The Citadel: Welcome to the Class of 2017 and Your Parents

I can tell from the search terms used to find this blog that the members of The Citadel, Class of 2017 and their parents are doing their research before Matriculation Day. The high school seniors this year will graduate from The Citadel 10 years after my son graduated. He is now in the Army serving in Afghanistan. Time really does fly by.

Matriculation Day morning, 2007. Nelson and little sister, Chelle, before reporting to campus. Note the plain t-shirt, plain black shorts, white crew length socks.   photo by Stanley Leary.
Matriculation Day morning, 2007. Nelson and little sister, Chelle, before reporting to campus. Note the plain t-shirt, plain black shorts, white crew length socks. photo by Stanley Leary.

Our daughter was starting third grade in 2007. She will graduate from high school in 2017. Looking back on the photos I can see how much she has grown in this time. Funny how our children get older, but we do not age.

If you have found this entry after a search for Citadel related posts, Welcome! Please take time to review the information in the links on the left  hand side of the page. If you are a member of the Class of 2017 or a parent of an entering cadet, see the Knob Year Notes for Parents link. That entry has helpful tips and links to other blog posts. Spend time looking through the other entries on the left hand side of this page as well.

If you are starting your research early, NOW is the time to start your physical training. You will be required to pass a physical fitness test each semester. If you are a high school athlete that will help, but you do need to meet the requirements for sit ups, push ups and the 2 mile run. The other top thing to do to be ready to report is get your shoes and break them in prior to steeping foot on campus. Foot problems are the top reason for knobs to struggle the first few months.

Please take your time and review the information on this site. Parents, join the Facebook group, The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2017. This group is just for new parents. A few parents of graduates are in the group to help answer your questions. Once your cadet reports and finds out what company and battalion they are in you can join the respective Facebook group.

Please remember that Facebook is a very public space. If you have questions about your cadet, send a private message to one of the administrators or call the appropriate office on campus. Check your Facebook settings and be sure the privacy settings of an incoming knob are set very high. The cadre, the upperclass cadets responsible for training the knobs are known to search for photos and posts by their knobs. It is also a good idea to Goggle your name to see what come up. You can’t really do much about public posts like news articles, but at least you will know what information is readily available online about you.

Family Day at Fort Stewart, Oct. 2012, just before our son deployed.photo by Stanley Leary
Family Day at Fort Stewart, Oct. 2012, just before our son deployed.
photo by Stanley Leary

In Memory of Sgt. Aaron X. Wittman, an American Hero

Arlington National Cemetery

Friday, February 9, I arrived at Arlington National Cemetery for what I knew would be an emotional afternoon of paying tribute to a young sergeant and graduate of The Citadel, Sgt. Aaron X. Wittman. Sgt Wittman was killed in action in Afghanistan by small arms fire, January 10, while serving with the 3rd Battalion, 69th Armor Regiment, 3rd Infantry Division. My son is in the same battalion, but a different company. Both Sgt. Wittman and my son are graduates of The Citadel.

The night before my hosts for the evening told me what to expect when I arrived. There would be no way for them to prepare me for what I found on my arrival, three long rows of cars all waiting to pay tribute to Sgt. Wittman. I had a hand quilted Gold Star banner donated by Memories in Stitches to deliver to the wife of the battalion commander who in turn would present the banner to Mrs. Wittman. I knew the turn out would be significant, but I could not have imagined the sea of cars and people in front of me.

Mrs. Davenport holds the Gold Star banner made and donated by Memories in Stitches.
Mrs. Davenport holds the Gold Star banner made and donated by Memories in Stitches.

A quick call to Mrs. Davenport and the guards allowed me to move closer to the front of the line. I passed the banner to Mrs. Davenport and made sure to take a photo graph for the lady who made the banner. Shortly later we were in our cars and moving slowly through the cemetery for the beginning of the graveside ceremony.

I have been to the cemetery before but each visit I am moved by the experience. As we snaked through the various sections I took time to say prayers of thanks for the life and sacrifice of each person there represented by a white marble head stone.

The line of cars had to stretch about a mile long. A silent procession of cars wound their way into place. We parked on both sides of the street and walked up a small hill to where the horse and carriage, the honor guard, and the military band awaited the arrival of the casket. I was struck by the sheer numbers of cars and people and how quiet it was there. An occasion jet passed over head. You could see other smaller services about to start as we took our place at the top of the hill. I am told about 3 or 4 services are held each day there.

Cars lined the drive leading up to the place where the ceremony began. Mourners walked u the hill in silence.
Cars lined the drive leading up to the place where the ceremony began. Mourners walked u the hill in silence.

As I approached the crowd gathered at the top of the hill I quickly met two Citadel moms toward the back of the assembled crowd. One mom I have known for a few years.The other I had not met before but we are Facebook friends. We waited for the ceremony to start.

As a soldier killed in action Sgt. Wittman was given full military honors. As a member of the Patriot Guard Riders I have attended a few military funerals at the Georgia National Cemetery, but had to refer to the website for Arlington National Cemetery to learn what it means to have full military funeral honors. The web site for the cemetery says this about the service, “enlisted members who die as a result of wounds received in action and are being interred/inurned at Arlington National Cemetery are eligible to receive full military funeral honors, to include an escort platoon, a colors team, a band, and a caisson section.”

The ceremony began quietly. As we all looked on a team of pall bearers approached the hearse to remove the casket and proceeded to place it on the caisson (horse-drawn carriage). There was a caparisoned (riderless) horse there as well. The ceremony proceeded. The band played a very moving song. I don’t know the name of it, but it was beautiful. We were all touched by the honor and dignity to the entire ceremony. The ceremony begins

At the designated time the band proceeded to the front of the caisson and led the procession down the hill to the grave site. There must have been between 100-200 people in attendance. I saw representatives of the media take a respectful place at a distance from the proceedings. The Washington Post published a write-up and photos in the paper the next day. I knew a few friends who wanted to attend and I tried to take a couple of discrete photos to capture the dignity of the service.

The band and honor guard

We stood in silence as the ceremony began under a small open tent. While we couldn’t really hear what was being said we all knew when it was time to bow our heads in prayer. I don’t remember the order of the service, but when the 21 gun salute and bugler began to play Taps,we all felt the gravity of the loss of this fine young man. Standing ready

Since 2007 when my son began at The Citadel I have learned quite a bit about the fellowship between the cadets and graduates of the Military College of South Carolina. Some say the fellowship between the graduates who wear the ring is stronger than any bond out there. I have experienced this bond in a variety of settings.

February 9 at Arlington National Cemetery was the most moving display of honor and respect I have ever experienced. I did meet a few of Aaron’s classmates that day, but the majority of graduates assembled did not know him, or his family, but they ARE his Citadel family.

My prayers are with the Wittman family.

Rest In Peace Sgt. Aaron X. Wittman.

God our Father, 
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.

Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.

In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen.

NOTE: A tree will be planted in memory of Sgt. Wittman along the Warrior’s Walk at Fort Stewart, February 21. Time TBA.

Please support the SGT Aaron X. Wittman, USA ’07, Memorial Scholarship

On Facebook: Aaron Wittman Foundation

An Army Mom's Life: Expecting the Unexpected

“Life is something that happens to you while you are busy making other plans.” John Lennon

I first read that phrase on a card my good friend, Chelle Chaudoin, sent me once in college. I had just had a break up with a man I thought I was in love with and she wrote a note of encouragement on the card.

That phrase came to mind as I am sitting in the airport in Richmond, Virginia reflecting on my weekend.

Over a month ago I received an invitation to attend the, February 9, 100 Years of Spider Basketball celebration at my alma mater, the University of Richmond. From 1977 -1981 I was a manager for the men’s basketball team and also worked as an intern in various areas in the athletic department as a student. This was my first official invitation to an athletic department event in 30 years.

The plane reservations were made right away and arrangements were made to stay with a good friend, for what was to be a quick fun weekend reunion with long time friends. When I talked to my friend about the travel plans she told me the day game was also her father’s birthday. This would be the first birthday without him since he died in July of last year. Already the weekend was changing shape.

At some point in January another event happened that profoundly changed what was to be a fun-filled weekend, an email from the Family Readiness Group of the 3-69 AR at Fort Stewart informing family members that one of our soldiers, SGT. Aaron X. Wittman, was killed in action in Afghanistan. Shortly after this email The Citadel related Facebook groups lit up with the tragic news. Sgt. Wittman was graduate of The Citadel and the son of a graduate.

I was numb at the news. My son is in the same battalion, but not in the same company or area of the country. He is also a Citadel graduate. Sgt. Wittman was also from Chester, Virginia near Richmond. Perhaps I could pay my respects to the family during my visit.

Once the obituary was released I realized my plans for a fun weekend would include a very solemn occasion as well, the burial of Sgt. Wittman at Arlington National Cemetery. My Army mom’s heart breaks for the Wittman family. From all accounts Aaron was a wonderful young man. Tributes were posted to YouTube by family members and his unit in Afghanistan. There is also a video of his delegate from Virginia moving to adjourn in the memory of Sgt. Wittman. Citadel grads and parents began to post their condolences to various Facebook groups. I felt I needed to do what I could to attend the burial at Arlington.

The Family Readiness Group (FRG) Leader for the 3-69 is also the wife of the battalion commander. She is the one I met in January to go with me to the Exchange to purchase needed items for the 3-69. I contacted her to let her know I would be at the burial service. She told me she would be there with a rear detachment officer. We made plans to meet at Arlington. A few Citadel moms wrote to let me know they too would be attending the ceremony.

A couple of weeks before the trip I saw a photo of a beautiful Gold Star quilt made by  Memories in Stitches. Her website said she makes banners for Gold Star families. After a few emails she said she would send a banner for the FRG leader to present to Mrs. Wittman.

Through a network of Citadel grads a graduate and father of graduates learned I would be in DC and offered to host me the evening before the burial. An amazing offer since we had never met. It was set, I was flying into Richmond renting a car driving to DC and attending the burial.

A few more surprises slipped in.

My long time friend and fellow Richmond grad, Joe Williams, lives in the DC area. We’ve talked for a while about collaborating on a project. He was free the night I arrived so we had an extended visit/meeting over dinner.

My host family for the night were extremely hospitable. After a great nights sleep I was on to DC to spend a few hours admiring the sights, that is until another synchronistic meeting came together. I called a couple who have a first year cadet, called a knob, at The Citadel. They were both home and invited me to join them at their home for visit and brunch. I met this family Matriculation Weekend at The Citadel and thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them. I was about to go through a very difficult ceremony. Spending sometime with a delightful couple made a terrific buffer for the more emotionally difficult experience that was coming next.

To be continued. . .

2013 Summerall Guards at Mardi Gras

I have noticed a few search terms this week are related to the Summerall Guards and Mardi Gras. I wrote to one of the 2013 Summerall Guards and he sent me their performance schedule:

8 February (Le Krewe d’Etat (1830)
9 February (Krewe of Endymion 1500-1800)
10 February (King Thoth 1200-1500)
11 February (Proteus 1700-2000)
12 February (REX 1000-1300)

You can find information on routes, schedules, changes, photo and videos on The Times-Picayune online news site, nola.com

The 2013 Summerall Guards begin their first performance

Learning about the Army, Deployment, and Green Dots

Chelle and Dorie visit with their soldier during Family Day at Fort Stewart.photo by Stanley Leary
Chelle and Dorie visit with their soldier during Family Day at Fort Stewart.
photo by Stanley Leary

My son serves in the U.S. Army. I have no background in the military. That means for the last several years I’ve been on a steep learning curve. I guess I really didn’t HAVE to learn the terms and different stages a Army ROTC cadet goes through in their training, but if I didn’t I’m not sure how well I’d be able to communicate with my son.

Learning about his process also has helped me reach a level of understand about this very demanding job. To help in this learning curve I have read a lot, but I have also resourced with people who are far more knowledgable than I am when it comes to the military  and the Army specifically. One of my best resources is a mom I met during Matriculation Day. The day her son reported to The Citadel. That year my son was a sophomore. This new friend of mine always made a point to tell me that my son was a good officer, tough but fair. I appreciated the kind words about my son from another mom. It wasn’t until later that I learned this mom was a graduate of West Point. She really knew what this process was about. She has become one of my teachers on this journey. Quite a few Citadel alums have been and are my mentors on this journey as well. I have learned quite a bit the past 5+ years and continue to learn something new everyday.

Leading up to our son’s deployment I created and joined a couple of Facebook groups for military parents. I joined the Army Officers Friends and Family Support page. It was started the summer of 2010 when a group  of mostly moms met via the LDAC Facebook page. The group now includes others who find us. We all share what we are learning. Each year the Public Affairs Office at Joint Base Lewis-McCord post a new Facebook group for that year’s class of cadets and their families. They also have a blog called Warrior Forge and photo sites. Right now the LDAC 2012 group is still active

The summer of 2010, thanks to a Citadel mom I learned about goarmyparents.com website. It is a terrific spot to visit when you start hearing a bunch of abbreviations that appear to be an alphabet soup. Right after graduation I started the Military Parents of The Citadel group with the hope parents with knowledge and experience about the military would help those of us who know nothing about the process.

The Army Moms Facebook group is a good one to join to ask questions and gain support from other moms. The majority of moms on this site appear to join when their child enlists and heads to boot camp, but many have deployed soldiers as well. The Files section of the site has very helpful information. The Army Moms page is where I learned that the term Green Dot will bring joy to a family member. It refers to the green dot that appears when a loved one is on Facebook. Just seeing the Green Dot is a sign that they are alright.

Once my son deployed I was invited to join the Parents of Deployed Soldiers Facebook group. The group is several years old. They have  a group of volunteers to monitor the site 24/7. Before posting to the group you are asked to read and agree with the OPSEC policy.

Today we have far more ways to learn and gain support than in previous conflicts. many soldiers have ready access to computers and can Skype, email and Facebook with family and friends. That isn’t the case for everyone though. The battalion commander of my son’s battalion has encouraged family members to write letters and send boxes. Not everyone has ready access to electricity much less computers.

Our guy has been deployed for a few months now. The months leading up to his departure we experienced a real roller coaster of emotions. We have found a new normal in our daily routines now, but it isn’t always easy. I guess we have learned to live with a level of stress any family who has gone through deployment will understand it. Others try to understand but really can’t.

In the last month I have heard from our son more than I have in the last year combined. It isn’t much, one time I received a short one word reply. That one word was enough to know he was OK.

The most comforting experience is when I send off a note just because I am thinking of him, and he replied right back. At first I thought, “What a coincidence.” It has happened so many times now I have to believe the mother/son connection is alive and well even though we are a half a world away.

Gift Ideas for Citadel Cadets and Graduates

I’ve noticed that a number of people are searching for various permutations of “gifts for Citadel cadets” lately. I have learned of some other unique gifts since an earlier post and will link to them here along with some popular sites.

Brenda Harris Tustian has a wonderful site that includes customize prints for Citadel fans. See her website , then go to “Personalized Art,” scroll down to see “A Citadel Christmas” and “Gameday Memories Citadel”

Chocolate Cadet by Christophe Artisan Chocolatier Patissier
Chocolate Cadet by Christophe Artisan Chocolatier Patissier

A fellow Citadel mom recently posted a photo of a custom-made chocolate cadet from Christophe Artisan Chocolatier – Patissier. I emailed the shop for more information and learned each Chocolate Cadet is made to order by hand. They sent a photo for me to include here.  The cadet is not on their website. You need to call the shop to order, 843-297-8674. Each Chocolate cadet is $19.95 plus applicable taxes and shipping. They require a three-day lead time if you are picking up from the shop, longer if it needs to be shipped. When my grad returns from his deployment I will definitely be placing an order.

One time that is searched for frequently are the custom-made Cadet ornaments and nutcrackers by Carolina Cadets. We have an ornament and a Summerall Guard Nutcracker. They are well made a fun to display at the holidays. Our nutcracker guards the entry foyer of our home. (She will be back online in 2015)

Carolina Cadet Nutcracker and an Army Nutcracker purchased at Target.
Carolina Cadet Nutcracker and an Army Nutcracker purchased at Target.

A great gift for a graduate is the Lifetime Membership to the Citadel Alumni Association. It is $400 for juniors and seniors, CGC students and Active Duty Students.

The Big Red flag or a company guidon is a great gift for a graduate. The Big Red flag can be personalized with the company letter and /or the graduation year. The staff of Carolina Flag and Banner are very nice to work with.

A BIg Red Flag with graduation year from Carolina Flag and Banner
A Big Red Flag with graduation year from Carolina Flag and Banner

Of course the Gift Shop on campus has a wide variety of terrific gifts for cadets and graduates. The frames for the diplomas may seem expensive, but once you price them at a framer you’ll see that the price is comparable. A popular gift for Recognition Day is a company t-shirt and window decal. Under the Alumni tab on the website are some nice gift ideas for the graduate.

For members of the Summerall Guards and alumni you can find nice gifts on their website under “Shop for Promo Apparel.” These items make great gifts for senior mentors who are a members of the Summerall Guards.

M. LaHart & Co. has a very nice selection of gift items for cadets and graduates.

I have learned that parents of Citadel cadets are very resourceful. If you have a great gift idea and are willing to share the idea with other parens, please post a link in the comments here.

Remembering our Fallen Heroes

A Vietnam Veteran replaces worn flags beneath the trees along Warrior's Walk at Fort Stewart.
A Vietnam Veteran replaces worn flags beneath the trees along Warrior’s Walk at Fort Stewart.

After visiting with the rear detachment office at the 3-69 AR BN I stopped at the memorial site called Warrior’s Walk at Fort Stewart. Spending the afternoon on the base and seeing scores of Army soldiers where ever I went kept my mind on the young sergeant in the 3-69 who lost his life January 10 in a small arms fight. I never met SGT. Wittman, but he is a graduate of The Citadel and a member of the same battalion my son is in so I do share some connections with him. My heart aches for his family. Taking a few moments and walking along the Warrior’s Walk I found myself praying for the scores of families who are now one member short.

Shortly after arriving I met an older gentleman along the walk. His arms were full of small American flags on sticks. He wore a Vietnam Veteran ball cap. He was replacing worn flags with new ones all along the walk. We chatted for a bit, I thanked him for his service and continued my quiet walk.

Spurs, a boot and several statues are placed in memory of a fallen soldier.
Spurs, a boot and several statues are placed in memory of a fallen soldier.

Each tree has a small circle around it. Family and friends can leave items beneath the tree. I found myself stopping and pondering the items left. Some had a token from a favorite sports team. Some were covered in small angel statues. One had spurs, various statues, and a single boot at the foot of the tree.

The tree that hit me the most was one toward the front. A small photo of a young boy hung from a branch. Was this the soldier as a young boy? I try not to think about what I would do if it was my son that this tree stood for, but with this tree I immediately thought of the photo I have of my 4-year-old with his old Army helmet on one Christmas morning.

One memorial tree had a photo of a young boy on one of the limbs.
One memorial tree had a photo of a young boy on one of the limbs.

Warrior’s Walk is a beautiful tribute to the soldiers who lost their lives in Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom. There are just too many trees there.

As I left the walk my new Vietnam Veteran friend showed me the small opening in the pillar that holds the directory of the trees. One day soon SGT. Wittman will be in that booklet. I hope to attend the dedication service.

An Army Mom's Field Trip to Fort Stewart

I visited another culture yesterday, Fort Stewart. Since I did not grow up around the military that is how I felt when I entered the base. It wasn’t that the language or  people were different, but how to navigate the different rules and culture came crashing together for me while shopping in the Exchange.

The Exchange

I met the Family Readiness Group leader at the Exchange. The first sign that I was out of my element happened pretty quickly. I was sitting outside the Exchange in what I thought was the front entrance. A few minutes later my contact walked up and said, “I thought I should check over here. I was waiting on the other side, the front of the building.” Oops.

This was my first visit to an Exchange on a military base. It was like a mini mall. My shopping companion knew exactly where to go once we were inside. We passed kiosk shops with framed sports photos, ladies wigs and other items. We arrived at our destination, a store filled with uniforms and supplies for soldiers.

Before my trip to Fort Stewart scores of friends and people I have never met sent me checks to go toward supplies for the soldiers of the 3-69 AR. Many of the soldiers are in remote areas without access to the internet or a PX. Getting needed supplies is difficult, so are showers. We were told before they left that our soldiers will need us to send items like soap, deodorant, etc. more than snacks and goodies. When I heard there were some soldiers who needed socks and underwear, etc. I put the word out and people responded. To date I have received $1,310 for this project.

Once inside the Exchange I handed over the cash, holding some back to go toward shipping. Since I do not have a military ID all the goods needed to be purchased by my contact. We decided shopping at the Exchange was better than ordering online with free shipping. The prices are so much better on base we could send more to the soldiers this way. We are buying for two platoons, about thirty men.

socks in the cart

We started in the underwear and sock section. Standing in front of a wall of socks we began to read labels. We settled on one style labeled “Military Fatigue Fighter” and features “Graduated Compression” and is made with “Wick  Dry & Scentry Technologies.” While neither of us really knew what “Scentry Technologies” actually means after reading the description of the sock we decided on this style. We opted for a mix of large and extra-large socks. It was on to t-shirts and underwear.

Standing in front of the t-shirts we had fewer decisions to make. There was only one choice in the type of shirt to make, cotton or polyester. Then it was a decision about the size mix. After getting enough for two per men, it was on to the underwear.

The standard issue briefs were only $2.05 a piece. While most of the guys we knew prefer boxer briefs we opted to go with the standard issue because the boxer briefs were over four times the price.

By this time our two shopping carts were pretty full. My shopping partner was keeping a running total on her smart phone.

We turned to the cold weather gear. Because the soldiers are in an area that is very cold now we opted for the “ThermaForm Neck Gator.” The label touts, ” A unique construction of layered fibers that create a body-conforming climate capsule to keep your neck and face warm and protected from winter weather,” Plus it had moisture control. I am learning that wicking and moisture control are important features for soldiers.

After a quick check of our running total we had enough money to buy something in the three dollar range. We opted for foot powder and were on our way to check out.

I made a slight detour to look at the Teddy Bears dressed in uniform. Our 14-year-old daughter came to mind. She misses her oldest brother and would love one of these bears. I settled on one with its cover pulled down to cover its eyes, the same way our soldier wore his cover at The Citadel, plus it had a distinctive nose like our guy.

On to the register. The ladies were very nice. One rang us up while the other bagged the items. To our surprise we came in at $995, not the $1,100 we thought we had. It was on to the PX to buy breakfast bars and oatmeal. The MRE’s provided the needed calories, but we thought the soldiers would appreciate something that doesn’t come from a standard issue box.

loaded carts

The PX was a big grocery store with great prices. We made quick work of the breakfast aisle loading up our large cart with boxes of nutritious bars and oatmeal. A little girl about 4 years old just stared at our cart as we walked down the aisle.

The check out line was like any other store. The lady working check out reminded me I was not at home in an off base grocery store. As she was ringing us up she asked if we needed custom forms for the USPS. We didn’t tell her why we were buying such a huge amount of bars and oatmeal, she just knew. It turns put she receive the stop mail notice for her son and had a stack of forms in her car. She gave the young guy bagging our groceries her car keys to retrieve the forms she no longer needed. One Army mom helping another.

With my little Toyota Corolla now filled up with items to ship to Afghanistan, we drove to the battalion headquarters office to see the Family Readiness Group Support office. I wanted to stop in to say hello and to express my condolences to the rear detachment staff after the death of Sgt. Wittman of the 3-69 just a week before.

After a quick visit and a few photos, I was on my way off base. I took a little time before I pulled out to reflect on the day. I only spent a few hours on base, but I had learned so much. I had to let it sink in a bit.

As I approached the Main Gate, I saw the “Warriors Walk” a tribute to Fort Stewart soldiers who lost their life in during Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom. I had to pull over to pay my respects. I’ll write about that experience in my next entry.

Dorie visits with the Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader and the FRSA.
Dorie visits with the Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader and the FRSA.

 

The Citadel: A note to Parents of the Class of 2013

Seniors in the Class of 2008 march in the Long Grey Line.
Seniors in the Class of 2008 march in the Long Grey Line.

Sunday, January 6, 2013, cadets from The Citadel return back to campus for the Spring semester. For the Class of 2013 it marks the beginning of their last semester as cadets.

I’ve watched the last several years as the seniors anticipate being part of the long grey line of graduates in May. They look forward to their time to break free of the rigors of the military college and begin their life as graduates who wear the ring. Sometime during graduation week it really begins to hit them. They have worked hard for four years to earn the right to wear the band of gold, walk the long grey line and receive their diploma.  What dawns on them graduation week is that while they are moving forward with their new life, they are leaving some of the best years of their life behind. They have become family to their classmates and will now spread across the globe to begin the next stage of their life.

I’ve heard it said among alumni and I have seen it with the cadets the past few years. They spend four years trying to graduate and the rest of their lives trying to get back.

For the parents of the Class of 2013 I have a few tips for this semester and beyond. . . .

Remember tickets to graduation are limited to 8 per cadet. they can request additional, but it isn’t guaranteed. The Cadet Activities office handles all tickets. Your cadet can network with their friends to see if they have tickets to spare.

Enjoy the next four months. Realize your cadet has made it this far in a very tough program because you gave them the tools necessary to succeed. It is a great accomplishment for the whole family.

Spring semester flies by. Visit when you can. Take photos.

Plan ahead for graduation. Make reservations for lodging and meals.

If your cadet will commission with a branch of the service begin now to learn what that will mean for your cadet. The required uniform is expensive. Rituals like the first salute from an NCO also includes handing them a silver dollar. Join the Military Parents of The Citadel Facebook group. The group includes current and former members of the military who are also parents of cadets are graduates as well as parents who learn from each other as they pass through the various training then deployment stages.

Make plans to see the friends YOU have made the past four years. The Facebook groups are great, but be sure to get email and mailing addresses.

Consider purchasing a frame for their diploma from the gift shop. They seem expensive, but custom framing is more expensive.

If your cadet is a member of the Summerall Guards consider purchasing a few items now to give as gifts later.

The Lifetime Membership to the Citadel Alumni Association is a great lifelong gift. Other alumni gifts can be found on the CAA website.

Moms, if you want a “mom’s ring” you may need to let your husband know. Some cadets purchase them for their mothers, but many never think about it. Your husband and your cadet could work together to get one for you.

Your senior is a young adult. They will make mistakes. Hopefully they will learn from their mistakes. Be there to listen when they want to talk, but try to move from a supervisory role to interested observer/consultant. It is time for them to strike out on their own. This transition can be as difficult and even more difficult for the parents than the cadets.

For everyone in the classes of 2014 – 2016, your time is coming soon. Bookmark this entry for future years.

A Note For Parents of 2014 BVA’s:

Be prepared for a tough few months. Your cadet is about to begin their most physically challenging time at The Citadel. I am also told by graduates that they look back on their time as BVA’s as some of the best times they had at The Citadel. They just don’t have extra time to call or keep in touch. Join the Facebook pages for the Summerall Guard Foundation and The Summerall Guards once your cadet makes it. Summerall Guards wearables can be purchased through their website. BVA pants and shirts too.

 

Previous Posts about Graduation week:

Celebration, Tradition, Ritual: The Long Grey Line

Citadel Parent Crafts Her Own Graduation Ritual

Graduation Day: No Longer the Mother of a Cadet