive right away. I am told more are in the mail now. To date I have received $1,200 to go toward supplies. Several other people said checks are on the way. I am working with the family readiness group to determine what is needed and the items should be on their way next week. An initial shipment of military cold weather socks are on their way to our son’s platoon along with another shipment of the coveted soft toilet paper.

I am overwhelmed with these gifts in addition to the many people who have sent boxes to our son and his platoon. Many of these people I have only met a few times, or only know through online networks like Citadel parent Facebook groups. Some are teachers and have sent boxes of goodies and needed items along with letters from children. My son tells me the guys really like the boxes I send the best. I really think he means the boxes of items I and our friends send. In a very real way I feel we are a small part of a huge family that includes: Citadel families, Army families, childhood friends, college friends, church friends, and a few caring people who read the blog and I have never met.

This past week a package arrived from a Citadel mom. It included a card and check and a very special gift for my daughter and me. A picture frame with two patriotic angel pins. Tears came to my eyes when I read the card. The sender is a military spouse. She has a first year knob at The Citadel and has given me some very helpful tips the past few months. She told me that while the Citadel parents are like family that the military family is even larger.

A beautiful gift from a Citadel mom who is also a military spouse. She is also our angel.
A beautiful gift from a Citadel mom who is also a military spouse. She is also our angel.

I am so blessed to have so many wonderful and supportive friends. I am beginning 2013 with the firm knowledge that our family is blessed to have such a wonderful group of people surrounding us with their care and their prayers.

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Christmas without our Soldier.

Christmas cards for the VA

It’s Christmas Eve and all is quiet around our house. We don’t normally do a lot this day, but this year it seems extra quiet.

My morning started with a message from our son in Afghanistan. I told him about the fund I started to supply needed items to the soldiers in his battalion. I have just about $1,000 in donations wither in hand or on their way here this week. He was thrilled to hear it. And when I say thrilled his comment was, “wow that is amazing.” High praise from a guy who hardly ever writes.

At noon I drove to the Veterans Administration hospital to drop off some Christmas cards to the  chaplains office. I left the cards a the office door after talking to another VA employee who was also hoping to find the chaplain in.

On my way to the elevator I saw a man with a cane at the information desk. He was asking if anyone was there. I walked over to let him know no one was at the desk and I told him I was a visitor but would try to help him if I could. He wanted to find a restroom. Fortunately a gentlemen approached who looked like he might work there and told us the direction to go in. After brief introductions we walked together down a long hallway with photos of members of the military who were killed in action lining the walls. Before too long we found the restrooms. He assured me he could find his way back down the hall.

My next stop was right before I left the building. Two employees of the VA were standing by a Christmas tree. I could tell they had a lively discussion going. The gentleman asked me to come over and join them. Apparently they were debated the cost of the tree and the ornaments. They wanted a neutral third-party to help settle their discussion. It was a fun little conversation about ornaments, the tree decorations and shopping for them.

I am home now. The afternoon mail brought with it a few more checks for the soldiers fund. I am floored by the generosity of people. Some of the money donated comes from long time friends. Much of it is coming from people I have never met. It looks like the donations may exceed $1,000 when all the checks come in. Just amazing.

This past week while I waited to get my hair cut I struck up a conversation with an older gentleman there waiting for his wife. We talked about family and Christmas. When I told him one of my children is in the Army and is deployed he told me he served in Korea. He then pulled out a $20 dollar bill and gave it to me. He asked me to send something to my son with the money. A lady who over heard the conversation came into the room and she gave me a $20 as well. After my hair cut the receptionist said she would like to help too and gave me a $10! With the cash they gave me I ordered 96 more rolls of Ultra Plush Quilted Northern for my sons platoon.

This Christmas is a bit different from all the others. It is hard to have a loved one away, but really tough when they are in a war zone. Knowing we are surrounded by caring people, even people we don’t really know, helps.

Merry Christmas!

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Finding Joy in Toilet Paper

Never again will I look at toilet paper the same way.

My son sent me a private message on Saturday morning. I had missed his Skype call the day before. He doesn’t contact me often so I wasn’t sure what was up. It turns out the toilet paper I ordered through Amazon.com arrived. I sent 96 rolls, enough for each member of his platoon to have a package. He told me the guys were treating it like gold. They received a number of boxes this past week, but the toilet paper was, “the hit of everything.”

I told my son to let his guys know I’ve got their a$$es covered. I am pretty sure he rolled his eyes when read my comment.

This past Sunday was Gaudete Sunday, the time in Advent when Christians reflect on joy. How interesting that something we take for granted, like toilet paper, would bring such joy to a bunch of deployed soldiers. When I go to the grocery store this week and come home with toilet paper I guarantee you my family will not be overwhelmed with joy. It is something they just expect to have. The only time it would become a topic of conversation is if I had forgotten to pick some up and we ran out.

Right after I corresponded with my son I heard from the Family Readiness Group leader for the battalion. I had offered to help gather needed items for not only my son, but anyone in the battalion. It turns out quite a few of the soldiers are in need of socks, t-shirts, underwear, baby wipes, and hand warmers. They are in remote areas without access to laundry facilities. It is getting quite cold and they need these basics. Many of the guys have not had the opportunity to shower. With no laundry facilities our soldiers end up having to burn their dirty socks and underwear with the other trash.

Who among us rejoices over waking up getting dressed and going to work in clean clothes? I know I will look at my everyday routine a bit differently now. I vow to appreciate what I used to take for granted. I have a nice home, with heat, running water, and indoor plumbing. I sleep in a comfortable bed, and have clean clothes to wear each day. I even have a variety of clothes. We have food in the pantry and the refrigerator. If we run out of anything we can find the needed items at a variety of stores near by.

I will never look at a roll of toilet paper or a trip to the bathroom the same way again.

If you would like to help provide basics to some of our deployed soldiers from Fort Stewart, please email me: [email protected]
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Emotions of a Mom of a 1% Soldier

Chelle and Dorie visit with their soldier during Family Day at Fort Stewart.photo by Stanley Leary
Chelle and Dorie visit with their soldier during Family Day at Fort Stewart.
photo by Stanley Leary

We are about a month into my sons deployment. For the most part it isn’t too different from him being away at his stateside base or away at college. At least we pretend it isn’t most of the time. You see, you try not to dwell on the fact that he is in a war zone. He isn’t just away at work or college. He is in a dangerous place.

We are family members of a 1 percenter, a member of the U.S. Military. One percent or less of our population serves in a branch of the U.S. military. That means in our town, that is far from a military base, very few of our friends and acquaintances know what it is like to have a close family member in a war zone. For the most part people are supportive when they learn he is in a war zone. But at least once a week I have a less than supportive conversation, usually with an acquaintance, but sometimes with someone who should know better.

At a veterans day luncheon at our church a few weeks ago a veteran and JROTC teacher asked me what my son is doing in Afghanistan. When I told him the general description he said, “Wow you must be worried. My son was over there, but he didn’t have THAT kind of assignment. I’d be worried all the time if I were you.” Definitely not a helpful or supportive comment.

In the grocery store a neighbor asked how we are doing. I told him I was there buying things to send to my son. His response? “I thought we weren’t sending anyone over there any more.”  Really? I couldn’t believe he didn’t know we are still sending troops.

These interactions reminded me of the many blog entries I have read written by spouses or family members with deployed soldiers. I can now relate to their posts in a whole new way.

Most of the time I don’t allow my mind to go to the scarier scenarios. But when I do I know I am not alone. Many military moms before me and now have the same fears. I’ll list a few to give you an insight into what a military family carries with them under the surface.

My son, and many, many others, have to wear armor and carry a weapon just about every where they go. It isn’t for show. They never know when they will need to protect themselves, and the people they are with, from an attack.

I used to like surprise visits. Now I dread the thought of an unexpected knock on the door. If there is a death in a war zone an uniformed team from the Army will visit the next of kin to let them know the horrible news. If you are going to visit a friend with a loved one in a war zone, call them first to let them know you are coming.

Related to the unexpected knock is the late night phone call. Don’t call late at night unless it is an emergency. We hope when the phone rings late at night it will be our soldier calling to say hello. We dread that it will be bad news.

Another upsetting scenario is the unexpected dark car in the driveway or in front of our house. Again, if you are going to visit, call first let me know what kind of car you drive.

Spouses or parents of deployed service members should have an up to date passport. If there is a severe injury it will help to get out of the country quickly. In some cases they will expedite a passport. I don’t want to think about that need, but I do want to be prepared.

Just FYI. . .as part of his job my 20 something son had to detail what his wishes are if he should die in the war zone. We had to discuss his wishes. While it wasn’t an easy conversation to have, I am glad to know what my son would want. Most non-military parents will never have this kind of conversation with their children when they start their first job out of college.

I know people who have no experience with a military member try to relate our experience to what they have experienced. You really can’t. Maybe certain aspects are similar, but unless you have a family member who has to carry a weapon to protect themselves while away on a trip, it isn’t the same.

I have a young teen at home who misses and worries about her brother. Please be sensitive to her feelings, and mine, and don’t express your worries or feelings about the war. It doesn’t help.

We appreciate offers to pray for us and our son. Sending us patriotic emails with photos of flag draped coffins and a note about their sacrifice is not helpful.

Patriotic music and other songs that remind me of my son will make me tear up. Allow me those moments.

I will keep my cell phone with me at all times, on vibrate when appropriate. I never know when my son may call. I will answer the phone no matter what is going on if I see it is him.

Please understand that at different times I can talk about the situation and other times I may cry. Crying is a normal reaction to what we are going through. Don’t stop reaching out and being supportive because you are uncomfortable when I get teary. Stay and listen. Hugs are good too, at least for me. Some people need a few minutes to stay in their fear and grief and don’t want a hug. If in doubt what to do to support someone, ask them what they need to feel supported.

For the most part my friends and extended family are supportive. This past week I found out the number of men in my son’s platoon. I had a week to collect and send items for everyone so they would get there for Christmas. The out pouring of donations and financial support was amazing. Within a week we had enough snacks and gifts to fill a gallon size zip lock bag for each person in the platoon, plus four other large flat rate boxes of items.

Friends from several different aspects of my life donated items and money. A few I have never met. One person, a friend of my son, came to help sort and pack everything. It was wonderful for my daughter and I to spend time with one of his contemporaries.

One local Citadel mom is a school teacher. She had her 3rd grade students write notes and draw pictures. We included one in each bag for the platoon members. She also provided hot chocolate, instant coffee and baby wipes for the care packages.

Other Citadel families are sending their gifts directly. I smile when I think of their caring and support.

If you’d like to be helpful to a family whose loved one is deployed ask them how they would like to be supported. It varies with each family. Our son is single. That adds a different dynamic than a married soldier. We have a good idea of what he is doing, but can’t tell others. Please don’t be offended if we can’t tell you everything. We can say enough that you should be able to know we need a friend.

The holidays will be over soon. The talk of giving slows down and people move on to their exercise routines and weight loss discussions in the new year. Our soldiers will still need gifts of essential items and home-made goodies as reminders that we appreciate their willingness to serve in the all volunteer armed forces. Mark your calendars for early January and send a card letter or package to someone who is deployed.

If you would like to learn more about military families and how to support them during deployment, I am including some links:

Insights In Caring

Emotional Cycles of Deployment: An Army Mom’s Overview

Things You Should Say to a Military Spouse During Deployment

11 Things Not To Say To A Military Spouse

Military Families Ministry How to Get Involved

Laura and Chelle sort the donated goodies for the platoon.
Laura and Chelle sort the donated goodies for the platoon.
The goodies were sorted and put into gift bags. Each soldier will get three bags of goodies.
The goodies were sorted and put into gift bags. Each soldier will get three bags of goodies.
The three goody bags went into a zip lock bag with a note from the children and a card from us.
The three goody bags went into a zip lock bag with a note from the children and a card from us.
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Reaching Out to Military Families Helps

Family Day at Fort Stewart, Oct. 2012
photo by Stanley Leary

It’s been a busy month for me. Most of it related to things other than The Citadel or Army mom involvement.We are very close to the deployment date of my oldest son so staying busy is a good thing. I find I am choking up or tearing up at odd times throughout the week.

We did attend his going away party in early October and then visited Fort Stewart for the Casing of the Colors ceremony and family day. I wrote about that experience for the military blog site Off the Base.

Some fun with family at the pre-deployment party. Quite a contrast to the photo at the top of the entry.

There are so many thoughts going through my mind it is hard to decide what to write about now. So much of it is extremely personal. I am an extrovert so many times what is in my head pops out of my mouth with very little screening. In this situation, however, I am more guarded about what I share with a nameless faceless readership.

Fortunately I can channel my anxiety into projects that help not only my son and his battalion but other military families and military families in training at The Citadel.

For the senior Army ROTC cadets at The Citadel it is a time of anticipation. They received their branch notices at a meeting recently. Their parents are now researching the next steps, including what BOLC means. The training for young officers is called Basic Officer Leadership Course or BOLC and is pronounced bullock. Our son attended Armor BOLC at Ft. Benning. The courses for the various branches of service are taught at bases throughout the country. If you have a cadet at The Citadel you can resource with other military parents through the Facebook group, Military parents of The Citadel. Most likely someone there will know something about the BOLC your cadet will go to after graduation.

If you or someone you know is a cadet or graduate of The Citadel and is currently deployed, make sure The Citadel Heroes Project has their APO/FPO address. You can contact Susie Maghakian with the name and address. Her contact information is below. This group of volunteers sends care packages to deployed cadets and grads a few times a year. They rely on the families to send the addresses. They have an immediate need for personal care items, including items for female soldiers, for the boxes that will be packed November 10 and financial support to cover postage. Items received after November 10 will still be sent out to the soldiers. Make checks payable to: The Citadel Heroes Project

Please send your donations to:

Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 171 Moultrie Street, The Citadel Station, Charleston, SC  29409

or if you are sending items via UPS or other carrier use the physical address on campus:

Susie Maghakian, Krause Center for Leadership and Ethics, 201 Richardson Ave, 171 Moultrie Street, Charleston, SC 29409

[email protected]

Phone: 843-953-5815

Care packages ready to be shipped to deployed cadets and graduates of The Citadel.
There are many nonprofit organizations that support the troops throughout the year. One organization I volunteer with is the Military Families Ministry. Co-founder, Tracie Ciambotti, is also a contributor to the blog Off the Base. She wrote a book called Battles of The Heart for new Army families.
This past August I enrolled in the Level II Comedy Writing Class taught by Jeff Justice. It was just one more way for me to stay busy and positive as we face the first deployment of our oldest son. In the routine I joked about Army Moms and their cell phones. During a deployment they keep them on their person at all times. Just today I was reflecting on how our life will be the next nine months. I imagine there will be times when I tick someone off on line at the grocery store or at an event when I answer my phone at an inappropriate time. I will not apologize if this happens.
The Family Readiness Group leadership at Ft. Stewart will send the contact information soon for anyone who would like to support our battalion while they are deployed. We already know they will need hand warmers, packets of hot chocolate and instant coffee, protein foods, and baby wipes. I’ll post the address to send donations when they send it to us.
Remember, if you are the parents of a deployed soldier it is completely normal and expected to be more emotional while they are deployed. If you do not have a family member in the military, but know someone who does, remember to check in with them and ask how they would like to be supported during this time.

 

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In Appreciation of a Good Friend

This past week was a mixed bag of activity and emotions. Each fall I work on a project for a nonprofit education organization, the Georgia Partnership for Excellence in Education. Last week I had to travel to Athens, GA to go over hotel and conference center arrangements for the trip. It was special meeting though.

I wasn’t meeting with just any conference center sales person. My contact there is a friend I have known for most of my life. We grew up in the same small northern New Jersey town, went to school and church together and participated in many of the same activities over the years.

March 1989. Elizabeth and Dorie with baby Nelson.

Years later Elizabeth moved to Atlanta after I had been here  a few years. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, then later died, Elizabeth was there to support and comfort me. I was pregnant with my first baby during this time. Elizabeth and her husband, Ron, were the first visitors to the hospital when my oldest son was born. Later when my husband’s position in a hotel in Texas didn’t work out, Elizabeth flew out and drove my car back to Georgia for me. I was pregnant with our second son at the time.

So last week as I drove to Athens I began to remember all the times this life long friend was there to help me during some of the worst, and some of the happiest, times of my life. As I drove along I found myself choking up. It won’t be long until my first-born son will be deployed to Afghanistan. There I was about to see the one friend who, by the grace of God, has been near by at my most difficult life moments.

You see, Elizabeth is one of the most loyal of friends and compassionate people I know. She is the type of friend you can go months or years not seeing, but pick up right where you left off when you do talk. She is very bright, witty, extremely smart, and creative. And she is a Navy spouse. Her husband, Ron, is a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy. When I am around Elizabeth I feel more energized, I also feel at home.

Our meeting and property tour went as most do, but with a special time to visit over lunch. When I arrived at the conference center the emotions around the pending deployment of my son that had choked me up during the trip just disappeared. The joy of being in the company of a good friend totally overwhelmed the anxiety of sending a child to war.

This next year I think I’ll make more trips to Athens.

June 2011. Dorie and Elizabeth visit in Oconee County, GA.