Cadet Parent Advice – Page 2 – Dorie L. Griggs, M.Div.

February 3, 2017January 16, 2020

Looking Forward for Citadel Parents of the Class of 2018

bravowearsthering — Bravo Company 2011 wear the Ring photo by Stanley Leary

Parents of the Class of 2018: Your cadets have ordered their rings and gotten their blazers. It won’t be long until the BVA’s find out if they are Summerall Guards. In less than ten months from now you’ll be attending Parents/Ring Weekend!

A few notes:

If your cadet is a Summerall Guard, do attend Corps Day Weekend. That is when they will transition from Bond Volunteers to Summerall Guards.
Find out where your cadet will be as they march onto the field Saturday morning and find your place along the roped off area early to get good photos. My son was on the side closest to the stands (versus on the chapel side of the field) we stood along the rope in front of the stands closest to the walkway from 2nd battalion.
Looking ahead to ring weekend, make your hotel or house reservation early. Get cancellation insurance if you rent a house as we learned this past fall with hurricane season anything can happen.
I’ve written quite a lot about Ring Weekend and posted plenty of photos to show moms in particular what to wear Friday evening. In short, the ring presentation in the afternoon business dress is appropriate (you’ll see more casual attire too) the evening ring ceremony traditionally moms wear a formal gown since the cadets are in their most formal uniform. Moms, wear comfortable shoes since you’ll be standing in a line for your turn through the ring.
You do not need tickets for the afternoon ring presentation or the evening ring ceremony.
The field house fills up quickly for the presentation so get to your seats early. As your friends with sophomore or junior cadets to take photos/video of the march into the field house and have them stationed at the chapel where the cadets knock on the chapel door with their rings.
After they receive their rings families should go to the barracks. The seniors run into the battalion have a sparking cider toast and throw the glasses at the company letter. If you are stationed at a sallyport with a view of the letter and a zoom lens you can get some photos. In 2010 my husband got permission ahead of time from the TAC officer to be in the battalion to take photos which we shared with everyone in the company afterward.
After the toast the seniors will come out of the barracks for congratulations and photos. The Summerall Guards have to practice. Most others have the afternoon off.
The school will post the schedule of when each company goes through the ring Friday night. If your cadet’s company has a time from 6 – 8 you can have dinner after you go through the ring. Bravo went through at 8:30 so our group of 30+ had dinner at 5:30.
Family and friends who are with you Friday night will go sit in the stands and wait for the cadet and mom/date/other guest to go through the ring. Once you walk through the ring your party will leave the field house.
Saturday of Ring Weekend is a regular football day, but with open barracks Saturday morning. Most cadets appreciate families bringing breakfast to them in the barracks that morning.
Keep a camera handy. Senior cadets smile more on Ring Weekend than any other time. It all goes by so quickly. If you have family or friends with you consider asking them to be the designated photographer for the family.

See the links at the end of this post for more photos:

The Citadel: Parent’s Weekend and Ring Weekend 2013

The Class of 2011 runs to the chapel after receiving their rings.

Bravo ’11 members run through the sword arch.

The Class of 2011 wait to receive their rings. photo by Stanley Leary

Dorie, Nelson and Leslie. Ring Ceremony 2010

Bulletin board recognizing the one 2011 Summerall Guard member in Bravo Company. photo by Stanley Leary

Our family outside 1st Battalion after the ring presentation.

February 3, 2017January 16, 2020

Looking forward to Graduation at The Citadel, 2017

Each year in February the questions from a variety of parents pick up. The senior parents are looking toward graduation and commissioning. I’ve added a few notes about the end of the year below.

Keep an eye out for the updated graduation schedule. I checked this morning and the 2016 schedule of events is still posted. You can use that schedule as a guideline for this year but watch for updates. A few general notes:

Tickets are limited. For the past several years each cadet gets 8 tickets. They can put their name in a lottery for extras but that is not guaranteed. Sometimes they can get a few from classmates who won’t use their allotment.
Since tickets are limited to graduation some families rent a house and have the graduation live stream connected to a large screen TV for the guests who can’t be at the event.
It is traditional to send out announcements for college graduation. Again traditionally announcements are sent to anyone who would want to know about this big life event. They are sent out the week of or after graduation. The recipient is not obligated to send a gift when they receive an announcement. It is a good time to announce the commissioning of a graduate who is entering the armed forces. You can also put a card with the new contact information for the graduate since they will no longer use the school’s address to receive mail. These small cards are referred to as “at home” cards to indicate the graduate will be at their new home after a certain date. The tradition of an at home card is an old one and has changed over time as to the meaning. You can read the history here.
Many families use the online announcement company Signature. They are nice quality, but a better price than what Balfour offers.
Commissioning services happen the Friday before graduation. Be in touch with your senior for the updated details on the ceremony. It is traditional for the newly commissioned second lieutenant to give the person who renders their first salute a silver dollar. You can usually find them online.
For those commissioning they will have to order and pay for their dress uniform. That process is usually started by now. The expense surprises many parents.
The seniors have to be out of the barracks by Thursday night of graduation week, unless they’ve requested and received an exception. Be sure you plan for this when making your accommodation reservations.
Many families give their graduate a Lifetime Membership to the Citadel Alumni Association as a graduation gift. There is a special luncheon for the new Lifetime members during graduation week.
Like most big weekends, graduation weekend is a time of great activity. Dress for the weather and for comfort in walking. If the weather is warm many ladies wear light dresses for the commissioning service and long gray line parade. The gentleman wear jacket and tie for the commissioning and more casual attire for the afternoon parade. For graduation, business attire is appropriate, a dress or nice slacks for the ladies and jacket and tie for the gentleman.
Saturday morning arrive at the field house for graduation early to find a seat. In 2011 we were given assigned seats. The past several years it is open seating. Saving seats is discouraged. If you have young children attending, bring quiet distractions for them like coloring books and light snacks. The ceremony lasts about 3 – 3 1/2 hours. I played The Citadel version of “Where’s Waldo” with my daughter who was in 6th grade at the time her brother graduated. We had a list of my son’s friends and she tried to find them as they sat waiting for their name to be called.
Have a plan of where you are to meet after the ceremony. Some families meet on the floor of the field house some meet outside the building. It is helpful to have a plan ahead of time.

Previous posts about graduation:

Graduation 2015 Notes for Citadel Parents

The Citadel: Tips from One Parent for Graduation

Senior Parent Notes

2012 Bpnd Volunteer Aspirants march onto the parade field. photo by Stanley Leary.

Cadet Nelson Lalli receives his lieutenant bars from his father, Blake Lalli and his uncle, LTC (Ret.) John Lalli photo by Stanley Leary

The Class of 2015 form the Long Gray Line

Members of the Class of 2015 turn to face the Corps of Cadets.

LT Lalli receives his first salute from SFC Polidoro photo by Stanley Leary

December 22, 2016January 16, 2020

A 1972 grad remembers his Summerall Guard and inauguration experiences

2011 Summerall Guard photo by Stanley Leary — The 2011 Summerall Guards photo by Stanley Leary

When my oldest son deployed in 2012 I began to see the larger network of The Citadel in action. A friend at church, Col. William Buckley, USMC (ret) introduced me via email to a friend of his from his days as a cadet at The Citadel, LTC Walter “Wally” McTernan, USMC (ret), Citadel class of 1972. Wally, as I’ve come to call him, was, and still is, in Afghanistan as a contractor.

While my son was deployed Wally looped me into correspondence with a wide array of Citadel graduates. I sent care packages to some with the help of friends from church Citadel parents, military reporters, and others.

Thanks to Wally I learned helpful advice of what to send deployed service members. Things like Saran wrap that could be used to stop bleeding in the field. I learned how broad reaching The Citadel network really is, even including the clueless mom of a graduate.

I also learned that Wally is a great story-teller and organizer. He coordinates the alumni in country for an annual Muster to honor the fallen graduates. He was recognized by the Citadel Alumni Association for his volunteer work in 2014 being named the 2014 Distinguished Alumnus of the Year. I also learned of his love of Crystal Light Peach tea.

My son is out of the Army now and working in his new career based in Houston. Wally and I continue to correspond. With the news of the Summerall Guards and the Regimental Band and Pipes marching in the inauguration parade in January Wally’s latest email tells the story of his experience in participating in the Cherry Blossom Festival parade in 1972 and another story of the inauguration of President George Bush in 1989. I am sharing his story it here with his permission.

A story by LTC Walter F. McTernan, USMC (retired), The Citadel class of 1972:

“The 1972 Summerall Guards marched in the Cherry Blossom Festival parade in WDC in early April 1971. Luckily for me I was in position 1A1 (first squad leader, front rank) – because we were marching behind a mounted unit, and there were a lot of “horse apple IED’s” on the road. So I was luckily able to adroitly avoid stepping on/in them. Of course, keeping established discipline, I did not say anything. I chuckled inside every time I heard a softly muttered “shxt” by someone in a follow-on rank who haplessly “stepped in it” (literally). After the parade, I noticed the stark visual contrast in color between horse shxt brown and starched cadet FD trou white.

During the Jan. 1989 Inaugural of President Bush-I, I was assigned on a TAD/TDY basis to be a temporary military aide to the first Drug Czar, Dr. John Bennett. (I was assigned to this post by the legendary Captain (later Colonel) Mike Riley, USMCR (Ret.) ’79, who was a big player in the military committee supporting the Inaugural. (I served with Mike three times – Okinawa with the 3d Mar Div, HQMC and Baghdad at HQ, USF-I), and that alone ought to have earned me a high level medal.)

Mrs. Bennett was expecting and was not feeling well, so we departed the Inauguration Ceremony early; got in the VIP sedan awaiting us behind the Capitol, and began to depart the area. We drove past a contingent of Cid cadets forming up to march down Pennsylvania Avenue in the parade. Dr. Bennett recognized them as Citadel cadets and commented that the phrase “zero tolerance” (of illegal drug abuse) that he used was a phrase he had borrowed from the late and great MG James Grimsley, USA (Ret.) ’42. Dr. B. said that he had given a greater issues speech at The Citadel, and he had asked the General what was his policy on drug abuse. MG Grimsley replied, “zero tolerance.” Dr. Bennett said that phrase really resonated within him and he used it ever since. Mrs. Bennett commented that a close family friend of hers while growing up was Dr. Ira Rapp (Regimental CO ’70). Mrs. B. and Ira’s sister were best friends growing up.

That night I escorted the Bennet’s to dinner at a fancy WDC restaurant before taking them to an Inaugural Ball. I waited for them in the lobby. I was approached by the late political humor columnist, Art Buchwald, who had given Greater Issue speeches twice at The Citadel, one of which I saw when I was a cadet. Mr. Buchwald was a Marine in WW-II, so when he saw a Marine officer, he came up to chat amiably. He was very funny and unpretentious. While we were chatting, a gentleman came up to speak to Mr. Buchwald. Art was clearly continuing to chat with me just to keep this guy waiting. While impatiently waiting, the poor (figuratively, NOT literally) guy was accosted by a couple of society matrons who hit him up for a donation to their favorite charity. This fellow was one Mr. Donald Trump, whose own Inauguration we will soon celebrate. Thus bringing the 2017 SG’s and our world-class Band Company to WDC.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2017 to you all. God bless.”

December 21, 2016January 16, 2020

Gifts for Your Cadet

***2/10/2019 Please note: I am no longer updating the blog posts for Citadel parents. See the official school website for the most up to date information***

Each year at Christmas time and the end of the school year parents of cadets at The Citadel begin to think of gift items either for their cadet or one that has been particularly helpful to their cadet. It’s a bit late for this advice to be helpful for this year’s Christmas but the ideas below will stand for any occasion, including graduation.

Gift Cards for restaurants and movie theaters in the area are always welcomed. Knobs won’t be able to have food delivered to the barracks until after Recognition Day, but they do get into town on the weekends. Popular restaurants include Moe’s Southwest Grill, Mama Kim’s, Jim’n Nick’s BBQ, and Sticky Fingers. There are many more restaurants in Charleston, just call them to see if they offer gift cards. Restaurant gift cards make a nice gift for host families too.

Netflix, Amazon Prime and other online entertainment options are popular with cadets. This gift may be a better option after knob year.

Other gift ideas for cadets include: A watch, coffee maker or hot-pot, good sunglasses, small 6 pack cooler, a good pillow, noise canceling headphones.

If they are a hunter items like a good hunting knife or other equipment.

Some cadets enjoy gift cards for an experience like skydiving, a boat/fishing trip or other activity.

Ideas for the graduating senior include:

Lifetime Membership in the CAA

Citadel Blazer buttons or other jewelry

A nice picture frame with a photo from Ring weekend or other occasion

A Big Red Flag or Company Guidon.

Any number of items from the Bookstore on Campus

Of course for the young grad who will set up their first apartment or home, cash is always welcomed!

Links to previous posts about gifts can be found on this link.

December 21, 2016January 16, 2020

A Message to Parents from the Provost office at The Citadel

I’ve been asked by the provost office to share the following message with parents of cadets:

From: Parents Program

Sent: Wednesday, December 21, 2016 12:20 PM

Subject: CONVERSATIONS OVER THE HOLIDAYS

Dear Parents and Families of our Cadets,

We have had a remarkable semester. The largest freshman class on record, weathering Hurricane Matthew, earning the Southern Conference football championship, and being once again named the South’s #1 Public College in our category — I don’t think there is much more we could have fit in over the past few months! Your cadet has truly earned some time off to relax, recharge, and prepare for the Spring semester.

Conversations with your cadet about his or her future over the next few weeks are an important way to support their success. To facilitate these discussions, we have provided valuable information on The Adjutant page of the Parents’ Website. Please use these as conversation-starters with your cadet.

Success at The Citadel revolves around the four pillars of our leadership development program: Academics, Military, Physical Fitness and Moral/Ethical. Although these pillars serve as the basis for our learning environment, the concepts we teach are further reinforced in discussions at home with people they respect.

We hope you will visit our Adjutant page on the Parents’ Website and review the information provided for your cadet’s class. You’ll also want to note key dates for the Spring semester (provided below), which is shaping up to be as busy as the Fall! If we can assist you with any additional information or answer any questions you may have, please give us a call at 843-953-6088 or send us an email at [email protected].

Finally, please be aware that The Citadel will be closed from 22 December through

2 January.

Have a wonderful Holiday Season!

Key events Spring 2017:

· 8 January – The Corps returns

· 11 January – Classes resume

· 21 January – First Saturday Morning Inspection (SMI). (This is the first in a series that will culminate with the President’s Inspection on 18 February.)

· 28 February – Midterm Grading Period through 7 March

· 16-18 March – The Annual Leadership Symposium

· 17-19 March – Corps Day Weekend/Recognition Day

· 20-24 March – Physical Fitness and Height/Weight Assessments

· 24 March to 2 April – Spring Furlough

· 10-20 April – Advising and Registration for the Fall 2017 Term

· 14-16 April – Easter Weekend

· 26 April – Final Exams Begins

· 06 May – GRADUATION!

December 16, 2016January 16, 2020

Winter Furlough Notes for Citadel Parents

the-citadel-luminaries — Luminaries light a path toward 2nd Battalion December 2 after the Candlelight Service in Summerall Chapel

Winter furlough begins today for cadets at The Citadel. A time to celebrate to be sure.

Some will be thrilled with the grades their cadet achieved this semester. Others will not have fared that well and you’ll most likely have questions. The notes and links below should answer most of your questions. The links below will also bring you to the pages to find contact information for the appropriate person or department to address your questions. While this advice is manly for first year families, parents of cadets in all years may find the links helpful

If your cadet needs academic support they should see the Academic Support Center the beginning of second semester. If the grades were really not up to standard, your cadet will need to communicate with their academic adviser and possibly the Dean. This page for Academic Advising FAQs may help answer a few questions.
If you or your cadet will need to contact someone on campus, be aware the offices are closed from Dec. 22 – Jan. 2. See this press release for Winter Furlough Hours of Operation
Throughout the year if you have a question about something on campus and you aren’t sure who to talk to on campus, you can ask a few people.
- Contact the parent liaison in the Provost office. The email and phone number are listed at the bottom of this page for Parents.
- Contact an Ombudsperson
- Contact the Citadel Family Association volunteer for your cadet’s company and/or battalion
The cadets should already know where to check for their report times back to campus on the training schedule. They should also be aware of all the information, including emergency contact numbers, listed in the Winter Furlough memo from the Commandant and Regimental Memos page. A list for parents of furlough dates and procedures can be found in the memo from the Commandant’s office. The link is on the Matriculation Information page on the Office of the Commandant page.

If you’ve read this blog for a while you’ll already know this next bit of information. As I mentioned in this post from 2012, the beginning of second semester is tough for all cadets, knobs to seniors. They’ve just spent close to a month at home visiting with family and friends. Coming back to cadet life, getting up early, PT in the cold dark days of winter, is a tough reality.

For parents of knobs, if your son or daughter hasn’t questions their decision to attend The Citadel before, January and February are the months you may field that call. If you do get “the call” remind them that they are stronger than they think they are, encourage them to talk to their classmates. Once they talk to their classmates and other friends in the Corps they will realize they are not alone. It’s still tough but they will get through it. Remind them that Recognition Day is not too far off, March 17, this year.

This experience is so common the cadets have a name for it, the PG version is F’d up February. It is also tough when their friends decide for a variety of reasons not to return.

If you are a family with a student who has decided to leave The Citadel, I wish you and your student the best in their next endeavors.

My best wishes to all The Citadel cadets and families this holiday season.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah-Chanukah, Happy New Year!!

December 8, 2016January 16, 2020

Relieving stress: Push ups or coloring books

A recent article in the Free Beacon caused an uproar among cadets and graduates of senior military colleges. The author of the article wrote about the practice at VMI of offering exam time stress relief activities. One of the activities open to the students is the use of coloring books. The idea that future military officers would be encouraged to use a typical childhood activity was offensive to many who read the article. Social media lit up the day the article was published and days later it si still being discussed.

As a former chaplain resident at the Atlanta VA Medical Center I found the negative comments around this activity offensive. Art therapy is a recognized modality to help veterans who have a diagnosis of Post Traumatic stress disorder and related anxiety issues. Coloring sheets were readily available and used by the veterans on the psychiatric floor.

In July 2016 Jeremy Ramirez, BS, MPH-C wrote, A review of Art Therapy Among Military Service Members and Veterans with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder for the Journal of Military and Veterans’ Health Volume 24 No. 2 His conclusion after reviewing the various modalities to help veterans including Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is:

Challenges of military service should be met with a supportive culture that is open to implementing art therapy as a treatment modality in addition to current evidence-based practices. This review suggests that if current service members and veterans were placed into art therapy programs as early as possible after being diagnosed with PTSD, they would be at less risk for developing greater PTSD symptom severity. The preferred method of treatment for patients with PTSD receiving care in the VA healthcare system is CBT, however, since CBT is effective in treating only two of the three symptom clusters, it is an incomplete care package. Given the effectiveness art therapy has in treating the third symptom cluster, it is not meant to replace CBT, but rather it is meant to be offered in addition to CBT in order to produce a more comprehensive care package for past and present service members with PTSD.

I have to wonder why anyone would object to future military officers learning proven techniques to help deal with stress which could eventually help lower the astronomical suicide rate of our veterans. Physical activities like push ups (#22PushUpChallenge) are acceptable but other methods to raise the awareness and/or to teach stress relief are put down. To help prevent suicides early lessons in stress relief a destigmatizing getting help are key.

Putting down efforts to help with stress only adds to the negative stigma already prevalent for mental health issues.

I think I’ll go color now. . .